Jealousy or Something Else?

She resents you for snagging the hot, successful brother. Her actions are certainly petty towards you. Take the high road with her. She probably had a crush on her BIL all these years and you come along and marry the guy. Do you blame the poor woman? LOL! If she gets progressively worse then it's time for an intervention. Awkward!

SHe is definitely jealous. She was lusting after him and you got her fantasy man. Ignore her rudeness. When she makes her ignorant, rude comments don't get into a back and forth. That gives her a chance to continue harassing you. For instance, when she made the comment about the ex wife's ring and you started to explain that she was a gold digger. It doesn't matter, he isn't with her, he is with you and she needs to respect you. When those comments come out, just simply ask, "Excuse me, is there are reason you are being rude right now?" I would ask even if there are others in the room simply to point out her behavior and to let her know you are not going to play her simple games.

She needs to grow up before she loses her BFF. You've been more than patient with her. I think it's time for a little sit down with her.

Well... she is jealous, your Husband is mature and is very loyal to you... and attentive. Importantly, he is mature. And he sounds like a good man, you are happy, you are both happy.... so so what what SIL thinks.
But be aware, that she probably will always... have a grudge against you... and arrested development.... or she may try and cause trouble for you... or with your Husband.

To me...she is just the type... that will probably never be happy with what she does have... and her 'unhappiness' is her own doing... since she is always looking over the fence at other people.... she probably makes her husband... very irked, to say the least. That kind of person... is "high maintenance".... emotionally. And very immature.
No one... will ever be able to please her.... and she will make others.... very unhappy....
NO wonder... she is unhappy with her Husband... and they have marital problems.. because SHE IS CAUSING.... all the problems. If I were her Husband.. I would get another wife.

She..... was your "BFF" only until.... you have what she wanted.
That is no friend.

She is nice to your Husband... because, that is who she had always wished... she could have. She sounds flirty... and has no sense of boundaries or respect.
She is a real.... TOXIC.... woman.

I repeat... she is NOT your "BFF."

all the best,
Susan

Shes jealous! And this is such a bummer because how fun would it be to be related to your best friend?? The things she has said to you are very immature and mean. Ignore her, she sounds miserable with herself. And CONGRATS on your beautiful husband and baby to be!!

The next time she says something about his past, give her your best innocent face, and say sweetly, "Why on earth would you bring THAT up?" Then, just wait. The awkward silence will tell her politely that she crossed the line, and you said nothing mean or antagonistic. I don't think you'll have to do that too many times before she either sees how foolish she's acting, or sees you're not being bothered. Either way, you can still be friends.

Jeeeeeeealoooous! You got the hot, rich brother, the nice new house, the big ring and now a baby on the way. She's green with envy and doesn't know what to do with herself. Unfortunately, she's also very immature and can't figure out a way to cope with your good fortune. You're doing nothing wrong, yet she's going to start making you feel guilty for having such a nice life. When that starts to happen, don't fall for it. Everyone deserves happiness, you and her included, but she needs to learn that YOUR happiness shouldn't mean HER unhappiness.

Y'know . . . just because you were roommates back in the last century
doesn't mean that the two of you have continued to have much in common now that we're well into this century.

It appears pretty obvious to me that your former roommate thinks
(whether consicously or un-) that she chose the wrong brother.

And I think she's angry that you've "caught" this winner
and that she's stuck with (what she perceives as) a loser.
How sad.

I'm guessing some of the other moms here will have some wise advice about how to remove yourself from this woman's nasty remarks . . .
while you are pregnant, you want to take good care of yourself and not expose yourself to negative (nasty) input.

Because you're married to brothers, I imagine you'll have to see
one another at least some of the time at family gatherings.

But, the rest of the time, I think you can find other ways
to fill your time productively.

Wishing you a happy healthy baby and a joyful successful marriage.

She wants him. Don't trust her ever.

She's jealous alright. Your husband should let her know that he and you are a package deal and any insult she brings to you is the same as if she were insulting him. He should do more to reject her advances because she's just looking to stir up trouble.

Maybe you should ask her what's up? Not whether she's jealous, but that some of her comments have made you feel like maybe she's unhappy about something and clearing the air might help? Otherwise it might just keep getting worse until the damage is difficult to repair...if you want it repaired?

Either way, how annoying! Friends are suppose to boost you up not tare you down...right? Life is too short for her silly games either way and I hear you are otherwise very happy! Stick with those who add to your joy and sympathize with those who choose a darker path. Her problems are hers alone and now you are pregnant you have a new focus other than her drauma!

Congratulations! Enjoy the blessed event as much as possible:)

She is trying to bring you down - don't let her - she is totally jealous!! And from the sounds of it has all the reason to be - tee hee..... I doubt that your DH would give her the time of day, so I wouldn't be worried about her. Plus, she is just making herself look bad, and I am sure that he notices how she is acting. Good luck dealing with her.....some people are just never happy with what they've got!!

I think you lost a friend but you do not want to admit that.

She may have been your best friend once, but now she is a person to limit contact with. She seems to feel she got the short end of the stick. I feel bad for her husband.

Yes, she sounds jealous! Either she's unhappily married or she'd rather be married to your hubby. Either way, just put some space there! Does she have kids? If she does, she'll probably constantly compare your kids with hers. If not, she'll be jealous that you do. Hang in there and hang out with your other friends!!

Yep, sounds like a jealous woman to me.

P.S. I liked SH's advise.

I'd try to ride it out. She's jealous, she probably knows it, and probably feels bad that she's jealous of the relationship between her best friend and her brother-in-law. She probably always had the twinge of "what if" about the other brother. That's nothing to be ashamed of, especially if she otherwise has a happy, healthy relationship with her husband.

Anyway, in my opinion, not worth losing a best friend over. If she doesn't snap out of it in a few months, then maybe consider saying something. But, unless I'm reading this wrong, your BFF is also your sister-in-law, so she's always going to be there, so tread lightly.

I would like to add that you may need to come to terms with the fact of she used to be your BFF and you may need to keep her toxic behavior at a long distance.

;)

Yes, she's jealous - and immature! Don't let it get to you.

Yup, she is jealous. I wouldn't worry about it though. Hubby chose you. hubby sounds like he is aware of the situation. He has probably even felt her desire for him but he doesn't care...most likely he would never EVER even consider cheating with his own brother's wife...so I wouldn't worry about a thing!

You saw the pictures of the EX's ring...you know she was just being catty and mean, take comfort in the fact that you know the truth and try not to let her get to you.

If I were you, I would be nice to your BIL-her hubby, because from what you state you will probably have him in your life a lot longer than your old ?college? roommate, if she truly feels she landed the wrong brother she is probably very bitter and angry and I am sure that is showing in her marriage.

Sorry sister, it's so hard to loose friends!

Keep distance with her. She might have been best friend for you in the past, but, not now. Then, wait and see what happen.

You hit the nail on the head. She's jealous and there is nothing you can do. she is sad with her life when she has yours to compare it to. Just try your hardest to not feed into it and remind yourself silently when she reacts negatively that she is sad and jealous. I don't think there is really anything you can do other than, overly compliment her, acting a diversion when she says something that might make you uncomfortable..maybe then she will feel guilty that you are so sweet and she might give up being resentful. Until then, enjoy your happiness and try not to worry.

Sounds like she is jealous and maybe has a thing for your hubby.

time to get a new BFF--you guys aren't in highschool anymore.

She wanted him then and probably still wants him now, but you got him instead. I would guess that she also tried to get him in the past and failed, so you getting him has really made her upset. Jealousy would be a mild word for this situation. You are sisters-in-law now so you'll be in each others lives for years. Yikes. I would not trust her, but trust your husband. I would make a life with your husband and child that has this woman on the periphery.