Never Enough Time.

DOn't feel bad about working. I don't know how people make it on one income. We tried it for aabout 18 months and then I had to go back to work too. It all works out in the end.

I usually do a crock pot meal a couple times a week, so I don't have to worry about dinner. I put it together after the girls go to bed. When I pick them up, we read books, go for a walk or just play outside until daddy gets home for dinner. The morning will stink forever, I actually have to wake them up, I feel bad, but it can't be helped.

This post could have been written by me! I'm not sure how much my advice will help you because I just went back to work (I teach too) and I'm working through the same problems (my girls are 2 years old and 4 months old).

For the morning, I lay out as much as possible the night before... I pack my lunch, pick out my clothes and the kids clothes, get all of our stuff by the door. For older kids, I've even heard of moms putting cereal in bowls with saran wrap over it, so all you have to do is pour milk and eat. I do 1 load of laundry a day... the night before I put the next day's load in the washer. As soon as I get out of the shower I put soap and softener in the washing machine and wash. (Then I dry when I get home and sometimes get around to folding and putting them away before bed.)

I am struggling with the evening routine. Our first 1-1 1/2 hours after we get home are very hectic. I usually don't get to sit down until after dinner (if even then)... yet my husband (he DOES help... just not equally) comes home and sits on the couch. For these first few weeks I'm trying to plan EASY and quick meals or frozen meals (not healthy, I know... but I gotta get some sanity). I am REALLY trying to spend time between dinner and bedtime as "children time" and then I get back to work after they go to bed. A coworker told me when her kids were little, she'd be making tomorrow night's dinner while tonights dinner was warming up in the oven... I've done a little of that too.

I try to get as much school stuff done at school as I possibly can and I'm hoping to be able to plan lessons on the weekends... and getting a few lessons done during the week. I know this is probably bad of me, but if I have to choose my family is always more important. (I teach high school though so it's not as "emotionally intensive")

My house usually gets very neglected during the school year. I started using the flylady's secrets over the summer. (www.flylady.net) I'm finding it hard to keep up with most of her routines now that I'm back to work, but I did find some useful information that is helping me so far this school year.

Good luck!

K.,

I work full time as an attorney,usually at least 50 hours a week. I generally leave the house by 7 and my husband gets my son ready for daycare and I pick him up in the evening. I have found that getting everything ready the night before is a big help. Once he goes to sleep I get my lunch ready, make sure his clothes are laid out and anything he needs for school is ready. I also try to prep as far ahead as I can dinner for the week. For example, I made soup yesterday that we will have for lunch over the weekend and dinner one night next week and cut up veggies and chicken for stir fry tonight (lunch for me Monday) and the veggies for a spag sauce that I will also make tonight and will be dinner monday. It takes less time to cut up a bunch of stuff once you are already doing it.

Try not to feel bad about working. I know it's hard (believe me) but I think Brendan gets more focused stimulation at school that I could consistently give everyday day. We try to make certain tasks fun (like sweeping the kitchen, etc) to have more quality time together. Finally, I just try to let the little things go. If the laundry doesn't get done on schedule because we were having fun outside, oh well.

Have your husband help out at night and on weekends. We try to always have someone free to spend time with Brendan and alternate turns getting chores etc done.

K.,
I am a teacher too. You can't be disappointed that you teach and don't have time with your kids. How many people have jobs that they are off by 3? Most people don't even get off of work until 5. My suggestion? You can't change the world, so do what you can during your planning period and don't bring work home. I DO NOT ever bring work home. My kids are my priority at home. School stays at school. I love my job. It is the best job you can have if you have your own children. Instead of being stressed or feeling like you are short changing someone, think of how lucky you are that you have 3 months off during the summer and several week long breaks during the year. There is no other job with those benefits. Start this year off telling yourself that you will leave school at school and don't bring work home.
I wish I could give you some hlepful hints to make the mornings run smoother but ours are crazy too!! :-) We have a pretty good routine in the afternoons that make the night run smoothly.
PS. Your PhD? thats great but why? in our district it only give you a 1500$ raise. Totally not worth my time!

Everyone already said get things ready at night - and that is true! One other item - menu planning! We never know what we are going to have for dinner and that makes the evenings stressful.

I plan my meals out for the whole month. Just because you are planning does not mean they have to be gourmet! It can be grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Here is the big thing - grocery shop from your menu! Then each morning (or the night before) look to see what is for dinner so that you know if you need to pull anything out of the freezer. By shopping from the menu, you know that you have everything that you need at your fingertips. It makes a huge difference in the evening stress!

Ok K. here is what I do to make mornings run smoother. Even the kids have noticed that if we don't do these things the mornings are hectic!

1. lay out all clothes to be worn the next day the night before
2. all shoes need to be accounted for and by the front door
3. go to bed on time!
4. Figure out breakfast before the next morning
5. pack lunches the night before

When everyone has had adequate sleep..including mom! things seem to run much smoother. I am a single mom with 4 kids..each is different in the morning but we are up and out the door in an hour every day. As you can see by the list these things really don't take much time in the evening to do. You just have to prioritize your time the evening before. When everyone isn't rushed there isn't anybody fighting with one another. The stress level has a lot to do with how things go throughout the entire day. If you have class the night before your husband can surely handle getting these few things done. We have soccer 4 nights a week and marching band 5 nights a week. So it's not like I don't understand being busy!

As for guilt..we all have it. Don't let it consume you. At the end of the day the kids aren't going to care if the house was perfect..they only care about if you took the time to listen to them. I never let any of my children make me feel guilty for not having enough time for them. I've always tried to take time for each one every evening. They just want to be heard and know that we are here for them.

Also don't let other moms make you feel guilty for the decisions you and your family make. Only you have to justify why you do what you do. Sometimes other moms can make you feel worse..lol. To each his own I say. If you need any other pointers..just ask!

Good Luck!!

J.

Dinner time I think is the hardest time for families, when everyone is hungry and tired and every night is chaos with everyone's different schedules. And of course dinner time is hardest on mom, who is rushing to get dinner on the table. Here is what saved my sanity: I use a personal chef!

I know it sounds expensive, esp when money is tight, but I found that using my personal chef actually costs me less than I used to spend on groceries/convience foods/take out/dinners out. Typically, I order 3 meals for the week, for Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Typically, a meal prepared and delivered including entree for 4 adults and 2 sides costs $20-25. Usually the meal feeds me and hubby and 2 kids for dinner, and there are always leftovers for lunch the next day for both me and hubby, or for a second dinner. And big entrees like baked ziti, lasagne, etc. feed us for several days.

I usually spend about $70 a week for 3 meals delivered and then buy basics and produce and sandwich fixins at the grocery store to fill in the rest of the week. I used to spend over $200 a week on groceries, a night or 2 of delivery or take out, my husband and I often bought lunches out, and we went out to dinner at least once a week. These days we rarely buy lunches or go out to dinner, and we don't even miss it because the food is so good. These days I know I spend less than I used to to feed my family, and its healthier and many times easier!!

My personal chef is Sarah Metzger, she lives in Ellet, her business is Home for Dinner, her phone number is ###-###-#### and her email is ____@____.com is currently accepting new customers. She runs her business out of her home, delivers to your home, and is such a nice as well as professional woman. She will work with you to figure out meals within your budget - her motto is she can work within any budget!!

I have been using my personal chef for over 2 years and couldn't be happier.

Good luck!

What state do you teach in where you have to obtain your PhD in order to remain current in your field? I am also a mom and a teacher in the public school systems. The district I work for is one of the top districts in the state on many levels: test scores, graduation rates, student activities involvement, AYP, NCLB, etc. and there is not one employee in our district that has their PhD. Not even our superintendent! While I admire your tenacity in wanting to advance your education, I think you should take another look at your priorities. Can't you take one class at a time? I know you have to take classes in order to stay up to date in the field, but is the PHD really a necessity or is it a personal goal? Can your PhD wait until the kids are older? I'm sure you're expecting a raise in pay with the advanced degree, but at what cost is it going to come? As an educator and a mother I'm sure you realize how important these years are to your children's development. Do you want them to remember sitting in your lap and reading stories or your kisses goodbye as you rush out the door to another evening class? Remember, when you're laying on your death bed, it won't be your degree holding your hand.

Hi K.,
You may have received all the input you need and honestly, they were good words of wisdom and experience. What I'll add is that the ideal job in my opinion is one where you decide when you'll work and it's done from your home. I have heard people in this business for a long time say they never missed a child's sports activities, birthday parties or really any activity they wanted to attend. Since you are a teacher, you'd love the opportunity to teach every single person you work with. Oh, and you only get paid when you help someone - so teaching and improving the world happens at the same time.

Rather than trying to squeeze more activity in the same hours, I looked at not trading hours for dollars, but earning residual income and improving peoples' lives and the world. If you'd like to look at this, there's a business presentation at www.theglobalsuccessteam.com. I just heard the personal testimonial of a husband and wife who were both teachers and was very impressed with the enjoyment they have found. I would help you every step of the way and look forward to what you think.
S.

I can totally relate b/c I am a teacher too. I teach during the day and run a small tutoring biz out of my home at night. I need to work. My Hubby gets the benefits, but we still need the money. I feel like whatever I do is never enough too. There's always someone who has an un-met need, and they don't seem to hold back about telling me! Agghhh!!!! Anyway, I can't offer much in the way of solutions except to say that since no one in our house is a morning person, but we have no choice due to school and work, we try to go easy on eachother about expressing problems and grievances at that time. We have only an hour at best to get it together and out the door....If a kid starts picking an argument or in some way gets out of line w another kid or adult, they get big time grounded from TV, phone, whatever. Generally they are compliant in the AM even if they feel grouchy and un -motivated. The AM sucks as it is...We don't want to make it worse! P.

My mom is a teacher as well and has been using a cleaning lady for years. She is a person she trusts that just needs a little extra money, and she comes every other week. It is enough to keep my mom out of the funny farm! My mom is still busy, but her stress level is much lower, and she actually has time to enjoy herself now. One other thing that may help you is to take your shower the night before, and have everything you need to bring with you already in the car or sitting by the door the night before. You could also take some time on the weekends making a few meals ahead of time to decrease how hectic it is during the week.

Hi K.. Have you heard of Hearts at Home? Check out their website at www.hearts-at-home.org This is a wonderful organization that supports moms and they have some really good resources! Also, I have gone to the Hearts conference for 7 years and it is so nice!
I hope this helps!
Remember that God sees your needs and he will help you.
T.

Hello! I am a mother of a five month old and have just returned to teaching second grade! Although I have taught for four years, I am new to the working mother thing. I am going to try to cook all my meals on Sunday. I am also planning on hiring someone to come in and do all the floors and bathrooms in my house twice a month. Although money will also be tight now that I am paying for daycare, if I don't do this I told my husband I'm not going to make it. I cannot do everything and I would rather spend $100 a month on having a cleaning person come in than go absolutely insane. I have also made a promise to myself that I will not touch school work while my daughter is awake. I'm going to do laundry throughout the week instead of just on weekends. Can you just take classes during the summer? I don't really think I could take any during the school year. I finished all of my masters over three summers at UC. Then, I took more classes through an online university and did all my coursework at home. Hope this helps!

K.,

Trust me, I know the feeling. I have 8, 6, and 3. Between the five of us, not only are there two jobs, but church, soccer, choir, dance... the list goes on.

I have found that schedules and delgation make for more time and less headaches. We live by the adage it takes every to make a family work. Each child has a task for which they are soley responisible. My husband and I have divided up the rest of the housework. Everyone is responsable for laying out their clothes (and getting them approved) and baths or showers the night before. Each child has an alarm in their room to help them get up in the morning. Rewards are randomly handed out for the kids that get up and dressed with minimal fuss.

In addition to chores, everyone is restricted to two extra activites at a time. Chores and homework must be done or practices/games/recitals do not happen. Dinner is at the table every night, and everyone helps clean up. One day each month is designated as family day and no one may make plans that do not include everyone. Miscellaneous movie nights and other activites create ample opportunites for family fun.

Hope this helps!
Bree

I went through a period of time last year when I thought I was at my breaking point due to lack of time. My husband had a stressful job, I was homeschooling 2 boys, active in the homeschool group and active at church as well. I though I would explode. Then, one day as I was reading my daily devotional, I ran across this one. It really helped me to change my way of thinking and to know that I really do have enough time in the day. It is taken from the Daily Word devotional. It reads as follows:
Day 2: I have time to spare and time to share.
Most days, time is something that may seem in short supply. However, as the writer of Ecclesiastes so beautifully reminds everyone, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."
So whatever is before me to accomplish this day, I will remember that I have time enough to do it with ease and efficiency. As I let go of my concern about due dates and quotas, I focus on what is before me to do. My time is used efficiently. I may even finish my projects with time to spare.
Today and every day I have time to spare and time to share. I share my time with others when they need a helping hand, and I share my time with God when I pray and meditate.
In every situation, I have all the time I need to accomplish my tasks successfully.
"It is time to seek the Lord."---Hosea 10:12

I hope this helps you as much as it did me. Another scripture that I repeat very often to myself is "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."--Philippians 4:13.

S.