Working Moms and Kindergarten Homework Packets

Updated on November 09, 2010
T.A. asks from Sacramento, CA
15 answers

My youngest daughter will be starting Kindergarten next year. I’m already secretly dreading the homework assignments.

When my oldest daughter was in Kindergarten she would come home with a homework packet every Monday that was to be turned in that Friday. That only gave us four nights to work on it. I explained to the teacher that as a FT working mom I wouldn’t have as much time to spend with my daughter on these packet as I would hope. I asked if she would consider changing the due date to Monday instead so that way we would have the weekend to work on it. She stated that she had done that before but that the kids forget to turn them back in after returning from their weekend off. She also stated that she wasn’t going to give out different due dates as that wouldn’t be fair (even though the majority of other moms were SAHM’s). She was not flexible, understanding, etc. so I let the subject drop. It was such a nightmare trying to get the packet completed and turned in on time as she was assigning a lot of homework and also projects on top of the homework. I volunteered a lot in the classroom often taking an hour or two vacation time here and there in order to do so. I kept noticing that one of the students would never hand in her homework packet on Friday. Everyone else seemed to have theirs but this one student never did. When the teacher would ask me if all the students had turned in their homework, I would always say “yes, everyone but so-and-so” and she would say “oh, okay”. Well, at the end of the year I found out that she was allowing the other child (who’s mother was also a FT working mom) to turn in the homework packet on Monday instead of on Friday!!!

My question is this if I encounter the same problem again with the packets going home on a Monday and then being collected back on a Friday how should I handle it? I plan to ask yet again if we could hand it in on Monday vs Friday so that we’ll have the weekend to work on it but what if she says no? Where do I go from there? Do we have the option to turn it in late? In the KIndergarten setting do they get docked points for turning them in late? My oldest daughter really wasn’t learning anything because she was just too tired to fully benefit form the homework. Are there any teachers (former teachers) out there that can offer advise?

By the way, my youngest will not have the same teacher nor be attending the same school that my oldest daughter did so it may not even be an issue. I have also been trying to get her use to having homework in the evenings by giving her some of the Preschool/Kindergarten workbooks and having her work on those. So far she loves it.

Any advise???

Thanks!

Update: They need less and less help from the parent as they get older. Not all daycares offer homework help. The homework was exceeded 45 minutes. I really want a working mom or teachers perspective. Also, she'll probably have the PM Kindgergarten. She wakes up every day at 5:30 am because when your're a working mom sometimes that's how it has to be so our days are longer. I don't want anyone acting like we're asking for special treament that isn't what this is about. It's about being accomodating. And like I said the teacher did do it for the one student!

Yes, it was about 45 mins-1 hour per night!!! We had the packet + many times projects + the nightly reading of 15 minutes. It was horrible.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to those of you who showed understanding and made positive, helpful comments. I do appreciate them. A special "thank you" to the teachers that shared suggestions. I went on-line and looked at the district website and it states that in Kindergarten they will have 20 minutes of homework INCLUDING projects & reading. This is not to exceed four nights a week. So the problem was that the teacher did NOT account for the projects & reading times and was assigning 20 minutes of the homework packet + reading + projects!!! And there were many times when the homework packet itself actually exceeded the 20 minutes (or at least in our case). We no longer have this teacher/school (although same district) so IF my second daughter encounters a heavy homework load I now know that this is not in harmony with the homework policy which I can reference and complain to the Principal if need be. By the way, I had asked for the homework packet to come home early but the teacher said they're not assembled until Monday. I volunteered to assemble them on Fridays but the answer was "no". A couple of people mentioned that maybe she wanted them back on time to grade them....she didn't grade them at all. Do any K-teachers grade homework? I think they just check for completeness. She never once graded any of the homework. She would just check that they were completed and log them in her book/journal. So she could easily glance at it and know what was still missing and it always seemed that on the Mondays I was there she always had students that were absent the Friday before that she needed to collect packets from so I don't see why it would have been a problem for us to turn them in on Mondays. However, I had nothing but problems with this teacher and thank goodness she is no longer teaching but I wanted to know what to do IF I encountered this again and most of you answered my questions. Thanks again!!!

Unfortunately there were those who made unhelpful even snide comments. I'm not sure why you felt the need to comment as you didn't answer my question at all but quickly jumped to conclusions and pasted judgement based upon those conclusions. Was that suppose to help me somehow? I'm NOT asking for special treatment... this was all for the benefit of my child. You need to remember this is ONLY kindergarten and these are ONLY five year old children who are easily overwhelmed!!! If they're overwhelmed with the homework because they're too tired to do it, it's too heavy a volume, etc. than they're NOT going to learn from it and in fact will come to hate it and what would the point in that be? It is pretty obvious now, after reading the Homework Policy, that the teacher was way out of line in assigning that large volume of homework in the first place so I was well within my rights to request extra time for her to complete the heavy volume of work!!! If she would have stuck to the 20 minutes a day guideline this wouldn't have been a problem! On a side note, when I would collect the packets the teacher would have me go through them to check as to wether or not all pages were completed and it was rather obvious to me that the PARENTS were filling in some of these pages as it wasn't even in the child's handwriting. So I wasn't the only one having issues. However, I chose to confront the teacher and explain the situation and ask for the extra time since it was not really "doable" in our circumstances and when she said "no" we grinned-and-beared it and always turned the packets in on time. It made for a very miserable, unprotective evening though. The easiest thing for both my daughter and myself would have been for me to have done her homework for her which I NEVER once did but was rather obvious a lot of the other parents were doing. By the way, I know for a fact that this "other" child was NOT in any type of special programs.

Featured Answers

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Call it accommodating but it is still asking for special treatment. The one student may have an IEP that requires extra time so she may have been required to give extra time to complete. Since you don't know if it will be an issue, I wouldn't worry about it yet. You can always ask but I don't think that is reasonable...once or twice because of special event is but not all the time.

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E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi I didn't read your other responses but I understand your frustration. Personally I don't do "homework packets" but I had one parent in all the years I have taught express her desire that I do. She actually liked it better than a nightly assignment. Anyway my advice would be to ask now if you can what the school's homework policy is. At my school it is outlined in the handbook how long children at different grade levels should spend on homework. Reading, worksheets, projects, all should be completed within this time frame. If the child cannot then they write a note to the teacher. The teacher can then address the situation, is the work too difficult or not understood during the lesson at school? Is too much work being assigned? I think it is wonderful that you care about the work at home being a meaningful experience for your children. It sounds like you had a family/teacher mismatch, but maybe just on that one issue? In my opinion families sometimes have to look harder for the school that is the right "fit" whose philosophies and approach to education support not alienate involvement. You are the primary educator of your children so thumbs up on tackling this issue. It is often one that can make people defensive so don't get turned off.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

i think if all does it by Friday.. your child has to learn to do it too.. what will happen next year and the year after.. as they get older work needs to be done before Friday.. because Friday is test day.. Where is your child after school... is she in after care.. or with another adult.. she should be able to do her homework with the person you put in charge of her. Most kids in after care take care of homework and then play. What time are you picking your child up.. if it's by 6.. have dinner ready.. from say a cock pot.. and then do homeowrk by 6:45.. a little each day and she dshould be fine.. good luck but not every teacher will change for you...

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I've been involved in education in one way or another for most of my adult life, and I feel real despair for children and families when I hear how much homework some schools assign elementary-age children. There is NO RESEARCH that shows this work actually benefits children before high school, and many developmental specialists believe its actually detrimental. There are also schools with outstanding educational records that do not assign homework.

I'm not sure what I'd do if I were in your shoes, but I may get a chance to find out, because my grandson will be starting K next fall, and I don't know what the homework policies will be at his school. In his case, I think he'll groove on doing "big-kid" work up to a point, but not all children are so academically-oriented, nor should they be expected to be. If the burden were to become onerous, I expect I would join with my daughter and son-in-law, talk to his teacher, talk to the school administration if his teacher can't make adjustments, and ask for a change in homework policy.

I've worked inside the school system, and know this can be somewhat risky, making your child a possible target for teacher or administration resentment.

On the other hand, teachers sometimes are forced to go along with ill-advised policies and are incredibly grateful when parents speak up, especially if it's an organized group of parents arguing for a change. So I'd do my best to connect with other parents concerned about homework, too, and present a united and reasonable front. I stress "reasonable," because hysterical or enraged parents get dismissed pretty quickly.

Do your own homework (there's lots to research on the web, and some well-written books on the subject. Here's one good starting point; a talk at this link by Alfie Kohn, a very thoughtful educator. ttp://www.alfiekohn.org/books/hm.htm

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

The other child may have a special IEP. The teacher is not aloud to discuss this with anyone, so she would not share that information with you..

I agree with Allison. From the time your daughter gets off from school, till she comes home, where is she? If it after school care, I know they have a snack, work ion homework,/receive tutoring and then get to play. If this is not offered, I bet other parents would agree with you, they would also like this type of help for their children also.

If they do not, could you find one that does? Would it be better to find a college student to pick her up, take her to your home and start the homework, maybe even start dinner also? Or the student could go to your home in the morning , get daughter up later, let her work on homework after breakfast and then take her to school?

If your child is going to a home, could they help her with her homework? We used to practice the reading part during the bedtime routine.. Dinner, bath, daughter read, then I or my husband read to her..

Try to think outside of the box. My mom was a single mom working full time with 2 children.. We just had to learn to do a lot of this on our own. Or we just made it happen. While she cooked we did homework in the kitchen. If we did not finish we worked on it after dinner till it was done. That is what it was like every night. We just knew we had to get it done..

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P.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Before you worry too much, why don't you contact the school that your daughter will be attending and see if they can give you guidance what their homework policy for K is? And/or ask some other mothers in the district. I investigated out of curiousity before my oldest started K and now 1st grade what was going to be expected. And it was pretty easy to find out. I'm not sure if you mean 45 min a week or a day either. If a week, that averages to 11.25 min a night so as a fellow working mom, I have to say that seems doable. If it was 45 min a night, I'd guess you had an unusual teacher and might not get so unlucky next year.

S.L.

answers from New York on

I am a working mom and a K teacher My son's teacher said "homework in kindergarten is optional" When I gave homework for week I insisted it be Monday to Monday for a packet or one Short assignment a night. My school is not giving any K homework this year because parents kept asking for harder homework for their kids. Find out if Kindergarten homework is mandatory in your kid's school (not just his class) Find out what are the "consequences" for not doing the homework. In many cases doing the K homework results in receiving a sticker, no homework, no sticker. IF the teacher is not flexible enough to accept homework on Monday- You give your own child a sticker for doing homework. If you meant the homework exceeded 45 minutes a night, - Then Thank God your second child is going to a different school! 10 minutes a night per grade! There are more things in life to worry about then Kindergarten homework! Read with your kids as much as possible, take them places and talk, talk talk to them!-this is more valuable then any homework.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I am so dismayed that kindergarteners have homework! It's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard! I work full time ( and actually part time from home as well), and I would have raised hell if I found out she was letting another kid do that! Did she take points away for it being late?

You can ask if the policy can be to turn homework in on Mondays. I'm sure you won't be the only working parent in the class. Explain that it would really give you and your child a lot more time to concentrate on the assignments. However if they don't comply, you have to go along with the rule. IF you find out it's being bent for someone else though, you tell the teacher you get the same treatment or you will be headed directly to the principal's office to discuss it!

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C.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi T. - Is that 45 minutes a week or a day? 45 minutes a day is way too much for a kinder to handle in my opinion. 15 minutes max is about all they can take. I would suggest a little conversation with the principal on their takehome work policy.

A few things to consider - I know a LOT of working moms. They are sales reps, doctors, lawyers, retail people, office workers - the full spread. They all deal with this issue and frankly, they all play by the rules. You can always ask the teacher and see what they say. If it were me, I would ask for the homework assignment early - to come home on Friday - rather than ask to turn in late. Teachers have way too much homework themselves and they need the weekend to grade and review papers and get ready for the next week.

It doesnt matter what every daycare's homework policy is - why not just ask your daycare to help her with this? Perhaps ask them to give her a place to sit and do some of her work for 15-20 after school and provide some help if she has questions. If they value your business, they will consider your request. It could at least take the edge off.

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V.N.

answers from Sacramento on

As a previous first grade teacher (sahm now), we understood that most of our parents were working as well as being full-time parents, so we sent the homework packets home on Friday, due the following Thursday. It was great, because we could remind the few students who didn't return it on Thursday to just bring it in the next day on Friday. It was also great because the parents had the option to help their child when it worked best for the family. I'd stongly encourage to ask the teachers if this is possible (if it's an issue). I know I would have made an exception if you'd come to ask me about it, as we don't know as teachers what you have going on at home, and we really want to work with the parent to help each child. Communication between teachers and parents is so important and often overlooked. Good luck this year...

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

None of my grandkids ever had homework until they were at least in 2nd grade. They might bring home a simple thing like cut out pictures of things in a magazine that started with the letter...O, for example. Not what I would consider real homework, doing some math, some reading, some spelling, etc...hours worth of work. As parents I would say we have the right to tell the teacher we cannot do what they are asking. Our children's homework is one of the things I take issue with. One teacher gave about 4 hours of homework on Thursday evening and expected it to be back on Friday morning. He was 8 and I worked on Thursday evening at the gym where he was in class. I told the teacher that that particular evening was unacceptable to us and she wold have to change it. She refused and I went to the Principle and we had a meeting and I told them the same thing. It was impossible for us to fit that schedule. We ended up getting it changed.

To me the whole issue is odd, I remember having homework and having it go back the next day and it be all wrong. My parents didn't know what the teacher wanted and she would invariably give me an "F". I would have learned it wrong and then she would have to re teach it to me and then when testing time came I got bad grades due to being confused. If kids don't have time at school to "get it" then the teacher needs to spend more time on the subject.

I just don't believe in homework I guess. They are kids and they spend 8-9 hours at school and then they want them to come home and spend hours more on homework. When are they supposed to be kids, play outside, exercising, doing team sports, have a part time job, do gymnastics and dance, do family activities, what are they expecting kids to do?

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What the he** kind of Kindergarten gives that much homework??? My kids have NEVER had theat much ever (they are in 3rd and 1st)...and we are in one of the best school districts in PA. When my sons were in K they never got homework AT ALL. I actually wished they would have give a little just to get them in practice. With your next child I would majorly question the teacher if she should get that much homework. The norm is 10 minutes per grade-but that starts at first grade, not K. But I doubt you will have that problem again-unless it is a CA thing to give that much hw in K.

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R.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Instead of asking to turn it in later than she asked, ask if she can give out the packets on the previous Friday so you have the weekend before they are due to start it.

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A.W.

answers from Sacramento on

I worked when my first one was young, and I also worked at an after-school childcare program for 2 years, and I think that your best bet would be to have whoever takes care of her after school until you get off of work to do homework with her (if not the whole thing, then at least some of it). Maybe you could do the reading with her and the nanny or daycare could do the packet? It will not be good for either you or her, if you only have 3 hours or so together in the evenings, for an hour of that to be homework. Try to keep in mind that what she does (or doesn't) do for homework is for HER benefit, not the teacher's, and so if she isn't benefitting from some part of it, you as her mother have a right to decide whether she needs to do it, whether the whole packet needs to be complete by Friday or not, whether what is sent home is too much, etc. (especially for Kindergarten!) Keep in mind that she will only be 5 years old, and just because she is in school, you are still in charge of her life. Most teachers that I have worked w/ over the years (I have a 19 year old and a 9 year old, so there have been quite a few) are very nice and willing to work with you and to make reasonable accommodations. I would say that probably 95% have been very reasonable and easy to work with, there are only a few that only care what their "policy" is and not what the child needs in order to be successful. If homework time is "horrible", then you have a right to change something about it so that it will not be horrible, for the sanity of the whole family. Honey, if this is only October and you are already dreading it for next September, that is just not okay! Life is too short to be that worried about something like homework for your kindergartener (it's not like she won't get into Harvard if she gets a bad grade on her kindergarten homework)!
Best wishes to you,
A.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

A kindergartener should not have more than 20 minutes per day of homework. Homework is supposed to review what was taught in class. If your child understands the work and is working steadily, more than 20 minutes is too much work given. If the child needs a lot of help with the work, then the concept has not been taught to her understanding. A parent should be able to manage that amount of homework (yes, I worked) and if it's more than that amount, you should address with the teacher/principal what is an acceptable amount of homework. The AAP's guidelines would suggest not more than 20 minutes at this stage.

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