Taking 3 Kids to Church by Yourself. Do You Swing It?

Yup! I totally do this! I'll start by saying that my husband is a devout Christian, but is unable to go to church. At home we read the Bible daily together and pray, but I just need to go to church.

I started with mine early, so you'll have a little struggle getting them used to it, but they WILL and hopefully they'll grow to love it.

Okay, I started going back to church when my oldest was three. At that point, she was the only one, and it took her a bit to get used to going into her own Sunday School class...so I'd go early, sit with her for a bit, and then leave before class started. The teachers were SO sweet, and she got attached pretty quickly, and plus the other kids were great.

When my stepdaughter started staying with us weekends (this was when my oldest was 4 and SD was 6) then I took them both. No problem at all.

I have a new baby, who is ten months old. I only took two weeks off from church after having her, and we were right back to it. At that point, other children were 5 and 7. I just brought baby into Sunday School class WITH me, fed her under a cape, etc...and if she cried, I'd walk her around in the foyer for awhile.

I am the pianist for my church, so while I am playing (and I have to go downstairs, play for the Hispanic service, and then come up and play at the beginning and end of the English service) I used to have someone just hold the baby, but now she won't have it and cries so I just have to put her in the nursery. She cries a bit, and then she plays. I go get her as soon as I can, and take her back in at the end of the service just to play the last hymn. If I didn't play, I'd just keep her with me during the church service. THe other children just sit in our pew during the church service and I have another woman who sits with us, but they don't really "need" it...

As far as the boredom, I let them bring a backpack with books, coloring books, and crayons. No toys, nothing noisy...but they do have Sunday School, and when they are older I will expect them to pay attention in church, but not yet. THey are still young. They get plenty from SS and from home. I bring snacks for the baby and some favorite Sunday only toys.

And I'll say this...it is TOTALLY overwhelming. I have to bring so much stuff, my husband is not up in the mornings so I have to shower, dress, get them fed and dressed, and get everything out to the car on my own. I live in Minnesota, so if it's winter, I have to manage to shovel the driveway, scrape the windows, and everything else.

I have to tote a TON of stuff into church (of course, the older ones help and I take my stroller in to help carry stuff...everything BUT the baby). But the older children are so used to it when we get there they just go right down to their class, come up when they are done, and go sit in our pew for the service, where they've already left their bags so they are ready to go.

Overwhelming? Yes. TOTALLY WORTH IT? Yes. I look forward to it every week, I think it has SO MUCH value, and you should absolutely try to do it...even if it is overwhelming. If you have any questions on how to handle anything, I know I can help...I've been doing this with children for years...but I think I've covered everything.

Sorry to be writing so long, but I so want you to go to church! :)

I used to guilt my husband into going to church with us, he hated it and we never had good experiences (inc the kids). We used to go to Catholic churches and they were never very kid friendly. We searched around and found a family friendly non-denominational Christian church and loved it. The kids programs are phenomenal so the kids love going. Even my husband looks forward to going since he feels he's getting so much out of it. So it's important to find something that's positive and fits you. Btw, I read once that faith is one of the 3 major deterrents of teen suicide and depression. That certainly motivated me to get my kids into a good church.

Yes! I have a 6 month old, 2,6&8 year olds and the neighbor kid who is 9 comes along too! Its usually just myself and the kids, but some times my husband does come with us. This past sunday the Pastor told me I was a strong woman and I could be how ever late I needed to be as long as we came to church! lol, I'm usually on time, except when my 2 year old decides hes too big for the nursery lol.
So I say go and enjoy the service!!

Hi Molly,
I know exactly how you're feeling. I took all 3 of my kids to church all by myself. When we found the church I wanted to attend, my husband was working weekend day shift. So, it was me going all by myself with my infant, 2 year old and 3 year old. Talk about a lot of work...right!!
I think the more you take them the more used to it they get. My kids love going to church now but in the begining they were a little anxious because it was new to them. So you just have to get them to a point that it's no longer "new". You can totally do it if you set your mind to it.
Some helpful hints for you...
Get everything ready the night before, baths, clothes, breakfast, even toothbrushes. This way, you have a minimal amount to do in the morning and the kids aren't stressed (and you) before you even get out the door. Then on the way to church explain to the older two how much fun they will have playing and learning about God and making new friends. Kinda "prep" them. Also tell them you expect good behavior! It will only take a few weeks for them to get the hang of it!
I'll pray that God gives you the strength and courage to pull it together each and every Sunday morning. You obviously know how important fellowship and growth in the Word are!

I only have two, and my hubby does go a lot of the time, but there are plenty of times it's just me with the kids. I hit the nursery first for the 2 year old, and the older kids go to the sanctuary for the first 15 minutes. Then we take them out to their RE teachers. My oldest is not always happy, but I always talk to him about it beforehand (he just is 5), and he usually goes with little problem. It's a bit stressful! It can be done. Consistency is key. Go every Sunday for awhile to get them used to it.

I would if I was by myself. It is a lot of work but you can do it. Also once you make some friends you might carpool with someone (you drive or they drive either way) and help eachother.
Good Luck! =)
ps. good for you for taking ur kids and yourself to church!

I agree with a previous post, if the kids don't enjoy and you do...why not a little "mommy" time for you - let Daddy keep the kids. I have three (5, 3, &1) and we go to church generally twice a month without Daddy also. It's a lot of work getting everyone ready, but my hubby helps and then we're off. The two older ones go to class after a brief time in the sanctuary with me and the little one stays with me the whole time. I haul in a bag full of soft, quiet toys - we have wooden floors so if anything falls it makes lots of noise! I also take snacks, sippy cups and books to entertain her while I enjoy the service. Also, our church is pretty small and the congregation is forgiving when she decides to sing during the sermon. I feel the benefits I get from the service outweigh the stress it takes to get there - Good luck.

Molly, i am right where you're at. I have three kids, 5, 3, and 7 months. When my husband can't go to church with us, i can't figure out how i'd manage all three of them. The oldest and youngest wouldn't be the issue, it's my 3 1/2 year old son who's such an active kid that i need both hands just for him. I could probably manage it better if i let him snack through church (he'd sit still for that) but i don't think eating in church is appropriate so we don't do that. it's so much harder taking three kids to church than it is taking three kids to the store, where their collective volume and activity isn't a problem. i will say that i have seen an improvement in my kids' behavior in church just through the repetition of being there. You could try taking them in increments... take one, get them used to it, and then take another. Or tell your husband that this is one thing that's really important to you, you need his help, and ask him to go with you. Good luck! I hope you can make it to church today! :)

Just go, There is always a mom whose kids are grown and gone that you can sit by that would love to help you with the baby.... (it happens at our church all the time- soon they will be competing to 'steal' the baby) and you'll be wondering why you ever worried. You can keep your two year old with you, or go to 'class' with him for a few minutes til he gets settled. Once he realizes it can be fun or he realizes he can learn something there, or it is fun, or he makes friends then he will be anxious to go. The same with daughter. Start with your daughter. Keep your son with you. Then move on to your sons class. Then you will be able to sit in Church and enjoy it too. You will all come home refreshed and it will be worth it. (I have 4 kids and we went every week while my husband was deployed for over a year).
L. D

Oh yes, church and kids...quite a combination!! I only have two, but my one year old was going through this thing lately of all the seperation stuff and that has been kind of tough. When everyone is healthy, we all go! If my hubs is unavailable bc of work or whatever, I pack 'em up and take them. For your six year old, how about some crayons and coloring books or maybe just books she enjoys. Just until she loosens up and sees other children enjoying it, and wants to go and join in. The two year old will adjust. It is hard at first, but they do get used to it. The newborn should be just fine in the sanctuary with you. What I do often is just pack things up the night before so the morning flows easier. I try to get a shower the night before as well, one less thing to do. Breakfast on church morning is usually granola bar, milk and fruit. Very little clean up. It is so great that you want to take your children to church and it does take some effort but I am so grateful my mother took my sister and I. She was single and my sis disable, she worked graveyard shifts at a power plant and STILL took us to church. She is like my hero!! But don't get discouraged if you make it a couple weeks and then miss some. Just keep trying, getting three kids anywhere is no small task!! Maybe if hubby sees you guys going he will get inspired to come a long, I wouldn't push it or anything, but that happens a lot. Take care!!

Your six year old can learn so much from a good church, keep trying, she'll make friends and love it soon. IF Dad will keep one or two of the little ones fine, but it will get easier and easier.

Okay you are the one who wants to go to church. Your six year old is not thrilled and your two year old as well.
So leave he children with their Dad and go to church alone. If it's right for you you will feel good if not try a different church.

I take my 2 y/o with me and leave my newborn with DH. I will eventually take both on my own but the great thing about my church and a lot of Catholic churches is they have crying rooms so if one of your little ones starts to get ansy, you can go in their for a little while (or the whole mass if you want).

It's a commitment. To be honest, I don't do it because I don't really want to go myself, but I do wish I was giving that foundation to my kids-not just spiritually, which they do get at home and at Christian pre school, but a disciplined routine for Sundays is so good for them. I was raised with it and really loved church and Sunday school as a kid even though it was tough to sit still (but we HAD to which was good). Anyway, lots of my family members do it. With kids. And dads who conveniently "cant' make it". You have to make the commitment, use discipline, and in time it will become easy. They love it and all the kids behave well in church. Even the babies get used to it. Good job. Now if only I could motivate myself to go to church instead of watch Meet the Press....
Maybe you could get the hubs to go with you a few times just to get the kids used to it so you can take them alone.

It will take a while to get them used to going but keep going. It is good for you and your kids. I have always had my kids in church and we went when hubby was in the field or now at work on Sundays. We go even earlier now and leave for church at 8:15 because we have worship practice before Sunday school and it's a 40 min drive. I have 3 kids and take 2 others with us so like getting 5 kids ready and we make it every sunday and even stay all day because they are involved in drama practice and Sunday night worship team too which also has practice so easier to stay at church all day than to come home for 1 1/2 hours and go back. My husband works on Sundays and is gone when we wake up. He does attend Sunday night service.

Even when the kids were babies we were involved in various activities. I have been in choir or on a worship team ever since I was in 3rd grade so music has always been a part of my life. I am also involved in ladies meetings/fellowship and now involved in youth since the kids are now teens. They have been involved in the drama team a long time too and Royal Rangers and Girls ministries.

Also teachers can tell which students attend church because they usually have a longer attention span and can sit still longer in school.

My hubby wasn't raised in church but he did start going when the kids were little and is in church every service that he is able to go to when he isn't working.

I took 3 by myself starting at ages newborn, 2 & 3. My husband usually goes but there is about 8 weeks out of the year that he has a work project so we don't see him. It was hard doing it alone but so worth it.

Initially I bribed them that we would go out to lunch afterwards & that seemed to help. Now they are 3, 5, & 6 and they can't wait for Sunday morning to sing, do craft & do readings. There are church functions like, movie night, VBS, etc & they beg to go. We were sick for a few weeks this January & had to miss & they were so upset.

My husband grew up catholic & went to parochial schools till 5th grade. Then his mom decided to become a Jehovas Witness and turned his world upside down. He new marrying me that I was a practicing Christian. It took a while for him to come around and I didn't push him. He goes to church the majority of the time but I am happy to say that today was the 1st day that he took communion all on his own. So give it time your husband may come around.

Do you go to the grocery store with three? To the park? To the zoo? Museum? Mall?
I do all of those things, with my three (I have a 9 week old, 8 year old and 5 year old) because I would go crazy if I was just stuck in the house with all of them!
If it's really important to you your 2 year old will get used to his class and learn to love it, your 6 year old wont be afraid, and your newborn will probably sleep (since church is boring for a tiny one!). Good luck!
L.
PS. I don't think it will make your husband come though. My husband would be so damn happy to have us all out of the house that he would either veg in front of the TV or sleep in.

I took four... often by myself. When my grandchildren visit, I take up to three now.

You can do this. Children often take a while to get used to church and Sunday School, simply because it's new and they don't know what will happen... just as if it were a new school or a new neighborhood. So of course they're uncertain. You're uncertain, too, right?

One thing that may help is to tell your children that this is a new adventure that you ALL are in. Remind them that it takes a little while to make friends, and that you're learning to make friends there, too. Your good attitude will help their attitudes to be good.

You don't say how big the church is, but perhaps you could call the church office, explain that you're new to this whole thing, and ask if there's someone in the Sunday School department whom you can meet. That way you will have a new acquaintance whom your children can know as well, and the place won't be quite so strange.

Don't worry about your daughter saying that church is boring. Church services are geared toward grownups. Many parents eventually teach their children how to sit with them during the service; they learn to sit quietly, pay attention to parts of the service they can follow (perhaps the music and the Scripture reading), and often they have a little of their own reading or drawing they can do to pass the time otherwise.

The secret of the logistics, especially with children, is to plan well on Saturday. Lay out all the clothing (including yours) the night before, and streamline your morning procedure so it's as simple as you can make it. It's just a matter of getting into the car (or bus) at the right time. When my children were little, it seemed as if something would always try to snarl up our Sunday morning routine, but we made it work anyhow.

Good for you! Don't give up. Try to develop a consistency, so that going to church becomes a normal thing for you and your children. And don't worry about your husband. Right now this is your adventure.

Some churches are better set up for kids than others. If you can, ask some moms in your area where they go and what kinds of programs they have at their church. Some churches have a glassed-in room in the back for moms with babies. There are speakers so you can hear the service but no one in the main sanctuary can hear you. So you can sit in there with your little ones and not worry about them making noise. Even older children can stay with you in there and eat snacks or color if they don't want to go to sunday school.

Just do it. I finally did last November after waiting for years for my DH to go with me. I felt so guilty for not having our kids in church and I woke up one Saturday and said we are going tomorrow no matter what. The kids were scared but they ended up really liking their classes. I didn't make my hubby feel guilty like I had done in the past. He had to make up his own mind to go and I didn't want it to be for me like in the past. One Sunday I was shocked when he got ready and went with us. We have been going ever since. Just do it. The kids will adjust and they will enjoy going.

Seriously, the first thing I would do is pray about it. I read some very positive ideas from others. But, if I have learned anything in this life it is that even a collection of great ideas can fail where divine guidance and assistance never does.

I know that your goal is to take the children for their own benefit, but I feel the best thing you can do is to make sure you are going for your own spiritual benefit and then using that spiritual advantage to teach spirituality to your children on a daily basis. When my son was young, I had a difficult time finding a children's program I liked and decided to 'home school' his religious education until we found a program that taught positive virtue awareness, how to pray meaningfully, how to trust in God and walk a path of dignity, humility, and righteousness. Unless he was old enough for the religious program I was attending, he stayed home with Dad or another relative. Today my son is 24 and is joyfully offering two years of volunteer service in the holy land. I know he will be a father who will raise his children with respect for religion and a genuine love of God. In fact, by the time he was 3, he was teaching what he was learning to his father (who was also not much for religious gatherings). I'll never forget the time I came home from a religious study and told my 3 y/o son that we memorized verses. He wanted me to recite what I had memorized, so I did. Then he automatically started reciting a verse he had been memorizing. Innocently, he turned to his father and said, "Okay Daddy, your turn." My husband looked up at me with that deer-in-the-headlights-look. I shrugged my shoulders. Then my husband did the most perfect daddy-thing he could do under the circumstances. He looked at his son honestly and said, "Daddy does not have a prayer memorized. Could you teach me one?" I will never forget how he leaned forward and carefully taught his daddy a prayer just two or three words at a time, stopping to let Dad repeat each time, until he had it down. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. From then on, my son was committed to his father's spiritual education. It is true that the best way to learn is to teach! I think my husband did more for my child's spiritual education by allowing himself to become the student than other single influence. Of course, I made sure he had something to teach his father. But, I know it would not have been as meaningful to him if he did not have a student. Don't get me wrong. I feel that religious community is truly important. But, unless it becomes part of your home and relationships and the way you live your lives daily, it is not likely going to provide what your children really need.

That said. You might consider taking one child at a time, letting them know that getting to go to church is a privilege that requires some maturity. When they are mature enough to go to their class independently, they will get to go with you. If you take the oldest child and she has a problem, you are free to stay with her to see if she feels ready to take this step on her own. If it is too difficult, then she can stay home next time. Then, you can come home and tell her that you looked in on her class and saw the fun the other kids were having and tell her the stories the kids got to hear that day or the activity they did or the song they sang, etc. You might be surprised at her willingness to go with you soon. That will set the standard for each child as they grow into the church experience. There is nothing wrong with stepping them into the church community experience gradually.

I also want to offer a slight warning. When I was young, I had a Sunday School teacher that taught us outrageous dogma which the church, itself, did not promote. I was taught that the 'mark of sin' God placed on Cain for killing Able is where dark skinned people came from!! That teacher also displayed anger toward the children from poorer families and showed favoritism to children of parents of position in the church or community. I truly loved some of my teachers at that church, but this one was very inappropriate. Before allowing a child to attend any of these programs, I would have a talk with the church administration to learn more about what type of guidance, training, and support the teachers receive and how they are vetted. Many churches will simply accept any volunteer they can get.

I just feel that if a child is uncomfortable with a class, it is worth finding out if it is just a matter of bringing your child into it all gradually or if there is some other reason the child is not happy there.

Many blessings to you and your dear family. They are blessed to have a mother that cares about their spiritual education.

Hi Molly!

I'm so sorry church has become sort of a chore for you!! I've got a friend who takes her four children to church by herself. Her youngest is two, but she's been going to church by herself for the last few years. So she's also, "been there, done that". lol She's always running late, but she makes it!!

Please don't get me wrong, but I find it promising that you have guilt. That means you truly want to go! Good for you!! What I would suggest is...GO!! I know the kids cry, etc. but if you don't go on a regular basis, they're not going to get used to being dropped off. Try your best to ease their worries by telling them that you'll be back for them and that they'll have a great time! Of course the first few times may be hard for you all, but once you get into a pattern, they should settle right in. I'm thankful you are willing to take your kids, even as difficult as it is.

I know it's hard! I've worked in the children's ministry at my church for years and see this often! They will be just fine!!

As far as your hubby's concerned, you're correct- don't force the matter, and keep a positive attitude!! Pray for him, that God will change his mind and his heart. I encourage you to join a women's bible study. Some meet during the week and on weekends, and should have free childcare. You will be blessed by the studies and with the friendships you make.

God bless, ls

Ok, me on my soapbox - dont 'go to church just because you feel guilty. YOu should go because you want to have a relationship w/ God and have your children learn about him. Hopefully your husband would go also for that reason and not just for feeling bad. If you are really wanting to go -you just have to go every week for your kids to get used to it also. It's a new experience for them and they need to realize that they are expected to stay in class and that you will not come rescue them if they aren't happy. My kids had the same problem when we first started going with being crying and clingy when leaving them at class but now they have no problems. Good luck.