My son is 4 yrs old and has been totally not himself for a few months now. I remember hearing stories from my friend about how her daughter would throw fits in stores and hit her. I was thinking "just make her stop!" Well, now it's my son who acts like that. Normally, he is a very sweet, shy, quiet child...especially in public, but here in the last few months or so, he whines constantly, hits me, throws fits, makes scenes and talks to me in a very mean and nasty voice. He insists that he can do what he wants when he wants. My husband and I have of course given him time outs, have taken things away, and early bed times...nothing seems to phase this kid!! He has never really been around other kids his age and will be starting a kinder-prep class at our local rec. center in Sept., but my mom seems to think that he needs something like that now. Please Help!!! My days at home have become very frustrating for both me and my son. He acts this way from morning til night and for no reason(s) at all. And then 10 mins. after a fit, he's fine and is as sweet as can be! It's not like him at all!! Any ideas would be greatly aprreciated! Thanks
o so there is a fearsome 4 stage. My son is 3 1/2 and just got out of the terrible twos stage. What we mothers go through. I am going to say that as I haven't gotten to this stage that it is something normal and you just keep doing what you are doing and he will grow out of it. Good luck
Oh boy....I am right there with you!! I also have a 4 year old and he is going through the same thing. I notice it especially after he is home with me for the weekend-after a week full of daycare. I have come to the conclusion that his behavior stems from some of the other kids there that have "bad behaviors". I am sure some things that my son does rubs off on them as well. Daycare is great and is a blessing for working moms, but sometimes it is hard teaching your kids that everything other kids do is not right!
I have found that time out in the corner works well. I have also found that if he is acting up in the store, it is back home to daddy and mommy goes back to the store by herself. While this is not fun or always convienient, it works.
Good luck...and know that you are not alone!
I am so glad that to hear someone else is having the same exact problem that I am having!!!!!!! My son, who is 3 1/2 yrs old and will be turning 4 in July, is the same way. One minute he is so sweet and loving, the next minute he's just being down right bad. I think its just being a little boy because from what my grandmother tells me ( and she had 6 kids with the first 3 being boys who are all 11-16 mths apart) said that my father and my uncles were the exact same way. It seems like time outs and just letting them get it all out when you put them in time out seems to work pretty good. Good luck!!!!
My son will be 4 in July. He has been labelled special needs, so when I see this behavior I think it is his developmental issues. Now I'm looking at the responses below and thinking, "Hmmm... maybe my son isn't so different after all!" So, thank you for opening up this dialogue with so many of these moms so I could see that there are some "normal" bahaviors happening here, even if they are challenging and frustrating and embarrassing to us.
FYI: If you are in the Centerville area, or in Springboro, Beavercreek, Oakwood or Enon, there are groups for stay-at-home moms called MOMS Club (www.momsclub.org). I belong to the Centerville chapter (www.momsclubofcenterville.com) and we are having an Open House on the 20th. It has been a great avenue for support and friendship for me - playgroups, park days, field trips, etc. Just thought I'd mention it in case you are interested.
Best wishes,
S. :)
I'm not sure what to say except that I have a 4 year old and am in the same boat. Someone just recommended the book, "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" by Becky Bailey to me. I'm going to pick up a copy at Borders today.
I have 4 two boys and two girls who all went through what you are going through! Each a little different then the others but all just as horrible! We did the same as you and your husband did but we were also told to stick to a stricked schedule and limit the visual and audio stimuli. no matter how much he wants to watch Bob the builder or backyardagans limit his tv and videos to 30 min. once in the morning and once in the afternoon and try no loud music even the kids cds can be to much. and give him 10-15 min of just run around time in the back yard or some place safe in the house. We were told by a child psychologist that kids today are so over stimulated and they need to decompress, just as much as adults do! He also may want to just talk to you he is just realizing that he can use his words to express what he needs and wants but what he knows is that I have always had to cry or whine to get what I need so Whats going to work now... words or noise? And Always choose your battles if you can ignore some of it he will start to see that if you only respond when he uses his words and uses them nicely then he will see that positive nice behavior will get him attention, and negative loud behavior goes no where!
Good luck
K.
I have a 5 year old and I hope he is starting to grow out of that phase. From what I remeber of my child psych classes when they get that age they like to experiment with thier verbal boundaries. That is what the talking back is about. The rest of the stuff I think is srtuggling between being a baby and a big boy or girl.
That might be the reason. It sounds like from everyone else it is pretty normal. I just wish it wasn't so darn difficult. I think the terrible 2s are just to get us warmed up for the fearsome 4s. I can't wait till that stage is over. I think I will look at the book the other mom suggested I am at my whits end
good luck,
J.
We are having fits at our house also! He is fine MOST of the time but about once a month (or more recently once a week) we have a day that he is in trouble ALL DAY LONG!!! I feel like at the end of the day all I've done is punish him. I force myself to find the good at least once an hour on those days and point it out. I also let him cry...if he is throwing a fit at we are at home I tell him to go to his room and have a fit. I have found recently though that he is actually throwing toys across the room! SO time out is now in the living room. Its frusterating but they are trying to find limits, they want to know how much/far they are allowed to go, so setting rules and keeping them is best right now. (Although it's not always fun! We had a time out at the zoo last week!!! ROUGH DAY!)
Dear K.,
First off RELAX, it's a stage. My oldest son Zach is 3 1/2 and is showing the same behavoir (and has been for the last 6-8 months). I joke that I went to bed one night and my sweet, caring lil man woke up and became a spawn of the devil....LOL
I've tried alot of different things, what has helped for us is structure. I structure his time everyday. We gave him a list on the fridge that shows what to expect. (i.e. Wake up and go potty on the potty, brush teeth, eat breakfast, 30 minutes of reading the books you want, 2 hours of outside time, etc) We have even put the special functions I try and do once a week with him on the schedule (he does play date at the mall on Tues, I take him to the Arcada on Weds (double tokens, double points) if he has been kind to his younger brother, and followed most of the rules.
Structure has done alot for Zach, and curbed 60-70% of the meltdowns. But at this age, there will always be some (I have five younger brothers, the oldest is 7 years younger, the youngest is 18 years younger. I know about raising boys. Being the only girl and the oldest I had to help raise my brothers, and loved every minute after I became older and moved away...LOL)
I hope my info helps. Every child is different, and sometimes you have to try alot of things before you find what works for you and your bundle of joy. But there is hope, just keep trying different things until you find what fits best for your family.
your story sounds JUST LIKE MINE! let me know if anything works for you!!!
