Preparing 2.5 Year Old for New Sibbling

Hi M.,

I agree with the book and doll. My son was younger when my daughter was born, so we didn't do this, but I think it's a good idea-- go shopping for a small gift he can give the baby when she's born-- something small like a book, a small stuffed animal, a blanket, or a rattle. Also, you may want to buy him a small present to give him in the hospital as well (or a big brother shirt or pin). My son was 21 months when my daughter was born. My sister brought him a little toy car when they were all visiting his little sister at the hospital, and he immediately brought it over and put it on his new sister's belly to show her. It was so sweet!

Good luck!
A.

We just had a new baby, and my 2-and-a-half-year-old son is doing GREAT with her. I'm trying to think of all the things we did to prepare him. I think it helped a lot that he has an older sister and so has always had to share us. But beyond that, we did a few things.
1 - He has a book called, "I'm a Big Brother" by Joanna Cole
http://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Brother-Joanna-Cole/dp/06881...
that he loved. It was good at explaining things.
2 - I honestly think it helped him to know the baby's name before she was born. We talked a lot about Maggie and what she would be doing and what I would be doing with her.
3 - I explained before she was born, frequently, that I would be nursing Maggie and he would have to help me by being patient and waiting for me to help him or play with him.
4 - I did not make any other changes (like a big boy bed or pressing potty training) as I think the sibling adjustment was enough.
5 - We talked over and over about appropriate ways to touch Maggie ("very gently"), showed him what that means, and also talked about appropriate toys to share with Maggie. Of course once she was born he was still too aggressive with her (loving, but too rough) and still tried to give her his trains, but I think preparing him in advance made it easier to get through that faster. Now he is really good about keeping his toys away from her and always says "I touched her very gently" every time he touches her!

Good luck to you! And congratulations.

Hi M.,
When I was pregnant with my twins, I took my oldest daughter to our local hospital where I delivered the twins. They have a program for older siblings and it was great. They informed the children how their sibling or siblings are going to be here soon, had them color pages, they all got certificates and badges showing that they were the older sibling. What else I thought was great, is that every person got a t-shirt that said, "I am the older sister" or "I am the older brother" which all the kids thought were great. I delivered my girls at Silver Cross Hospital in Joliet, so maybe you could see if the hospital you will be delivering at does this??
Good Luck
C.

hi!
we just went through a similar situation in our house , my girls were 2.5 yrs old when we had our new baby too, i bought them a book called first experiences, our new baby its made by priddy books they have a website priddybooks.com , it seemed to help , we would all sit down together every night and read the book either i or my husband would take turns , and we would show them my belly and tell them a new baby is coming , i let them go to my dr appts too so when the dr would listen to the babys heartbeat we would tell them thats the baby in mommys tummy getting ready to come out and live with us.
we never practiced with dolls but i know that it helps too.
anyhow everything so far has gone pretty good , when we first brought her home bella had a few accidents in her pants and went back to normal after about a week or two and asha was just a little over emotional/extra sensitive for a few weeks.also they both started acting like babies that was a little tough to get them to stop acting like babies and start being big girls again , giving them little jobs(getting diapers or wipes during diaper changes) to help me with the baby really helped they felt like big girls with responsibilities and its nice to have a little extra help anyway:)
anyhow just wanted to let you know its a little hard the first week or two but everything works its self out (with us it did) and now its great i have little helpers they love being big sisters !

You may think this a bit too much, but I would watch the "birth day" episodes on Discovery Health with my daughter. She was 2 yrs 5 wks when we had our second. So, she knew there was a "slimy baby" in mommy's tummy. She was actually in the room with us through the entire labor and delivery (my family was getting hit by Hurricane Rita, so no one could come up). I think it helped that she was there to sit on the bed with me and touch her baby sister, within minutes of delivery. It made her involved.
Also, she LOVED receiving packages for the baby. I ebayed a lot, so we'd get baby clothes in the mail. She'd help me open it and sort through them all...talking about how they were for the baby.
Good luck!

I have a 2 year old and a 5 week old. We read the books "I'm a big brother" by Joanna Cole, and "What a Baby Needs" from the Dr. Sears library to our son before the birth of his sister. WE also told him about the baby in mommy's belly. He would give it kisses before she was born. Afterward, he ignored the new baby for awhile, but now loves the books and to give kisses to his sister. I don't think there is too much else you can do to prepare a 2 year old for a new sibling. Our pediatrician also suggested the doll, so that will probably be a good idea.

Good luck.

I did similar things with my daughter when her sister was born, she was 3 when her sister was born and I kept her involved the whole time. We would pick out books to read to the baby in my belly, she would kiss my belly, tell her sister good night and when we chose the name, we told her so she would start calling her by name in my belly to get used to it. when the baby was born, we had Taylor with us all the time, she would help change the baby, feed her, get her to bed, we would let her sing bedtime songs to her, color pictures for her, all sorts of things. We let her hold her, with us next to her and supporting her head, but anything she wasnted to help wiht we let her and this really helped, she never felt threatened by her until she started walking, when she was mobile, but that is antoher story.
I hope this helped
M.

M., Why don't you try a sibling class at the hospital that you are going to deliver at? My daughter was the same age when my son was born. She went to a class offered at the hospital and it went very well. Your son is old enough for one of these classes. Jen

We have a 2 year old with a new baby. We got books and talked about it ahead of time. We got a couple of presents for him that he received from the baby. At the hospital, he received a book and a couple days later he received a little truck. When we received presents...we sometimes told him that they were for him...big brother plant, big brother basket....When we met new people we made a big deal about the fact that he is a big brother. He loved the extra attention. He loves his baby sister...He used to tell anyone in the house Bless You when they sneezed. Now, she's the only one. He always says...Bless you baby Lauren when she makes any sound that is not a cry. The other thing is that I try not to make everything about her. The advice that I received from somebody with 5 grown children was that as long as I am meeting her needs she does not know whether or not I am giving her full attention...he is likely to be more sensitive so make sure that you are giving him enough attention so that he does not grow to resent her. The other thing is alone time. It really helps to have time only with him.
She's now 5 weeks. It has been easier than I thought it would be...he is mostly potty trained. He has more accidents...and he has more tantrums...but I think that some of it is the age.

We live in the Palatine area...if you want to come over for a play date you are welcome. This would give you the opportunity to get him around a big brother and a baby.

S. B. (____@____.com)

My son was 2, almost 3, when my daughter was born. I took him to all my doctors' appointments and we'd hear the baby in mommy's tummy go "woosh, woosh, woosh". I didn't think to get a doll, but I did point out nearly every baby we saw, so he'd understand what a baby was. I'm not sure he totally made the connection though, until we brought her home. He helped me pick out little toys and clothes before she was born, and helped show them to her afterwards. Several of the people who had gifts for the baby, thought to give him a little something too - which helped a ton. My husband also made a big deal the night before the two were introduced, of letting my son know he was a big brother now. Presented him with a plastic sword and shield so he could protect his sister. (Of couse they had to be taken away later, since my son seemed to be protecting her from the cats!)

Some other moms I know thought to take the older child out for a special lunch for just the two of them or a special day of fun just before the baby was born. Someone else mentioned specifically getting them a gift from the baby when the baby is born - I wish I'd thought of that one! If the baby arrives and immediately has a present for the older sibling it might help turn a positive swing on it.

Even with the stuff I did do, my son actually rejected ME when I came home from the hospital (partly I think he was pissed that I'd gone away to the hospital!), when I made a point of going to get him from his nap without the baby so he'd know I was still HIS mommy too. I told him I loved him and he pushed my face away with his hand and said "NO!" I tried again with the same response and had to leave the room. I hadn't slept in over 48 hours and was shattered to tears when he said that - broke my heart! It took him a few days before he would really come near the baby and I, but eventually he got curious. Nowadays he makes her laugh more than I do! It gets easier as the baby gets more and more interactive and now my son LOVES his little sister and tries to give ME advice on what she needs/wants when she cries! :-)

Hello Again! :-)
We were in your boat a month ago. I have an almost 3 year old and I had a baby 5 weeks ago! We told my son that there was a baby coming and that he was going to be a big brother. I don't think you can completely prepare your child for the new baby. As long as your son knows that a baby is coming, then you are fine. If you are planning to breast feed, try to have your son bring you a book while you are feeding the baby, so he doesn't feel left out. Feeding time for the baby is a special time for my oldest now too.

I think a baby is a good idea. My advice would be to practice him being gentle and not touching the baby's face, etc.

Best of luck to you!
B.