Needing Some Advice on Custody

Updated on August 04, 2010
K.S. asks from Clearwater, FL
6 answers

I have a 4 year old son and I got a job offer in Florida and I have already accepted the position. His father lives in Kansas and we currently live in Missouri. We have joint legal custody but no parenting plan or visitation plan. I have always kept it open and he has probably seen him about 10 times since we moved to Missouri which was 4 years ago. I told him about moving and I'm afraid he will fight it. I honestly don't think he can afford a lawyer but I am reading stuff online that he could charge me with kidnapping, I could lose custody, etc. I'm not that worried about it, he wouldn't want to hurt our son. But what rights does he have? He never sees him, half the time it's when I am in Kansas and take him to see him. Any advice would be helpful. I plan to call a lawyer tomorrow to get some advice as well. Thanks.

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

Talk to the lawyer- the lawyer will know the custody laws best in your current state. I don't think the dad has much of a case to stand on, especially not if you've given him notice.

Good luck and congrats on the new position!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

Talk to the lawyer, be really sure, but as far as I know he can't charge you with kidnapping (I dont know about other charges) because even though it is joint, you still have custody,he lives with you and you are the biological parent.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

Definitely talk to a lawyer...it sounds like there are 3 different states involved here...and most importantly is what was decided when joint legal custody was set up!!! Does he pay regular child support? That will have a big effect on his rights...I think.
Hopefully he will just allow you to make the move without fighting it.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Sherrie Brady @ ###-###-#### was my lawyer for my divorce. She was extremely helpful in the creation of my parenting plan. She is located in Independence, MO. Sherrie is a former Jackson County, MO prosecutor and she really knows the ropes and more important, she knows all the judges! I'd give her a call.

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

You need to petition the court that your custody/child support order to move the child. Just call the child support office and ask them about moving out of state with the child and what you'll need to do. I had to do this with my daughter's father. We lived in Indiana and I wanted to move to SC to be with my now husband. All I had to do was fill out a form with the court and have a physical address that I was moving her too. The judge approved it and sent a copy to both of us and that was it. Now her dad could have gotten a lawyer and fought me on it after that if he wanted too. We follow the Indiana state guidelines for visitation right now but I'm currently waiting on the courts in SC to pull the child support order down here since Indiana can no longer modify and review for more child support since both of us live out of state now.

Good luck and take it one day at a time!
S.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

This is difficult to answer because so much depends on what your decree says and the laws of the state in which you were divorced.

I'm quite certain he can't charge you with kidnap! You are not refusing to allow him to see his son, nor are you moving in secret.

How is joint custody defined in your decree or understood in the state in which you were divorced?

Also, it's common for a divorce decree to state that the custodial parent cannot leave the state without the non-custodial parent's approval. I'm still confused by the term "joint custody." I think it means that the two of you have an equal say in how your son is raised, including where he lives. In my experience, parent's with joint custody share time spent living with their child which would mean that he lives part time with you and part time with him. This could affect whether or not you can move with your son if he had that option and didn't take it. meaning it could be in your favor.

Definitely talk with an attorney! Custody issues are complicated and can turn into a massive headache. You want to do the legal thing so that he doesn't have grounds to take you to court. You may already have grounds to go to court and ask for sole custody with parenting time for him. Used to be called visitation.

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