Need Potty Training HELP!!!! - Fort Wayne,IN

My oldest daughter had similar problems. There is a (now) OTC medication called Miralax that we mixed with her juice to soften the stools and makes it easier to go. It is great because it pulls water to the digestive tract, but doesn't cause gas or cramps. I saw it at Walgreens. Good luck.

I agree with Shanna, try some natural remedies first. Apples, raisins, natural grape juice, maybe even some prune juice or prunes if she will eat them.

Also might want to steer clear of constipating foods, dairy like milk, cheese, yogurt, and wheat products, bread, pasta, cookies, will help. Processed food in general is not all that great for the digestive track. Natural foods, fresh fruit, well prepared meats, healthy fats (like avocado) are really whats best! Also bananas are very constipating, they are the only fruit you should steer clear of (this is particularly true for women). Here is a link that may help:

http://www.13.waisays.com/constipation.htm

And if all else fails, Miralax, or Glycolax in its generic and cheaper form (doctor can write a script for the generic, it may be cheaper)can help. My nephew went through a similar thing and it took about 4 months to get him straightened out. Don't worry though, it will get better!

Before you resort to enemas and medicine, you might want to try some natural remedies. Whenever my son gets constipated, we give him extra apple juice and/or fiber. One thing I do is use some flax seed. I grind it up in smoothies, or cook it into whatever we're having for dinner. I haven't found anything that works better than flax seed!

You may think this sounds extreme, but to get my daughter to go I had to tell her she had ants in there that she had to push out. I used ants because she did not like them at all. On my son, I had to tell him he had worms in there. On both it worked like a charm and I never had another problem with them not going. Some make think this is extreme but it does work. Part of it may also be that she sees your 1 1/2 year old in diapers and she gets changed so why does the older one have to be different. I would not suggest you put pull-ups back on her because that will only make what good you have done backfire.

I can't really give advice on how to soften her stool I think pears and grapes may help. I may be able to help you explain the concept to her.

First off...I found that the kind of potty my girls liked best was the simple smaller seat that goes on top of the big one. I like this best as well dince clean up is so much easier and this way I didn't have to train them twice...once on the small once on the big.

I find that a nice visual helps get the point accross. Whenever my girls would go in their panties/pullup I would take her into the bathroom and dump it in the toilet saying "this is where we poop" or "this is where we potty." Whatever you feel like saying here. Then I would sit her on the potty for a bit to see if there was anything left. Usually they would stop themselves after some came out and then finish on the toilet. I always give high praise even if most of it came out in the panties.

Keep in mind however that I did not make this a flowery experience for them. Most doctors/experts will tell you not to get mad. Well, sometimes when your kid sees that you are not happy with what they have done it's the only way they understand it wasn't a good thing to do. I'm not saying beat and scream at her but do firmly tell her that holding it in will make her sick and that going in the tub can make other people sick. Let her see you clean it up and that you are not happy to do be doing it.

Make sure you and your hubby discuss how to handle this. That way she isn't getting two different reactions and doesn't get confused.

Finally, as always turn to her pediatrician. It is their job and they should be able to give you some great tips on how to deal with this. My niece had a similar problem and her doc sent her to a psychologist. Turns out it was due to extra stress at home...lots of moving and parents fighting big mess.

I hope she gets through this. Good luck to both of you!

My daughter, who is 7 now, had the same problem when she was your daughters age with going potty, and having the hard stools. It was like a vicious cycle...she had the hard stool, which obviously hurt coming out, so she would hold it in because of fear, and that would stop her from wanting to go potty AT ALL...let alone going on the 'Big Girl' potty! I had to take her to the doctor because of the stools-they were so compacted from her holding them in, that when they did finally come out, they were literally like bricks! I felt so bad for her, because she would bleed! She had rectal fissures. Doctor said to cut off the whole milk, and give her skim. Also, feed her a diet rich in fiber...apple slices and the like. I also had to insert suppositories in her little bottom. Eventually, it did help, but the hardest hurdle to get over was her fear. Even though we were doing things to help her, she still remembered the pain of going #2, and it was like a mental roadblock. With time and patience, she got back to normal. But, if i were you, i would'nt push the potty training issue until her problems with bowel movements are resolved. Plus, i have also found that you can't push a child to be potty trained. They do better when it's on their own terms. Gentle reminders are good, and look for body signals from them that they have to go, but don't be overbearing and obsessive about it. Don't force then to sit on the toilet until they "go". (Not that you do, but some parents resort to that, and it never works...turns into a battle of the wills, and potty taining is supposed to be a fun process, not a war!). I'm a Mom of 4, so i know the drill! Granted, each child is different, but for now, you should focus on clearing up her constipation/hard stools. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my oldest son, and believe me, they eventually get it (good news)! This may seem odd, but he used to like to go when he was outside playing with the hose (weather permitting-we lived in Tucson at that time). Anyway, he would become involved in playing/concentrating and would go. So, I let him play naked on our back porch (privacy-fenced yard) and I moved his little potty outside. I watched to see when he might go, then I quickly moved him onto his potty. It took one time of this and he was good to go. Also, raisins and apple juice are natural stool-softeners. Good luck! p.s. I saw the advice on flax seed. FYI, you can buy it already ground up in Kroger in the baking section. It is a great choice!

Before giving your child any sort of medication, you should always consult your doctor. I'm not sure how much help I can offer on this subject. My son too, had problems going. I first suggest that you get her checked out to make sure there isn't a medical problem. My son had been born with a collapsed bowel, which wasn't detected until he was 2. Now please don't think that this may be what is wrong with your doctor. The reason I'm telling you this is because of how we dealt with him not being able to go potty for a week at a time. First we had to take him off solid food. He couldn't have anything with spice either. Grape juice seems to be a good laxative. He then had to take two tablespoons of mineral oil every morning. This was quite a task, but he was in so much pain from not being able to go that we had no choice. We had to do this for six months...putting him back in diapers because through the diet and mineral oil, it made his stool so loose that he couldn't control it. That was the idea the specialist wanted to achieve. This allowed his bowel to
heal itself. In answer to your question, I would get her an exam first...and not wait. It'll probably be something very simple as him prescribing something that is very gentle for their little tummys. But in the mean time...try a little grape juice and keep her away from constipating foods such as cheese etc. Good luck!

My daughter did the same thing when we were potty training. She did fine when it came to having to go "pee pee" but refused the other and would hold it until she was constipated, which then made it hurt for her to go, which ended up a continuous cycle. My husband and I finally had enough because she would go days without having a bowl movement, so we went to the store and got an over-the-counter enema for children (which was nothing but glycerine). It had to be administered with a syring in her bottom, which she hated, and within minutes she was going. We called it her "poopy medicine." From that point on, if we caught her holding it and stopping herself from going we'd ask if she wanted her poopy medicine and of course she didn't, so she'd give in and within a few weeks she was having regular bowel movements. Hope this helps.