so my husband is military(army) and just recently deployed. this is his 3rd deployment and my 1st. we have a 4month old son togetherand i have a 3 yr old from previous relationship. so my question is, is it normal to be so emotional? i am an extremely emotional person anyways but today its like i cant go more then like 30 mins without completely breaking down and crying. my daughter also does not understand that daddy is gone or what he does for work.
just curious if the emotions im having are normal. never been through this before so its h*** o* me esecially with 2 young kinds.
Thanks in advance for the responses.
thank you all very much for the responses. its sooo good to hear im not alone. i try not to think of him being gone for so long. i just keep telling myself he will be home soon, mainly cuz thats what i tell my daughter when she asks where daddy is. I have been trying to stay calm especially for the kids cuz i know its h*** o* them too. I have been trying ti keep myself busy too so im not thinking about him being gone. I just wanna thank everyone for being so supportive.
Yes, I would say very normal. Hopefully you will develop relationships with other military wives for support.
Yes, deployments are emotional roller coasters. We are on outr third one, and I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. One thing I have learned is to save my tears for when the kids are in bed. It is SO much harder on them to watch mom have meltdowns than if you can keep it together in front of them. (It can be tough, but worth it)
We keep it simple - Daddy is working h*** o* the boat (or in the desert or fill in what ever location that generally describes where daddy is and is a contrast to where you are). He loves us and misses us. When my daughter gets emotional and grumpy/acting out, I ask her "Do you miss daddy?" SHe usually nods, says yes, or just crys. I tell her that I miss daddy too and we hug and talk about all the people who miss daddy (including the baby, the dog, the grandparents 3000 miles away). It is really comforting to know you are not alone.
We learn about the animals that are where daddy is and things like that. This can help a toddler feel connected. If daddy is in the desert, you can grow a cactus . . . things like that.
We do NOT talk about daddy being in a war zone, daddy being bombed, things like that to or infront of the kids. I feel like that is to big of a burden for a toddler to carry. She will learn about all that when she is older, why put her through it now?
Hopefully your FRG is good - ours is a negative catty enviroment so I quit going. You can find support in good friends even if the other spouses on your FRG are not helpful or supportive.
Good luck!!
Hi S.,
I have not read all your responses so I hope I'm not repeating. I'm so sorry you are going thru this, but yes, it is indeed normal. I've been through 2 deployments with my hubby, I was preggo with our first child for teh first deployment and had 2 kids on the second deployment. I know its hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel right now when you are so upset, but it WILL get easier. Time will take the "raw-ness" of you pain away. you're still going to miss him but you will be able to function and get through each day. Try to develop a daily routine for you and your kiddo's, that will help. And communications nowadays are SOOO much better. You can email, skype, video chat, etc. I heard from my hubby almost daily via email and got to chat by phone about once a week. Hold on, Honey, it will get easier. Took me and my other military wife friends about 3 montnhs to get back to "normal" with our emotions after the guys left. God bless you and your family and take care.
Yes. It is normal to be emotional when your soldier is deployed. It is hard to have your soldier not be home and you're worried about him.
Do you have a support system? Other Army wives around that you can talk to? My advice is to stay busy. I know you're already busy with a baby and a toddler but you need adult time. Have some other wives and their kids over for dinner or an afternoon of playtime for the kids. Volunteer on post (FRG, ARC, FRC, etc..).
Good luck! He will be home before you know it.
I am so sorry you are going through this.
You have some great advice here. I wish you well!!!!
Also, I would like to thank your husband for keeping us safe.
And I I would like to thank YOU and your family.
By reading your post, I realize how difficult this is on the military families.
I appreciate what he and all of the other soldiers are doing for us here at home.
I can sit here safe in my home and post this on the computer.
So while I may not have the answers you are looking forward, know that your sacrifice is not EVER going unnoticed or unnappreciated.
Best wishes to you, your husband and your family!
Thank you!!!!
I haven't been through it...almost was...and I felt similarly. I think it's normal. (((hugs)))
Do you live on base/post? If so can you reach out to any other wives/neighbors ... as well they should have a support group or FRG I think it is called. I can understand the difficulties you are facing and I know there are others available to help you get thru this, it's better when you have people that have "been there done that" I want to say it gets easier, but I can not say that for sure.
it is normal. but you are not alone. there is a site called militaryoncesource.com. they offer alot of different help. good luck
It really is so normal and I am so sorry you are going through this. My husband just got back from deployment too and it was really rough while he was gone. I was pregnant and alone, and it was the hardest year of my life.
You will go through your ups and downs, and somedays you will feel like you cant go another minute, and then the next day you could be feeling good and like you can do this.
The thing is you WILL be okay. It sounds ridiculous, I know because when people told me I didnt believe it, but it gets easier with every day that passes. Because it is one day closer to when he will be back.
Send many care packages to him and let him know you love him every chance.
Throw yourself into your family, friends, and projects. It makes things a little easier.
Just take deep breaths and just keep telling yourself, one day closer.
My heart goes out to you through this hard time. Hang in there!
Just wanted to say thank you to your husband, you and your family for making the sacrifice for the rest of us.
Also, part of what you might be feeling is baby blues from post-partem depression. You youngest is only 4 month old and I have known women who didn't have post-partem for a good 6 months and then it kicked in. Lack of sleep from having little ones can make you more emotional, too. Try to get sleep whenever you can and make sure you find a support group, whether friends to talk with in the same situation, a counselor, a group for baby blues, etc. You need it for you to learn coping skills and to help you hold it together for your little ones.
Good luck to you and thank you!
Hugs to you. It is very normal to feel the way you do.
Maybe you could look into some support groups and play groups with other women and men who's spouses are deployed and whose children have parents away on duty.
Hang in there sweetie and know that many of us appreciate the sacrifice your family, all of you, are making for us.
God bless.
Yes its normal! I would be teh same way especially with a 4 month old and a 3 year old. Hugs to you! Call up your friends and family and get strong support system going. Go to church and meet some new people if you are lacking in the friends dept! You can get through this but it will be easier with love coming at you from various directions.
yes emotions and cryingare normal.
my daddy is a hero, a superhero is a kids book that talks about army work in a simple fun way. even after my husband came home it made me emotional
Of course, they are normal. In a way, your life just got turned upside down. You are reacting in the same way thousands of military wives/girlfriends do.
I hope things get easier for you, as time goes on.
Completely normal!! Here's some links to some resources!
http://www.militaryonesource.com/MOS.aspx (has everything but the kitchen sink!)
http://www.sesameworkshop.org/initiatives/emotion/tlc (deployment video here for your little one!)
http://www.mothersofmilitarysupport.momsservices.org/fam_... (describes FRG here)
http://www.legion.org/familysupport
http://www.operationmilitarykids.org/public/home.aspx
http://www.freewebs.com/katearmywife/weblinks.htm http://www.militarywives.com
http://www.militaryspousemagazine.com
http://www.sarahsmiley.com
www.marriedtothearmy.com http://marriedtomyhero.hostclix.com/forum/index.php
http://treatsfortroops.com
http://www.armywivesforums.com
http://www.thankmntroops.org
http://marriedtothearmy.com
http://halfmyheart.com
http://www.inourhearts.org
http://www.armytimes.com/news/2007/07/navy_memorials_070704w
http://www.crystalriverjewelry.com/br12milsup.html
www.dreamsak.com
Also, in WA state, you can access FREE counseling services if you feel you might need some support - via the WA State Dept. of Veterans Affairs. Here's the website:
http://www.dva.wa.gov/ptsd_counseling.html
Here's the provider list:
http://www.dva.wa.gov/PDF%20files/ptsd_contractors%20.pdf
You are eligible for this by being a family member of a war veteran if your husband has been deployed to a war zone.
