I have a friend who needs help financially. I more than willing to help, but I have some concerns. The friend's husband is a recovering addict, and he spends most of the money. They have 2 kids and are expecting their 3rd soon. I want to give them something (especially for Christmas), but I don't know how to go about doing it. I would send them money, but I'm scared that it will get spent in the wrong places. I would mail them the stuff they need, but shipping is CRAZY expensive... since they live completely across the country. We're in NC, and they're in Washington state. What would you do?? ANY and all help would be VERY appreciated. Just forget it? Or send money? Or send less items but ship the stuff to them??
Order it to be sent directly from the store and receive free shipping.
Whatever you do don't send cash though.
Ask her to register for baby and kid stuff online and buy online to have it shipped there directly. Most companies ship for free if you order a certain $ amount.
Good luck!
You can always buy something from an online store and just have it shipped to them instead of yourself. Like target, or walmart for example.. just put in your address for the billing, and the shipping address, theirs. It would be better than going to the store, buying something, and then having to ship it yourself. . . just an idea.
You say her husband is a recovering addict.
If he's clean, why is sending money an issue?
Is he just bad with money?
Or are you afraid a cash gift will be used for drugs?
If his addiction is active, you do realize that anything you send (including gift cards) will be sold immediately by him for pennies on the dollar to get cash, right?
If your friend can't be trusted to keep hold of & use gift cards correctly, then the other option is to pay some bills--water, light, gas, etc. and do the transactions directly with the utility companies.
Send gift cards- Babies r us, Target, Walmart, etc..
How 'bout gift cards to stores where she can buy the stuff you know she needs? Last I checked, dope dealers don't accept gift cards.
:)
I agree with Smash - buy online - today is a day with tons of free shipping!
Just let your friend know a box is coming and ask her to wrap it or just put it aside and open the outer box on Christmas morning.
Either do nothing because sometimes rescuing people is really enabling them
or
send her something you know she needs. Like diapers. Don't send cash as you will set yourself up to be annoyed at how she spends it. Give something you can feel good about and not harbor resentments. I don't believe in giving money unless you can let go of how it is used. A gift of money is just that. A gift, and there should be no strings attached.
Do NOT send them money. Send them items for the baby. Go on Amazon.com and take advantage of their free shipping and have it shipped directly to your friend.
Is your friend responsible enough that if you mailed a gift card she would spend it wisely? Or is there a chance for the recovering addict to get his hands on it?
Can you ask her directly how his recovery is going and what the chances are of him honoring gifts that she receives?
I was in a tough spot when I left my abusive husband. My best friend sent me a gift card to Alice.com. It was wonderful! You get free shipping if your order is over $50 and I got 15% off for being a new customer. I got dried fruit, granola bars, Tide, shampoo, dish soap, deoderant, Biz, Borax, trash bags and all kinds of things. It all arrived within 3 days and was extremely helpful.
When it comes to situations like this realize that any cash will not be a loan but a gift. She will probably never be able to pay you back. I agree with previous posts here - buy online and have it sent to their home. another option is to send her a giftcard for WAlmart or a grocery store nearby. You can do a google search to find which stores are closest to her home so you can get the gift card that will be most easily used. If you don't have a local version of that store you can call the store and buy the giftcard with a credit card, have them send it to you and include it in your Christmas card to her.
You're trying to do a good thing and you can get it done. You'll be blessed by doing so.
Hi,
I have a friend that is in the same position. It drives me nuts how she spends her money...
I don't know if Amazon would work for you. You could do the free trial to Amazon Prime (for free shipping) and send her some things that way.
Good on you for wanting to help!
I would go online and purchase some items for them and have the items delivered either directly to them or to the store location closest to them. Site to store is usually free I think.
Send them a gift card for a grocery store where they live.
do gift cards to specific stores that way the money can only be spent in that way...
I agree with those who say to buy online.
Also, contact the Salvation Army local to their area and see if there are any programs they can sign up for that will help with utility bills, holiday meals, and gifts for kiddoes.
Best of luck!
♥
C. Lee
If you really want to send items/gifts, you can find what you want to buy and order it from their area locally to save on shipping costs. That's what I do when I send flowers. Instead of using a national chain like FTD or 1-800-Flowers, I look up florists in the town where I want them sent and order an arrangement from them. Saves a TON of money.
