How Do You Feel About Kids Having iPads?

I think it's completely unnecessary. i don't believe in pricey electronics for preschoolers. I have two teenagers, and I can't afford to even consider an ipad for either of them. Buying such expensive gifts for tiny tots just sets up levels of expectation and entitlement for later, they want more and more.
As for the little boy being very possessive over his ipad, that's normal for kids. They don't to share their toys. If it's his, then it's his and other people shouldn't be using it, it's not a family ipad even though I think it's ridiculous that he has one, and even more ridiculous that his parents permit him to download inappropriate music and don't monitor that more carefully.

We have an iPad that my son can use, but it is the family iPad. Sorry, but I think parents can be hugely irresponsible with electronics when they just give them to the kids. They are tools and need to be treated that way. His parents are on a different planet and it is going to bite them on the butt one day.

The issue is not the electronics, though, it's the behavior and what his parents are allowing. It's their fault. The kid is only 4 and learns from them.

If they don't appreciate their gifts, give them a little cash next time. If they complain, then they don't get anything. Gifts are gifts, and unless you give them flannel shirts they better be at least decent about it. Sigh.

I don't personally let my kids have electronics. My oldest (6) reads to the other two in waiting rooms and the car etc. They can buy them when they get older with their OWN money (in moderation). That's neither here nor there. Personally, people whose kids are ALLOWED to scream at people, and who are ALLOWED to show disapproval at gifts would NOT be getting any gifts from us. Or if I felt obliged to get something, I wouldn't feel a bit bad about whatever I picked if it was thoughtful. And my blame would be SQUARELY on the parents for raising entitled brats if I decided to give to someone nicer instead. I'd also find NICER people to spend Christmas with. For real. You don't HAVE to give them anything. Who cares if they get mad.

I think your question should be re-titled "how do you feel about spoiled kids with no rules?" Or "how do you feel about parents who let their kids do whatever they want?"
Honestly, what you're describing isn't about kids & electronics!
It's about poor parenting.

I know small children who have iPads who are perfectly lovely children. I don't think it's the iPad and electronics that are the problem...it's the sense of entitlement your nephews' parents handed them along with the iPads and other "stuff".

My kids each have their own iPods and laptops (they use them for HW assignments as well as watching funny stuff on YouTube) and all sorts of other stuff that would probably qualify them as spoiled rotten. However, they would also LOVE suckers with scorpions in them and would CERTAINLY know how to show their appreciation graciously for them!

This isn't about technology, your nephew is a monster and his parents are perpetuating it.

I'm all for the wheel, electricity, international travel, a brand new car when my daughter was 15 and a college education but my 19 year old daughter is the most grateful, appreciative young woman on the planet and was even at four.

UUUGH!!! Don't get me started....I have always hated the fact that technology is so ever present in our childrens lives. It is over used and the cause of so many problems. An iPad is given to a 4 year old in order to keep him preoccupied so he won't be heard.....no other reason.

I totally 100% disagree with it. Your 4 year old nephew sounds like he is going to be a fright. They let him scream about it? Shame on them.

Boy would I pull the plug...

Dawn

Well, we aren't made of money, so our kid gets to use my laptop. WHEN we choose, and WHAT we choose. He's five, so it's our job to be responsible for what he views or which game he plays. (Starfall, and *very* occasionally!) And if we had the money, still, no.

Admittedly, we are low-tech family. I think computers and technology/media are fine and have their place, but they don't come before real hands-on playtime, art, or playing outside or homework or getting time snuggling on the couch, reading together. Computers and/or media are usually our last option.

As for your nephews--if their parents raise the bar and are spoiling them with all sorts of expensive stuff, don't worry about pleasing them. If they are so ungrateful as not to care, do not sweat it. Just get them what *you* feel is appropriate. (I think a four-pack of playdough is more appropriate for a four year old than an iPad, but what the hell do I know? I've only worked with young kids for 20 years. ;)

Wow ! That is sad !
A four yr old should be playing w/ toys and other kids !

My kids got tech "stuff" when they were double digits. It gave them something to look forward to.

We always had a family computer, but, in a rm where I could see it.

I don't think expensive electronics are necessary all bad at a young age, but the way your nephew acts is a completely different deal.

Screams at you? And his mother does nothing? When they throw your gifts aside, with an "oh," does their mother ever correct them and tell them to say thank you? Frankly, it sounds like their mother is the one at fault.

If my nephews were ever that rude about gifts I gave them, I would give them a card the following year. When they asked why they only got a card, I would tell them they didn't appreciate or thank me for the thing they received last year, so I thought I wouldn't bother.

These kids sound pretty bratty. If their mom is your sister, and you have a good relationship with her, maybe you can suggest that she start teaching them some manners.

And I happen to really like "Sexy and I know it," but how sad that that little boy isn't experiencing the sweetness of youth. Shouldn't they be listening to Twinkle twinkle little star? at that age?

No way! My kids do not have iPads. They have refurbished computers in their rooms because Dad was being nice. I waited a while for them to have tvs in their rooms too. I think we waited until after they were 4. Oldest doesn't even have a cell phone yet and he's 11.

I personally hate all the materialism. I can imagine how hard it is to buy for your nephews. It's sad. I remember my grandparents used to buy me clothes for Christmas. I was disappointed at the time, but it was practical and I respect what they did now.

Listen, I don't have an iPad and I'm 39! I use a regular computer, not even a laptop. I don't have any of the latest gadgets. I am perfectly happy without them.

No Way would I allow any child to have their own Ipad..

It's not about being able to afford it or not. We have one child and can "afford" to buy him anything he wants. But we don't for many reasons. One, kids need fresh air, love, and stimulation that does not include extended screen time. Two, what kind of expectations are you setting for your child by giving them expensive things at an early age Three, they need to learn to entertain themselves and accept that yes, sometimes life is boring. They SHOULD be bored in the car. It breeds creativity and tolerence.

So no, I do not think a 4 year old or even a 6 year old should have their own I pads. Either they can occasionally uses the parents or they have a basic computer for schoolwork and sometimes games or surfing the web.

How do I feel about kids and iPads? My 7 year old uses mine. Only I can download stuff (he doesn't have password). We are getting him a Kindle Fire for Christmas. I have no problem with it--as long as its use is limited and monitored.

However, spoiled kids are another issue...Spoiled kids do not come from wealthy homes. Spoiled kids come from parents with little/no restrictions, rules, etc. You should gift your nieces/nephews with what you can afford. Maybe movie tickets?

My Husband has an iPad.
It is a "family" iPad.
It does not "belong" to my kids (who are 6 and 10), but we all use it, including me. My kids are responsible and not addicted to it.
We have had it for at least a couple of years.
My kids have never had tantrums over it or over not being able to use it.
We have rules about it.
They know what they can or cannot do, with it. They are kids. Not adults.
They know that.

We... DO NOT LET THE KIDS DOWNLOAD ANYTHING. Period.
It is for us, as the adult, and as the parent... to decide, IF we will download something or not, for the kids. My kids know that "rule." They also get taught at school, about internet/computer safety and dangers.
They are informed. And we inform them too. As parents.

To download things, there is NO way, that a child should do that. Because... they do not know what an app may cost, or if it is free. Unless your nephew can competently read very well... and KNOW that asking permission of his parents, is needed.
The parent, should be... supervising what the heck is downloaded onto the iPad. And, a parent can put a "lock" and password on the device, so that, the kids cannot download things willy nilly.
We do that.

You, are not obligated to get your nephews expensive gadgets for Christmas. That is the parents problem or responsibility. And if the kids are "spoiled" well, the parents have to deal with them.
There is no way, I'd get my own kids $250 dollar sneakers nor the newest video game system. That is an ADULT, parental, decision. Not a kid's decision.

As I said, my kids are 6 and 10. They do not have their "own" expensive gadgets. They have hand-me-downs. My Husband is a tech guy as a hobby and as a job... but so he sometimes has older versions of Apple gadgets, that he will give to our kids. BUT... again, there are RULES about it... AND, they always know to ask us FIRST... for any games or apps they want on it. AND they cannot just download anything themselves. WE as the parents, do that. If we know that the app they like is kid appropriate.

Don't let your nephews, dictate, the money amount or type of gift you get them. They are KIDS. I certainly would not keep up that "habit" and their sense of entitlement.
If the parents don't teach them rules or appreciation or standards about what their kids get or what they can do or not, well... then you have kids that won't respect rules and will expect inappropriate things.

Just because your Nephews are "spoiled"... that does not mean they have to put you and your Husband in an awkward position on what to buy them. Their parents... are responsible for that. Not you. Don't let your Nephews control you, or how you gift them.

Get them books.
Or adopt an animal from your local zoo, for them, if your local Zoo has programs like that.
Do something non-materialistic.

Your Nephews, are what the parents are allowing... them to be.
That is not, your problem.

Remember: They are kids. YOU are the adult.

I think it is wasteful and little kids shouldn't have stuff like that. I feel that kids should be kids. Playing outside, physically doing things. I think this is a slippery slope and can create problems with obesity and general laziness. I am ok with it at a much older age, but not in a four year old.

I wouldn't have gotten my daughter an iPad at 4. Hell. she's 22 now, doesn't have an iPad and if she wants one, will have to buy it herself.
Just give your nephews iTunes cards.

I don't have an iPad (or similar) and there is no way my 4 year old is having one.
I am soooo old-fashioned...

I think it's absolutely ridiculous. IMO a child should not be allowed to have these types of gadets (they are NOT toys) until they are old enough and responsible enough to use them correctly, safely, and take care of them.

The 4 year old you're describing sounds like a teenager to me. Your family will only put you in an awkward financial position if you allow it. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses, just be SMART and teach your kids to be appreciative and thankful for what they have and are given. We have an IPad, but it belongs to my husband and I...our children may use it with permission if they're careful and respectful with it.

I recently came across this link and liked the ideas given.
http://www.daveramsey.com/christmas/blog/id/7-ways-to-go-... More
www.daveramsey.com

My kids have some cousins who always got "cooler" and more expensive gifts than they did, I think that's just part of life.
I'm sorry your kids don't appreciate what they are given, and what they have. But you know, this is something you will always be dealing with, whether it's an ipad, or a phone or a brand new car (yep, we've seen some kids get THAT for their 16th birthday!)
Do you always open presents together, as an entire, extended family?
My kids have always opened their presents at home on Christmas morning, BEFORE going to the big family get together.
Maybe you can start doing that, if you and your kids don't feel like you're getting/giving enough.

I think people go way overboard spending that kind of money on electronics for young kids. No way in heck would I buy 4 year old an iPad. My GD is 10 and the ONLY electronic device she has is a DS. I think electronics inhibit imagination and imagination is the first step to invention!

If I could afford it I would buy everyone in our family an ipad. My four, six and seven year olds all use our ipads. Have you seen the Solar Walk app? It's great!

Mind you, my children don't have passwords or the authority to buy downloads.

I was just talking to my sister and telling her not forget to introduce my almost 3 year old nephew into technology.

Good balance is what is important and only you can provide that at such an early age.

My 7 year old does a lot of school work on my iPad and plays and or studies with it nearly everyday. At kindergarten, the school started introducing her to the iPad and she can work any computer better than my mother who will probably never acquaint herself with technology.

wouldn't happen here.
but then, i don't have my own iPad!
khairete
S.

Our 5 year old and 9 year old just got tablets from Staples that were on clearance. They were $150ish each. We have put this off for over a year. Their younger brother and sister got their own Kindle Fires last year for Christmas.

The kids play on our smart phones and do get into trouble with youtube.com. When you go to mine craft stuff there are lots of "Chat" options where you can get into role playing and see all kinds of videos by clicking on the links to the right of the mine craft stuff. So I have found them watching not so nice video's of a black man and a white woman and they were seriously bumping uglies.....

So you can imagine that no matter what we decided to get the kids there had to be awesome parental controls on them. These tablets have no access to the internet without our code. They have one screen that comes up and they cannot leave that screen or go online. They can only play the games on the kids page. I have to go in and put in hubby's code to get to the market so I can download a game for them. Then it has to be put in the menu for the kids page and approved. Then moved to the kids page.

It is nearly impossible for them to break this code, they are smart and I know they will eventually figure it out, they always do.

I have the best behaved kids in the world now by the way, all I have to do is say "Do you want to lose your tablet for an hour?" and they comply with what ever it is I am wanting them to do. So far they have lost it a couple of times for up to 3 hours but they earned it back by cleaning house.

So all in all it has been a good experience for us. They have had them about a week and a half. They are pretty nice too. I like them and hope the kids can continue to go by the rules which are they cannot use them out of adult supervision, if they take them to their rooms or elsewhere they lose them for an hour. They cannot use them until their hands have been washed with soap and rinsed then dried very well or they lose them for an hour. No need to get food or dirt all over the screen. They must not shake or toss them around, that's mostly for the 5 year old since he has anger issues. He will lose it for an hour if it appears he is getting too agitated.

We enforce the rules immediately and do not waver. He has lost his far more than she has lost hers. She wouldn't clean the litter box, which is her chore, so she lost her tablet for 2 hours. The cat is a living breathing creature and not taking care of it is serious business in this house. Other than that incident she has done very well. He forgets the rules and loses it a couple of times per day. He can try to earn it back but I like having him wait it out so he can learn patience and also learn to try to focus a little better.

Its according to your values. A computer savvy kid may not be as socialyy adept as a kid who has to go outside to play.

I did not even KNOW what an ipad was until this past August 2012...

So, no way would I buy one for a kid or grandkid.

Seriously? An IPad for a 4 year old! How will the parents top that the next year and year after that?I have an IPad that I let my six year old play it from time to time under my supervision. We did buy him his own Kindle last Christmas. I was hesitant about it, but saw the educational apps, reading apps, etc. He is limited to the time he can use his electronic devices. I'm no expert, but think there is more educational value than watching tv. These devices are interactive. I like to play games with my son or read with him on the Kindle or IPad. I am about everything in moderation. I would buy your nephew a board game that is age appropriate and that can be played with his friends, siblings or his parents. It sounds like his parents let him call the shots. I have two grown children as well as a first grader. Children need their parents to give them structure and guidance and limitations along with their time and love. You are a wonderful Aunt for being concerned about his age appropriate "not toys."

I cannot even tell H. in a politely way what I really think about encouraging a little kid to be spoiled at that age already! Look around how many choices kids have now days, and how many mommies complained every single day that they cannot control their kids,...and think of those old days when kids used to play with cars and dolls, and how good they became as grown ups. That generation is almost lost and they were outstanding!...
Sorry..not in this house....

I don't have a problem with young kids owning things if the parents have money. The only reason my daughter doesn't have an iPad is we can't afford it. However, I would not let them download anything.

I understand about the songs. My 11 year old loves both of those songs, even though I don't allow her to have them on her iPod. They play them on the radio. It's sad.

Your nephew sounds like a brat. You should stop trying to buy him cool gifts. Get him socks instead.

how can he download or buy anything when he needs a password do it it?
my kids got ipads for their 8th birthday. They know these things are fragile, and are grateful, but really it was not up to them. I wanted to get it for them, so they can watch their shows on netflix, download nook app and read books, play games, listen to music etc.

Unfortunately you can't change your in-law's family. I personally would have a hard time buying anything for them knowing that it wouldn't be valued. They could at least be taught to fake it. I guess I would do what you're ending up doing - buy them something inexpensive and useful or what you might enjoy. As time goes by, you might consider getting out of the gift giving, and just enjoy the holiday without exchanging gifts because the situation is not likely to improve.

As for having electronics for kids that young, that's pretty over the top. My kids are 10 and 7 1/2 and we're buying them smaller tablets, but they have not been begging us for them. I think they think they're so expensive that we would never buy them (despite the fact that we can afford an iPad). This is the reason - they are not expecting it and will truly be thankful for them. That being said: they must pay for any parent-approved apps they want (they will get a $10 coupon to start), the tablets will still be on weekend-only use during school and limited in time at that, if the kids' behavior gets in the way, the tablets will be on restriction. This is what we do with screen time of any sort.

4 seems a little young, especially with an expensive breakable electronic. My 5 yo nephew has had a DS, a DVD player and laptop since he was 3. He also has some behavior issues. Last year I bought my 5 yo and 8 yo Nintendo Ds for Christmas. My then 8 yo got a kindle as a special gift (which she barely uses btw). She has asked for an Ipad and the answer is no. She also wants a cell phone and a lap top, claiming all her friends have them. My answer is save your money.

What is interesting is that her school sent home a paper last week that 2 classes (not hers thank goodness) are going to pilot a program letting them take their Ipads and Iphones to school to learn on. This is elementary school. So I guess lots of kids have them now.

To be honest, it sounds like there are more issues in that family than just the four year old with the iPad. You need not feel you need to compete with other family members who give your nephews expensive presents. Their parents should be instructing them to thank everyone equally, though; that is just the gracious thing to do.

OK that said, I see no reason why a four year old needs an iPad of his or her own. Yes, they are freaking cool. Yes, there are a ton of very good educational apps out there. Yes, I personally would love to own one, and yes, my 3.5 year old sees the ads for the iPad apps on Nick Jr and Disney Jr and has been BEGGING us for one. Not happening, even if we could afford it.

Even if one can find a reason to justify a small child having his own iPad, the seemingly unfettered internet access seems more of a concern to me. That's something you might want to politely bring up with his parents if you feel you can.

I'm a wee bit old-fashioned. Make that a LOT old-fashioned, and I am not going to apologise for it.

My son has had a Laptop and iPod since he was 2, but the laptop stayed in a drawer until this year, and I learned how to use the iPod, and used it as a tool to help him sleep when he was four. I only put kid friendly songs on it(Classical music being his favourite genre by choice). I have an extensive music collection, ranging from the Beatles to Zepplin, and he's thus far chosen mostly classical and showtunes(like from KungFu Panda, Speed Racer, etc. If it's got foul language or suggestive themes, it was not allowed in my house(I've forbidden my friends and their kids to bring their mp3 players in my house if it had that stuff on it, for example, Lady GaGa or Eminem). If he asks me for a song that's objectionable, I refuse, and let him tantrum it out of his system. I've put all of my "stickered' albums into a box until he's older.

I REFUSED to let anyone bully me into giving my son tech before I am ready for him to have it. He has books(which I always welcome) to read, art supplies to be creative with, etc. He has asked me for things like DS and iPad, and I have the same answer for him.

"Do you really NEED it? Can you do some of the things with it with what you already have? Are you willing to let go of some of your things to make room for it?"

He has a simple Laptop with a nice hard drive. It was reconditioned, and a new hard drive installed. He has Storia on it for books, and several HO games that have logic puzzles and engaging storylines on it(Sherlock Holmes Lost Case Files for example). He also has all of the Angry Birds games and Bad Piggies on it. I've put Plants vs.Zombies on it(the ADA, PopCap and EA games gave it away instead of candy for Halloween this year).

I disabled internet access on it, and the only time it goes online is if I update his games, or he's earned a new game. It has a DVD Player in it, I also let him watch his movies on it if he wants a treat. I also severely limit his time on it based on behaviour and routine completion(not that I ever need to tell him to do his reading and homework!).

I have to say that most of his friends are impressed that he has a laptop(which seems to somehow trump a DS, XBox 360, Wii, iPad, a cell phone, and an iPod Touch), and are further shocked to learn he has no other gadgets other than the mentioned iPod which plays at night his daily dose of Joshua Bell and other niceties.

I think kids are becoming too tech spoiled. The old school way of working for things seems to have less value in this day and age of gadgets and gizmos. For some youngsters, tech has even gotten in the way of proper manners, grammar, and learning capabilities. I think I'll keep my son low-tech as long as I can.

Just my 2cp.

My 10 year old has an Ipad. It is all hers. We did not get it for her. Her grandparents did. They do not usually overindulge my kids, but last Christmas they gave each of my girls a one time generous gift. So we allowed them to have it. Didn't get much warning from the grandparents. They announced this to DH and I AND our kids together when we were all out at a restaurant. Anyway, my older DD chose a snowboard, so she does not have an Ipad. My kids are aware it was a one-time deal, and they do not expect that kind of "big ticket gift" all the time. That is WAY more of a gift than we have gotten them for any holiday or birthday. They are appreciative. They are not allowed to download inappropriate music or content. Or scream at us when we tell them it is time to turn it off. We monitor. We have rules. The Ipad does not leave the house without DH or myself supervising. We limit screen time, especially on school nights. Chores have to be done first on Saturdays. We have removed screen time as consequences for bratty behavior. They learn pretty quickly. I'm sure my kids would have loved this at age 4 too, but it isn't something I would have ran out and bought for them any more than I would put a TV in their bedrooms. It's a balancing act. My kids love electronics. They aren't evil, they can complicate life quite bit though, if parents aren't constantly vigilant.

My son has one and he's 6. He only uses it for long car trips or if he wants to look up animals or science stuff. He really doesn't play games on it at home.

We have an Ipad and an Epad (Asus) that both of my kids (ages 3.5 and 5) get around on easily. There are a lot of neat games and other educational apps on there for them. However, we have to be super careful about what they can get into innocently. YouTube is the worst. It is great to go to a favorite PBS, Nick Jr. or Disney show to watch, but one false move and you can end up in a really inappropriate area fast. It is also easy for them to buy tokens and things for apps on some of those games! My husband has put a lot of blocks on some, but it's a constant battle.
We do try to monitor their use on it too. Some days they want to play on it all day long and others not.
In the case of your nephews that sounds like a monster problem in the making. If they aren't going to be gracious for the gifts you give them, perhaps they should not get any more gifts from you.....awkward problem solved or at least the statement is made. :-)
HTH,
A.

My almost 3 year old and 4.5 year old love my ipad. They don't use it all the time, but I have bought them lots of aps. For xmas, we are getting my daughter her own tablet. We need three "computers," so my daughter, son and I can all access media at the same time --we stream a lot. I will not be buying her an ipad, however --way too expensive for a kid!

You shouldn't take the disappointment of a 4 year old seriously. My daughter is disappointed with EVERYTHING. Some kids just prefer their imagination to reality.