Where You Meet a Good Guy

avoid the bars & night clubs! Good men are hard to find there! (sorry moms & dads)

Join a health club, a family group...usually accessible thru churches. Put the word out thru your trustworthy friends. My sis used a "local" match.com setup & met her love. The daughter of one of my friends met her husband at a local restaurant.....she was there with her child & he was there with his 3 children. !!

& honestly, since you are a mother, I think your best bet is to "put" yourself out there as a mom....not as a lady looking for fun. You are a package deal & there's lots of dads out there ....in your same situation! Make it about the kids & not the nightlife! The nightlife will resume when your children are moving on.......it's amazing how much parental freedom comes with teenhood & later!

T.,

That is a tough question ~ I thought I wouldn't find anyone who would want to marry me again because I had kids! I used to go to a country western club just to get out of the house and most of the guys were jerks, they wanted a one night stand, that's all ~ I wouldn't go out with them...one of the guys decided he wanted to date me and they all told him not a chance, she doesn't date anyone...he started talking to me and every time he saw me he would talk to me...we started dating, he knew I was going through a divorce and had kids. One weekend he invited me to bring my kids over because he was going to have his kids, I thought well this will be interesting!! I had a son 6 months old...that was 25 years ago and we just celebrated our 20th anniversary...yes those guys are out there, they accept the package deal:)

My sister has 4 kids and has been married for 3 years now:) Just keep looking and it won't matter where you look it will be when you least expect it that you meet someone! Just take the time to see what the guy is like and what he thinks of a family!

I hope you find that special man:)

My personal success story is via eHarmony! I was like you with only one kidlet when I met my guy and now we're happily married and just had our own baby a few months ago. I HIGHLY recommend the website if you're serious about finding, meeting and dating men again.

The main drawback is that it's not free and if you pay by the month it can be expensive. I always paid for 3 months at a time to get the better deal, but the way the matches are made is what really works in my opinion. I did all the goofy little questions, followed the "rules" and couldn't have asked for a more perfect guy for me. I think that because it costs more that it kind of weeds out the losers, players, married guys looking to hook up on the side, etc. All of the guys I met and went out with from eHarmony seemed to genuinely be looking for a partner, not a fling.

I liked that I couldn't choose my own matches, but that the website chose guys for me - I don't know about you, but all the past guys I had been with were NOT right at all. And now that I'm with the right one, I know why the rest weren't it! We clicked right from the start. I will admit he looks nothing like anyone I've ever dated, but evidently getting out of my comfort zone as far as "type" goes was the best thing I ever did. LOL

Ignore other people if they think you're somehow "damaged goods" because you're divorced with kids. That's total B.S. If you decide to join eHarmony, you'll meet plenty of guys who either already have kids or don't mind if you do - it's all part of the match-making process and they'd never match you up with someone who didn't. Anyway, it was SO worth it in my opinion - best of luck to you!

I don't have much to add, but would like to thank you for throwing it out there. I am single (34 yrs old) with 2 kids after being in a relationship for 12 years...I have no clue where to go or what to do & I pretty much severred my ties with most of my friends. I tried plentyoffish.com...it's a free internet dating site, but didn't have alot of luck, but I didn't stick with it too long though. My one friend dates regularly off there (& has had several relationships, the difference with her is she's the female that doesn't want a man with kids) & another found her significant other on there. I am thinking about trying to get involved in organizations that interest me...volunteer at the pet adoptions, or help with children's home / organization.....the problem is when you have kids...where do you find the time....? I'm not an overly religious person but the church I go to is geared at the 50+ crowd, so I am seriously thinking about getting involved in a younger /family oriented church. Good luck, it's rough, especially when you thought you had the good guy once already!

I met my husband at my church, Heartland Community Church... church can be a wonderful place to meet men! I had a 2 yr old when he met me... and also had 3 other children living with me.... for a total of 4 kids! He still went for it... lol!

Have you thought about church? The first date that my stepdad went on with my mom was church. Not saying you wouldn't be injured there but it's a lot better than the predicament you are in now hon.

I always said that if anything happened I would try Match.com or Eharmony.com. I figure it's all laid out there on the line before anyone responds to you. So whoever responds would know you are a package deal! Plus, you can decide what you want in a mate. There are many men who would want somebody with kids, even 3 kids!