Sleep Deprived--How to Cope? Mom's of CHALLENGING orADHD Children Help!

you have to flip your mindframe....this is not the ADHD or hyperness preventing sleep. These kids are overtired.....& you need to regain control. Naps & a proper bedtime schedule will set the stage. Consistent parental control & appropriate follow-thru discipline will finish it! Find your method, & stick to it.....& hopefully, life will be easier.

You're pregnant, you're emotional.....& the kids are working it! Take a deep breath, calm yourself....& then be the mom they need....& all will be better! Don't use anger, don't let frustration rule your world.....find some Peace within you....& then teach your children those skills. Good Luck!

Where is your husband? Let him take a couple nights a week. He can go to work tired every once in a while, unless, of course, he is a heart surgeon or an airline pilot, in which case you should have money for childcare. Safer than you being overtired and passing out when you are home alone with the kids.
I went the first 8 months of my daughters life with no more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. I felt like I had to do it all myself because my husband had to get up and go to work in the morning. Finally I gave him a night a week, and one weekend night, and I put on headphones and take a tylenol pm and sleep for 6 or 8 hours. He can handle it fine. Funny thing, she doesn't usually wake up on his nights, so I wonder if she was feeding off my stress.

What about a friend that could just come over for a bit so you can take a nap? Some one from church, if you go?... Not knowing your financial situation I would check into what assistence you could get from the state... as in child care... OR... Talk to a local In home day care provider. I am licensed and have in the past taken a munchkin for just an hour or two in the afternoons so the mommy could get some mommy time. :-) I would charge $5.- an hour... with no contracts... So if you could spare 5 or 10 bucks... or work out an exchange system... you could get some rest!!!
You don't say where daddy is... I would guess that he works and "needs" his sleep... Try to work a deal with him that HE gets up with the kids sometimes... Do they respond the same with daddy or do they act better or worse?

Have you tried hot chocolate made with milk and syrup?

I thought it was just a quirk of my own adhd-c kiddo (because he's a fast grower and hypoglycemic to boot, he'd wake up TOTALLY discombobulated and freaking out)... but I took care of my adhd-h nephew & adhd-i niece this summer and blam! Hot chocolate (with milk and syrup) took care of both of them as well. I don't know if it's because of the fats and proteins in the milk (we use whole or 2%) soothed the starvin'o'the'hunger... or if it was the tiny bit of caffeine in the chocolate, or the soporific effect of warm milk... but whatever it is... my SIL has now started keeping sippys of chocolate milk in the fridge ready to be zapped in her house as well.

The other 2 common adhd tricks are benedryl or melatonin. I, myself, use benedryl about 2 weeks out of every month spring, summer, and fall (I'm adhd-c, also). It's completely non-addictive... and also unlike sleeping pills doesn't last for 8 hours (lasts for 4-6), and doesn't have next day side effects since it's in and out of your system so quickly.

I use benedryl, because I have a 36 hour internal clock. The benedryl "resets" my sleep pattern enough that after a coule weeks of taking it about an hour before bed I can *typically* continue going to bed at around that hour for a few more weeks. Then I start "creeping" back upward. First night or two I'm not asleep until 3-4am, and I start resetting it at 11pm. In the winter, I don't need it, because kiddo and I are snowboarding 10 hours a day (we homeschool, so we can actually do that most days a week). We come home, shovel something into our bellies, rinse off, climb into PJs and crash.

Music played continuously at night also helps many.

I personally don't react well to melatonin (I feel cranky and hot, and never seem to all the way sleep OR wake up), so I skip the melatonin... but it works for many.

It is NOT a lack of scheduling, or anything that has to do with your parenting. So don't beat yourself up. ADHD Insomnia is just a fact of life. Especially with unmedicated adhd.

Ok, this is currently being used in my household as a band-aid on my 4 year old son ... Melatonin. I had my concerns about it too when reccomended by his OT, so his pediatrician and I discussed it and until he is old enough to get into a sleep study and really find out what is going on in that little body of his (working on that answer now) he NEEDS the melatonin to fall asleep, and for the most part he stays asleep. I would call the pediatrician and discuss if he/she feels this is an option, it is natural (your body makes it) and it does not interfere with the possible adhd medication we are looking to start on my kiddo. Good Luck mommy, I was sleep deprived and worked full time for 3yrs until Melatonin came into my life and now I sleep like a rock for a full 6-8 hrs a night!

You got some good advice from Sue. There should be set bed times and if they wake up, they are to remain quiet and in their bedrooms out of respect for the rest of the sleeping family. Once the girls sleep then you can sleep, so that needs to be your focus. Unfortunately it will take a few weeks for any new pattern to develop so stay calm. Develop good bedtime rituals (bathtime, soothing music, reading, etc.). Make sure they do not drink before bed or have sugary stuff in the evening. Lastly, develop or get some games to keep the hyperactivity outside of the bedroom (like twister, or bop-it,...). You need to establish the bedroom as a relaxing, sleep only area. You can also try adding melatonin to their diet, but it takes a while for it to buid up in their system.
Good luck, I know none of this easy when you are tired, but there is no easy answer. Sweet dreams,
C.

Is your five year in any school setting? Can do a swap once a week with a neighbor or friend? You take her kids for a few hours once a week and she does the same for you. Also try getting the kids outside after dinner for at least a half hour then come in for your night routine. Getting them the big movements of their bodies on a daily basis will help with night. Also you can try chamomile /peppermint tea before bedtime to help relax them. And if you have built into your day a down time in the early afternoon where they watch a half hour of TV and rest on the couch that will be good for all you. Good Luck!
J.

With no family and limited funds, you really need to reach out and start a network of a family away from family to help with sitter trading, support in general and coffee dates!
I googled MOPS for Boulder area and there are a number of groups to join. I also saw where they have a number of parent groups that don't appear to have costs associated with them.
Is your 5 yo in school yet? If so, class moms and parents could also be a great resource for other groups that support families. Also, never rule out what your church family is willing to do to support you in times of need!
We moved to TX ten years ago, more than 8 hours away from any family. I had my first son about 18 months after we moved and I got to know a lot of people, really quick becuase I needed the support and it has been so wonderful. There are a number of us who are "family" now and I would not know what to do without them:)
That is what I would encourage you to do. Best of luck!

being sleep deprived is no fun I can't get to sleep or stay asleep this is occuring with worries of my 3 kids my hubby & myself the stress piles up effects my sleep I get 2-3 hrs a night my 31/2 yr old seldomly wakes up anymore but she did 2 nights in a row 1 was for water the other was crying & in her sleep so I had to make sure she didn't have to go to the bathroom.My 7 yr old sleeps great all nite my 18 month old sleeps all night aswell I try to get a nap in when possible during the day.I have resprted to taking Benadryl I do have allergies & skin allergies so might is well take this it makes me sleepy,on other nights I take a generic Tylenol PM I either have a headache or back ache now lat night I used generic Unisom.I still go to bed when the kids do @ 8 all my housework comes to a complete hault I go to bed wake up at midnite the a few more times during the wee hrs of the nite lying there with my eyes closed.Most days 3 yr old doesn't nap,18 month olddoes nap but still goes to bed fine.Do your kids bathe before bed time if so you might try the nitetime lotion & wash I use it & it smells ok but it's comforting read a book while they are all tucked in say your good nites turn on a nithe lite if needed then you yourself shower use your favorite lotion then hit the hay

I feel your pain about being tired with pregnancy -it was all I could do to breathe I was so tired, so I'm sure with this added issue, you're almost dead! Your husband is going to HAVE to step up to the plate here! Too many men seem to get away with, because they work outside the home, never pulling night duty! Well, not only do you work all day AT home with the kids, but you're pregnant, and you didn't get that way by yourself! He's going to have to suck it up and get up every other night with them until this situation is remedied. Yes, he'll be tired, but he still won't be as tired as you are! He'll live -it's just all part of having small children!

My only piece of advice (even though I'm sure you don't really feel like doing this) for getting them to sleep better is to make sure they are WORN OUT at bedtime. I don't have an ADHD diagnosis for my 4 year old, but I compare him to a high-strung dog. If he's exercised regularly -in the mornings and evenings, then he's great -behavior, sleep, etc. But if he's not, then he's a nightmare! By "exercised" I mean something a lot more intensive than just playing outside. We go swimming at the Y or in the summer at the public park pool in the evenings or I walk while he rides his bike or runs beside me and ahead of me or uses his scooter (for 2 or 3 miles -I know I've accomplished my task with him when he's so tired he gets in the stroller with his brother on the way back). When I was pregnant with #2 and didn't feel like doing anything but the pool, I got a membership pass (it's usually cheaper that way) to our local bouncy-jumpy play place. I would take him there for 2 or 3 hours to wear him out. Living in Boulder, I know you have several options that should burn some of their energy! Don't they have that great trail that goes around the city? Take a soccer ball out there and tell them you're playing a game. You are going to walk and throw the soccer ball or kick it out in front of you (far) on the trail and they need to run as fast as they can, get it and bring it back to you. Keep doing this over and over. The 2 year old will get tired pretty quickly, so bring the stroller and put her in it. Let the 5 year old keep going until her tongue is hanging out. You can also do this at any field type area. You'll be able to walk slowly or as fast as you feel like it, but they'll be running their guts out! It works -think about yourself -when you've done something physically strenuous and your body is tired along with your mind, you sleep like a rock.

My daughter is ADHD and has these middle of the night tantrums as well.
You stay away from them when they are doing it, they can get really violent and accidentally injure you or your baby.
somtimes , and I know this sounds mean, but sometimes the only thing that will pull my daughter out of it is a swift swat to the rear end. I've tried holding her tight so she doesn't hurt her self , I've tried talking to her , I've tried just about everything. It's like she's pissed off that she's awake. She she needs help getting control of herself. One swift pop on her rear and she usually stops the kicking and thrashing, etc. She'll be grumpy still but then we talk about it for a few minutes , hold her tight and tell her she needs to calm down that all that fit throwing doesn't help the situation and she agrees, I tuck her back in and she goes back to sleep. She hasn't had one of these episodes in a few months ( knock on wood) so she's either growing out of it or she's learning to cope better with the ADHD plague of waking in the middle of the night.

I tend to agree soemwhat with Sue H that your kids may be overtired. Most 2 1/2 year olds till need anap. As for your ADHD 5 yr old - is she on medication? I've found with my son that the medication can cause sleep disturbances. Thetime released meds have different time spans of release. You may need to go to a shorter duration medication - look it up online, talk to your doctor, etc.. When I was pregnant with a child that didn't sleep I would take them to sleep with me at 8:30 or so a couple/few nights a week. Tell your husband you just can't take it right now and although you'd love to spend time with him you're at your wits end. I never had toddler beds for my kids - they went to regualr single beds at about 2 because there were nights I was so tired I'd just crawl into bed with them. I realize it's not a perfect answer - but when you're sleep deprived you do what you have to do.