Best Thing You Did to Prepare Your Preschooler for the Arrival of a New Baby?

before I was due, my dd and I made cupcakes and frosted them, then froze them. When ds was born, we pulled them out of the freezer, and we had a birthday party for the baby at the hospital!

Get a baby doll so he can take care of "baby"too!

My son was 3 years and 5 months when his sister was born. Are you going to find out if you're having a boy or a girl? I think that really helps, because you can really start to concentrate on saying "baby brother" or "baby sister."

My son was invested from the very beginning in the baby. I had been really worried, because prior to my pregnancy, he wasn't into babies. At. All. He couldn't have cared less about any of his friends' younger siblings. He used to tell me that he didn't want a baby in his house and he never wanted to be a big brother. But as soon as he found out I was pregnant, he became so interested and involved. He was convinced from the very beginning that the baby was a girl (he was right), and he pretty much named her.

Some of the things we did to keep him interested was tell him that the baby was our present to him, so she was essentially going to be "his" baby. We bought Joanna Cole's "I'm the Big Brother" book.

The other thing we did, which was sort of by accident, was that we had bought a bunch of Thomas trains right around the time he really started getting into them. We had planned to make them a present from the baby when she was born, but we ended up buying a bunch of them cheap from a garage sale. So we started giving them to him a few weeks before he was born, saying, "The baby wants you to have this." It kept him so excited and interested to meet her.

We saved his two favorite trains for when he came to meet her in the hospital. I made sure I wasn't holding her when he came in, and we had put a picture of him in her bassinet. Honestly, he was more interested in the trains than his sister at the hospital, but I think the whole hospital atmosphere freaked him out a little. We made sure to come home as quickly as possible and got back into our routine as fast as we could. He was back to having playdates three days after his sister was born (I was very fortunate to have had an easy delivery).

Honestly, I do feel that I may have been very lucky with this combination of children. My daughter is pretty sunny and easy to love. My son has given me a run for my money in a lot of ways, but he totally made up for it with the way he has been with his sister. It's wonderful to have discovered this side of him and to find a whole new way and reason to love him.

When my older daughter came to visit me after the birth, I was NOT holding the baby. I let her come see me and hug me and I asked her how she was and what she had been doing - I basically gave he rmy undivided attention for a few moments before we brought the baby over and let her hold it. i wanted her to know I missed her, and she was not "replaced."

More in terms of preparation, I let my daughter make a picture for the baby's room that I framed and hung before the baby was born. It said, "For my little sister..." I also let her help paint and be involved in setting up the room. We read the Dr. Sears book about Mommy having a baby. And I planned dates with her in advance of the baby's arrival. For example, I promised her I would take her to get her nails done on a weekend when the baby would be about 3 weeks old and we wrote it on the calendar. My baby was born around Valentine's Day, so I also let her paint giant red hearts on my 9 month tummy (I hav eseen pumpkins and Easter eggs too)..

S.M...great advise. I did the same thing. When my second was born my oldest came to meet his new little sister. When he came in the room I was in the bed and the baby was in the isolette. We talked about his day and then we both got to meet her together...counted toes and fingers...looked at her hair, checked her ears, etc.

The baby also got him a gift. At the time she was born the "how to train your dragon" movie was out. We had seen it at the theater and he loved it. So she got that for him. He picked out a girafe at Target to bring her.

We prepared him by saying that babies can't talk...so they cry.

He had a big brother basket with diapers, a paci, wipes and a toy to help us.

I was so nervous! But it all worked out fine.

I think the best advise I can give is when your oldest is doing something wrong regarding the baby, correct your spouse. For example, if the oldest is bouncing the baby too hard in the bouncer chair, tell your spouse (or whomever is around), "We need to be careful when we are bouncing the baby...we only want to do it like this (and show)". That way you are not singleing out the oldest...

M.,
When I was pregnant with my second, I waited until after I was really showing to tell my oldest. Once I was showing, I would mention every now and then something about the baby that was in my tummy that was going to be my son's little brother. After I had my second, my husband brought my oldest to the hospital and I let him crawl up in bed with me and chat for a while so he knew he was still important and loved. Then we presented him with a gift from his new little brother. It was a Kid Tough camera by Fisherprice. They are digital so they get to see their pictures immediately and it is a way to keep them involved when you are holding the baby. We also had a book called I'm a Big Brother Now. It talked about how the baby was going to need attention but Mommy and Daddy stil love me and all the things that the big brother can do that the baby can't. Hope that helps and congratulations.

My son was a little younger than yours when his sister was born, but I think the most important thing I did to prepare him was to take him on my lap every single day for weeks before his sister was born and tell him, "We're going to have a new baby at our house soon and babies take up a lot of Mommy's and Daddy's time at first. But that doesn't mean that we will love you any less. It just means there's more love to go around."

We also got Johana Cole's "I'm a Big Brother" book and the Berenstain Bears' book about Small Cub's new bed. (Can't remember what it's called right off and can't find ours, but it paved the way for our son to give his crib to the baby and move into a toddler bed.)

My mom also sent my son a boy doll to take care of when I was taking care of the new baby and my son, who's now 7, is still very attached to "Baby Eric."

After our daughter was born, I would let my son "help" me change her by getting me the diaper and wipes. Once when he was playing with her, he suddenly ran down the hall to her room. When he came back, he handed me a diaper and told me, "She needs to be changed!" I also tried to spend some quality one-on-one time with him when she was taking naps -- reading books, building with the Megabloks, whatever.

My baby girl was born on my son's fourth birthday. Though we tried to explain ahead of time that he would have a baby sister, I don't think he really got it until he could see her. Luckily, he seemed to be in love with her from the moment he met her.

Now she is six months old, and he is so protective of her. He has never had any jealously toward her. Of course, we had to go through a few general behavior adjustments with him that we assume resulted from getting a new baby sister, but he has only expressed love for his sister.

I do know that we made sure to have gifts for him in the hospital. We also managed to have his birthday party when our baby was one week old. In addition, my MIL was in the house for at least a week after my son was born to make sure he had lots of attention. My son was her only "job."

For involvement, we let him take the lead. If he was interested, he could "help" with the baby. If he was happy doing something else, we didn't bother him or we only asked if he wanted to be involved.

Also, he did not miss any preschool when our daughter was born. Luckily, she was born on a weekend, and we were home from the hospital by the time he was supposed to go to preschool again. I think regular attendance helped him feel normal.

I wouldn't stress about it too much. Do your best to casually tell your son about it. Make sure he has seen a few very young babies. Finally, make sure there is something special for him in the hospital. Although, thinking back, my son thought the coolest thing was the tray of food for me. I wasn't hungry an hour after birth, so my son got to eat anything he wanted on the tray. He still talks about that tray. :)

Also, I had planned to not be holding the baby when my son walked in the room, but I think I ended up forgetting and holding her. It didn't matter too much because my son was afraid of the IV that the nurse hadn't removed from my hand yet. Even when the IV was removed, he didn't really want to get close to me until I was home.

I think 3.5 to 4 years of age is a good time to become a big brother. It should go well for your family.

My daughter was younger than that when my son was born, but even so she loved helping put his room together and she would pat and hug my tummy a lot, it was very cute. We also had her bring a gift to him at the hospital and she really liked that. Plus we got her a 'big sister' shirt and that was a big hit as well! ;)

Also, and this is more for right before/after baby, but I bought a cute little tote bag from Michaels and some puffy paint and I let her decorate the bag. Then we bought some fun new books, stickers, little toys, etc. and stuffed the bag. Then once I had delivered and brought the baby home, I only brought it out when I had to nurse and/or pump. This way it was a "special" bag of toys. I had it in the room with me and she played right there. I didn't need it for more than a month or so b/c by then she was used to him and would play a little better without bribery!

I would let him know that *we* are having a baby. Be excited, expect him to be excited. It is his baby, too. I would not read books that have even one negative word in them about having a new baby in the house. Ever. I would not give him one breath of an idea that he should be jealous or that it will in any way be a bad thing for him to have a new baby brother or sister. Only share excitement and joy over the new baby. Children naturally love babies. Go with that-and enjoy the excitement! Congratulations!! (BTW, I have 6 children and we have never had one moment of sibling rivalry or disdain for the new baby. All of my children are so excited when we find out we are having another. And, they pray all the time for us to have another one! They love having new babies in the house!)

My DD was 2yrs 5mo when our 2nd DD was born. I bought the book "I'm Going to be a Big Sister" by Brenda Bercun (there is a Big Brother version, too). We started reading it to her during my 2nd trimester. She loved the book & asked for it almost every night. We changed the little girl's name in the story to hers. It taught her what it meant to be a big sister, about teaching the baby how to do things, it even vaguely explains (very simply) how the baby will come out & that she'll be at grandma's when mommy & daddy goes to the hospital. We also took her to my ultrasounds so she could see the baby. We did a sibling class at our hospital, which showed her how to hold the baby, diapering & about bottle & breastfeeding (we did both) and she made the baby a card to give to her when she was born. And we let her pick the baby's name (we had it narrowed down to 2 ;) ). We had a little jealousy at the very beginning & some setbacks with potty training (which we expected). Overall, she is a wonderful, loving & caring big sister. She loves to help her & love on her. She's the one who can make DD2 laugh & giggle like crazy. I just love watching them interact :)