How to Stop Night Feeding in 18 Month Old

My daughter was sleeping with us too. However I wasn't breastfeeding. She would wake up and want milk and would not go back to sleep until she got it. I had enough one night and made her sleep in her bed. It went on for a couple of nights of going back and forth. But after the long battle, we won and she is now in her bed. I would say just stay with it and she will eventually go through a night without crying and make it through. If you work, I would suggest starting it on a Friday night. Good luck and remember to stay strong. (IT was hard for me, but I did it.)

I'm afraid there will be a few nights of screaming the house down to stop the night feeding. I suggest that dad be the one to settle her in, not you. And she's way too old to 'need' anything to drink in the middle of the night.

She might act out during this time, but remember that she'll get over it, sleep through the night soon, and it will just be a memory.

Best of luck!

Oh, I have walked in your shoes...we have a beautiful five year old who still sleeps with us and now only needs to snuggle in the crook of one of our arms for a bit each night,but remember those nights. I hope from the deepest place in your hearts you know what security and love you are providing to your daughter, and that this too shall pass but what you are providing will remain in her soul forever. There is no easy answer to this one, but the best advice I have is to try and shorten each latch time by saying the same thing before you lovining pull her off, "all done, Mama needs to go night night and so do you sweetheart" and as you unlatch,let her snuggle into you as she cries. It worked with my daughter to let her keep her hand on my breast and have me say "you can feel". It won't work overnight, but in time it may. I know that does not provide an immediate answer but truly this is about love, connection and night parenting.

Hi,
We are in a similar situation at 26 months, but what we have done is we put our son to bed in his room in his little bed, after nursing, then he brushes his teeth in bed while he is read to, we turn on a 5 minute night light that plays music and when that is off there is no more play, talk, reading, etc. He wakes up some hours later and comes into our room and falls asleep in the crib next to our bed. I explained to him that when it's dark and the moon is up, there is no more nursing and when the sun wakes up, he can have more (he calls it nummy). He raised holy heck too, but I noticed he sleeps longer stretches and his protests are much shorter in duration. If I cave in and allow him to nurse, he wakes up nearly every hour and wants to nurse more or just uses me as a pacifier.
I saw this night light that is an indicator of when your child is "allowed" to get up/wake up. It's called GoodLight. There is a moon to tell them, nope, still time to sleep and a sun that says, yes, it's okay to get up/nurse /play whatever! It was in a Parents magazine and so popular after that they were sold out. They recently contacted me that they had more in stock. I am thinking of getting that to be a clear sign to him whether it's ok to nurse or if he should roll over and go back to sleep. I offered to get one for my pal who has a similar situation, but she said she has a timer for a light and plans to use that. Cheaper solution than the $35 GoodLight light. I just have to figure out how to display it so that he can just glance over and see it. Good luck!
Maybe step one could be you putting the crib or a bed right up close to your bed. I notice my son wakes up much less that way because any stirring on my part or my husband's would wake him up. Then they say if you move it slowly inch by inch towards her room??? I know someone who did that and their daughter wondered why her bed was in the hallway. He said he just shrugged and they just went on...

I understand what you're going through. I just weaned my 16 month old last month. She was only eating at night (before bed, during the night and in the morning). I was so tired from her waking to eat and realized one night when she went back to sleep with just her pacifier how tired I was from the feedings. For us it was easy, though, since I told her at her before bed feeding that 'nana' was all gone. Then when she woke and asked for it, again I told her it was all gone and she understood. She fussed a little (I am familiar with the screaming as I tried to stop the night feedings earlier, but for some reason she was okay this time), accepted her pacifier and went to sleep. She starts the night in her bed and ends up in ours. She loves to snuggle and my hair is her comfort so my husband and I enjoy snuggling and waking with her.

I weaned my son at 21 months and he did not want to stop either. Someone suggested that I put bandaids on my nipples at the times he was used to nursing and explain to him that my nipples are soar and hurt when I nurse him so I need bandaids to protect them. He was very sympathetic and even when he was tired and was falling asleep or waking up and wanting the reassurance of breastfeeding, he would see and feel the bandaids and remember. We transitioned to cuddling instead so he didn't feel abandoned and he was fine with that alone within a couple days. I wore the bandaids for about a week and then didn't need them anymore. Good luck!

J.

Just enjoy it. She will outgrow it soon enough. I have five children and my youngest is 17 months. I am soooo tired of nursing :), but then I look at my 18yo and remember soon he will will just stop and start sleeping.

Just think withing 6 months you'll be sleeping like a baby and so will she.

How about you leave the bed temporarily? We did this with our little boy at about 13 months when I wanted to night wean. Dad stayed and comforted him, and it seemed like that when he realized he wouldn't get to nurse, it wasn't worth it for him to wake up. After maybe about a week, he was sleeping through the night. He did cry, but Dad was there with him to calm him down and give him love.
Good luck!

I hate to say this but i only have a little tid bit of information for you. I am in the same situation with my 27m old daughter and i'm ready to be done too. i did find an article by dr. jay gordon on night weaning in the family bed (try a search on his website). it is something i will try after my hubby comes home from deployment in late feb. basically it gives a strategy but it is definitly the not the easy answer that i was looking for. i guess we are in for a lot of screaming down the house and at least a few sleepless nights. good luck momma and let me know if you have any success. oh the new bed is what we did for my daughter around 18m also and she goes to sleep there (nursing of course) but is waking up around 2 hrs looking for me so then she comes to bed with me.

night weaning is really hard, especially as they get older. without going into too much detail i will say that i prefer to do the dirty work myself. i feel like if i am the one with them telling them "no more nanas till morning" "sleepy time now" etc., then they will know that they are not losing my closeness, just the breast aspect of my closeness. for us, it took more than a few nights of screaming. every night got better and you have to be ready b/c it is not cool to back down on this one. once you start, you should do it b/c it is hard for them! make sure to offer the breast during the day maybe a little extra and i would not try to force into own room at this point. remember, it is weaning, not cold turkey fast-track to independence.

My 19 month old just started sleeping through the night in his bed a couple weeks ago (for the most part, anyway). He was starting the night in his crib but would only stay there for 3-4 hours before waking up and wanting to get in our bed, nursing just like you described. Over the holidays we spent the night at my mom's and he slept on a mattress on the floor there, and suddenly slept 9 hours! I was in shock! So I decided to go ahead and turn his crib into a toddler bed, and sure enough he started sleeping through the night. Another that helped was having him wake up earlier in the morning (he frequently slept in til 9 if he was in bed with me). If he's up by 7 am, he sleeps much better at night because he's more tired.

Anyway, that's my long way of saying the new bed might help. And also, as you can see, we didn't really do much to encourage him to stay asleep, I think he was just finally ready on his own. Good luck to you, this stage will pass and when it's over it won't seem like it was very long at all. It's my personal belief that if a child knows you're available if needed, they will be secure enough to sleep through the night in their own time.

K.:
I'm not sure what you might have already tried, but I watch Nanny episodes a lot and the Nanny has a great method that seems to work (but it is TV and it does seem to work with my daughter when she tries to crawl in with us). She starts by putting the child in bed at her usual hour of bedtime with a routine of some sort (my daughter has to clean her room, feed the dog, get undressed, take her bath, brush her teeth, sit on the potty and then get dried and her pjs on, then she gets her story or songs and kissed goodnight). This takes sometimes 1/2 hour or more depending on how messy the room and how big the story. The bath is for cleaning rather than playing so she doesn't spend a long time in there. After you tuck them in and say goodnight, you walk away.
Then if they get up (either for water or potty or to crawl in with you), you immediately take them back to bed tell them "It's bed time, Goodnight". Then if they get up again, you just say "Goodnight" after taking them to bed. If they get up after that, you just take them into bed without ever saying another word. You may have to repeat this last one many many times the first couple of nights and may not sleep yourself for the first couple of nights, but eventually they will sleep in their bed. It has worked for our daughter, but she was always a pretty good sleeper in her own room to begin with. She has a lot of night terrors or nightmares and that's when we have to incorporate this method.
I hope this helps and good luck.
S.
stay-at-home mom of 3.5 yr old girl.

Here's something to try, I hven't done it so I'm not sure how well it works, but it would be what I would try.
Get a bed and put it next to yours on the floor (toddler bed, or crib mattress), make it as comfortable as you can, so that it feels like mom and dad's bed, put her to sleep how you normally would and once she's asleep, put her into the new bed that is next to you. When she wakes up to feed, nurse her and put her back to sleep, but move her to her bed. Do this until you feel like she's ready for the next step which is no nursing, and just some mommy comfort, and back to bed. Etc. if that works, than slowly move the bed to her room. So maybe she takes naps in her new bed only, than she starts off in the bed when she first goes to sleep, etc. etc. See what works for her, you are the only one who knows your child, so take it slow and make it comforting for her. It might take a few weeks, but it will be worth it in the end.

My first son, slept in my bed and/or in a bed in my room until he was 18 mths old and than we moved and I just told him he slept in his room now and he was fine with it. he is now 2 1/2 and he hasn't been back to my bed or bedroom since. However when my other son was born, there was a transistion period and we sometimes slept with him in his twin bed or layed with him until he fell asleep.

My youngest now 1, slept in the bed with me until about 7 mths when he weaned himself from nursing. I kept him in the room with me and would pull him into bed with me when he woke up, but recently transistioned him to his own room and crib and he's been sleeping for 7 hours straight 4 out of 7 nights a week.

Every child is different....just work with a transistion, rather than cold turkey so that she's comfy.

Good luck
K.

oh and I'm not 100% sure that she might not need something more to eat, my 1 year old still takes a night bottle a few times a week because he's hungry. If it was for comfort, he wouldn't be taking an entire bottle. Sometimes kids need to eat a little more to get thru the night. Maybe try giving her a snack or a glass of milk before bed to help her thru the night.

I went through this except mine were 2 & 4 by the time we made a change. I was tired at work & threatening to go sleep elsewhere long before I was able to get my husband's support on the issue. I finally told him we are moving the kids to their own beds. I had went to a doctor appointment with a client and the doctor had talked about how to get kids moved into their own bed. I had to sit with them, but after about two nights the four year old was asking for her own bed. We just stayed with them & let them know we were there. Setting up a better night time routine was also key. Began some reading at night, lowered lighting. I am still nursing the 2 1/2 year old, but she sleeps all night now. At about 18 months I had to wean her from the 4 am feeding. She would wake and want to nurse. We offered her water. At first she threw it back at us, then she began to drink it and then in a few more days she began to sleep through the night.

My daughter who is 28monthes does too. I am trying to fix it. She likes touching breast but doesn't like breast milk in her fingers so when she searches for breast I have put little water on my nipple. So far she has hated getting wet in her fingers and she stops touching my breast. I hope it work for your daughter.

Hi K.,

I had a similar situation with my oldest daughter (now almost 5). She was 100% sleep-trained to sleep in her crib for the night from about 11 months on, but I'd bring her back to bed with me if she woke up early in the morning. She wanted to breast-feed at that time, too. While I knew it was more to soothe her to go back to sleep than anything else, it went on until she was almost 19-months-old, when I decided just to stop breast-feeding altogether (one of my hardest decisions).

I was determined not to let that happen with my youngest (now 2). She stopped breast-feeding on her own at 10-months, but she'd ask for her comforting "ba-ba" when she awoke during the middle of the night. After her 1st birthday, I resorted to letting her cry it out and consistently didn't give in. I'd sit in our rocking chair and wait for her to climb in my lap for a cuddle before going back to bed, while she was on the floor throwing a tantrum. It took a lot of time and patience--and MANY attempts, as colds and teething got in the way a few times--but she finally realized that she didn't need it, too.

You're definitely NOT alone, and you DO have the right idea. For extra words of encouragement, my pediatrician always tells me, "It'll be tough at first, but you CAN and WILL get through it." Good luck!

First I wanna say that keep in mind, all that milk from the night nursing (which I'm sure you know she doesn't need for nourishment at this point) is just sitting there on her teeth & will eventually cause problems w/her teeth....cavaties, tooth decay & possibly more. So, for the sake of your daughter's teeth & your wallets, try to stop. Second, there are so many therories out there to get kids to sleep so I suggest you & your husband pick one togther that will work for all 3 of you &, here's THE most important part....stick w/it! Be 100% consistent. If you want her outa your bed then it's up to you & hubby to present a united front, ge her in her own bed, be strong & do not waiver. Best of luck!

You need to wean her 1st off of the night feedings, sounds like a source of comfort, give her a pacifier. The pacifier will help her transition, it is probably more of the sucking than the actual food. Once this is done transition her into her new toddler bed. You will probably have to let her scream. She will get up over and over, but keep taking her back to her bed. Make sure you have a routine in place so she knows it's time for bed and don't forget the hugs and kisses. I am against the cry it out method, but your daughter is old enough to handle it and trust me, she won't just be screaming, she will be getting up. You have to stay consistent and it might be a night or 2 nights of no sleep. Plan for it. Currently my 3 year old sleeps wonderfully in his own bed, has since 1 1/2 years and my 9 month old sleeps with us. We are about to put her back in her crib. I will miss her sleeping with us, but it is time. Good luck and stay consistent, once you decide to wean her and then move her, stay true to that decision. Good luck

It's no wonder sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, isn't it?! I went through this with my now 5 year old, and am currently right where you are with my 14 month old.

I night weaned my oldest at about 20 months because I just couldn't continue functioning on no sleep. We used to sign with him, so after he did his before bed nursing we would say 'night night, nursey...see you when the sun comes up' and use all the appropriate signs. Then, when he woke up looking to nurse, we would just remind him he could nurse when the sun came up. It was 2 nights of crying, but my husband and I were there with him. We discovered he enjoyed having his toes rubbed, and for a long time, whenever he woke up he would say 'toes'.

I don't remember him being out of sorts during the days after we did this. He was his happy self.

Once we did this I actually enjoyed sleeping with him even more, and he still loves to cuddle.

If you try night weaning, but you just can't deal with your babe crying, then it's probably not the right time. You will know when you're definitely done. Just try to get in a nap, let the housework go, and make big pots of soup you can eat over and over! Happy mothering!

Dear K.. I don't actually have any suggestions about the future, I just want to congratulate you about the past. I am sure you have given your daughter a lot of confidence and feeling of safely in this world and even a feeling that she is somewhat in control of her surroundings. I can see that it is hard on you and your husband right now, but know that despite how tired you are, your daughter is doing great and you have done well as a mom. She will grow out of it and want more independence and the new bed and her growing interest in it will help. In many countries, the family bed is the norm, just isn't that common in our country. Good luck with trying some suggestions that sound good to you...N.