HELP!!! My Baby Is Going on the Bus!!!!

Hi,

I have 3 year old twin girls and one of them has special needs and will be riding a school bus and I am freaking out!!! I am trying to get my other daughter in the school but, in a different class because I would feel a little better if they went together. I have went back and forth about taking them to school and having someone pick them up. I am probably no help because I am just as confused. However, everyone tells me that kids generally love the bus ride and the aides on the bus pay good attention to the kids.

Hang in there!! I just took my baby, my third, 3 year old to preschool for the firs time.. ever away from me.. Ive been at home for 8.5 years!!~He looked at me and see ya.! :)
I, CRIED.. and am dreading taking him next week.. but hes happy!
When my daughter (first born) went to school, on the bus.. I was horrified.. i said i should take her.. etc..
Nope, she got on the bus.. yes, a little nervous, we all were and yes, i followed the bus to make sure the bus went to the school and she got off!
Usually the younger pre K and K.. sit in front and have special notes.. to make sure they got to correct entrances.. etc.. i also believe, that the first week or soo, they, the school has extra helpers.. to assist the younger children to their classes!!
My suggestion, let him get on the bus.. it will be a huge step for you and a relief.. as well, knowing that you CAN do it as well as he!
WIth this being said.. again, i will say.. im a total sissy mom, anxiety.. total... my stomach has been upset all day, just because my 3 year old starting preschool.. and hes my 3rd..!!! If i can do it.. you can also.
(my kids ages 8, and 7~still want me to take them to school the first day) BUT i encourage the bus ~for routine and social situation.. and sure on special occ,I will p/u or surprise them with donuts and milk on the way...enjoy your babies...:)
S.

My suggestion is don't put him on the bus. Period. Especially since you are a SAHM, just drive him. I know you have a little, little one at home still, but I'm sure his schedule could be adjusted if necessary. My eldest is 13 now, but when he went to Kindergarten, he was just a month into his 5th year...he was so little!!! I was a single mom at the time and I just cried and cried...and then I had to re-do my make-up and go to work! It stunk! He threw up on his first day and I couldn't even be there for him for right away, because it took about 45 minutes to get home from work! I would have given just about anything to be able to stay at home with him and drive him to school.

The concern I have with the school bus (and school in general) is the things that go on during "non-scheduled" school time, like bus, lunch, recess. In our district, each grade school has K-6. That means the little 5 year olds are riding with 6th graders! I think that is simply ludicrous! That is actually one of the reasons I am planning on home-schooling my other kids (4 and 2). I just don't want them receiving the "education" from the older kids. I have a very high regard for the public school system, and my eldest is still in it and will continue there, but it's just what we feel is best in our situation.

But enough of my story...I think simply committing to driving him would be a lot less traumatic than following the bus, and besides, what would that accomplish other than seeing that he got there safe. If you drive him, you also have your "special" time with him to encourage him for the day and also find out how his day went...think about it...he certainly has a captive audience! Plus if something traumatic happened or something wonderful, you are already in the car, so you can just turn it towards McDonalds and make everything all better (or celebrate!).

Well, I seem to have written a book here...sorry about that! Oh and just to let you know...it really doesn't get too much easier. That 13 year old I have...I about cried last year when he began middle school and had to walk 8 blocks (talk about scared!!!) and I'm already tearing up thinking that next year I'll have a high-schooler!

I hope this helped some and I am sure it will all work out in the end...

My son started the bus when he was just three years old. I drove him to school the first week, he was so scared of the bus. After school I would walk him by the buses, and we would watch all of the children get on to go home. I made sure to tell him everyday the bus driver was bringing all of his friends home to their M.. By the end of the week, I took my son on his bus so he could see what it looked like. The second week of school, I drove him to school and he took the bus home. It was easier for his teacher to leave him on the bus teary eyed, I would never have been able to do this! When he felt comfortable taking the bus home, this only took about four days, he took the bus both ways. Now my son loves the bus, and I love that I do not have to drive him or pick him from from school. I have learned to LOVE the bus too.
Karen

Hi V.,
I really do feel for you. I have been crying all week because my son who just turned 5 in August and is my first born just had his first school bus experience today. I talked up riding the bus with him for weeks and then cried myself to sleep at night. I did follow the bus so that I knew the route and felt more comfortable, however I didn't let him know that. His first trip on the school bus made him a little nervous, but he did enjoy it, I hope your son will too!!

Ok...you're crying and I'm laughing...not at YOU...but because I have so been there!! My son is now 7 but he has special needs so he started into the school system at 3 and believe me I CRIED!! I also had my sister in law telling me he was too small to be going on the bus. The bus personnel were wonderful people. I do remember crying and feeling guilty and yes, I followed the bus to school but I didn't let him see me. I do think that it would have distracted him. It did not take long before getting on the bus was his favorite thing to do. He still loves school buses and riding them. You will feel uncomfortable at first but I guarantee it gets better for both of you. Good luck!

Being an overprotective mom myself, let me ask you a few questions!
First, are there any kids in the neighborhood that are a bit older that he could buddy-up with? That may make him feel more comfy about it, if there is a 6 or 7 yr old he knows he can sit with. OR.. if there are more 4 yr olds on the bus? That may help too, if he has peers on there.

Secondly, do you know the bus-driver? Can you call beforehand and speak with him/her and ask to watch out for him, that it will be his first bus ride?

OR... could you just DRIVE him to school instead of him taking the bus? Maybe that would be less stressful for the both of you!

Otherwise, until he learns his stop, make sure they will have a map of stops so he doesn't ride around all day. Also, I would put a card in his pocket or bag in case he needs it, with his address and your phone number.

I do think communication with the driver and school, as well as another parent with child on the bus will make you feel better about the situation!
-M.

First of all, don't panic. As a former kindergarten teacher and now stay at home mom of a 5 and 3 year old. My advice would be to sound as positive and excited as you can for you little guy. Don't let him see the anxity you have. Tell him the fun things he will be doing at school and the friends he will meet on the bus. Also, let him know something you will be doing while he is gone (laundry, cleaning, shopping). Next, if you want to be at his school for 1st day pictures, etc. I would suggest you meet him at school. The best thing is to have him start out on the bus if that is how he is going to school everyday. Let him know you will be there to take pictures just the 1st day. Finally, don't prolong the
good-bye at the bus or at school. Give him a kiss, tell him you will see him at home and leave. Even if the tears start flowing, tell him it is time for school and leave. If you are postive he will know that everything is ok and have a positive experience. Then go to your car and cry your eyes out.

Good luck,
D.

A little about me: My daughter will be going to kindergarten next week and my son will be in pre-k. Both very excited to start at their new schools.

Hi V.,
I totally understand how you feel. My son is starting preschool this fall and he is really looking forward to it and I'm not! I guess I'm a bit over protective but this could be because he has so many food allergies and also I've been with him pretty much 24/7 since he was born. If you are able, why don't you drive him to school yourself? If this is not an option, follow the school bus a few times (but don't tell your son) until you feel more comfortable with the situation. Also get to know the bus driver too.
Diana

Vicki:

You're not nuts! I'm a school social worker and mom of a three year old. I've personally seen ideal school bus situations and less than ideal ones too.

I'm assuming that your child (4yr.)is going to preschool? If it was me, I would drive him/her. Children become stressed (most times) when they see their parent stressed out! You/We can't protect our kids forever, however, 4 is really young to be on a bus with much older kids. It's going to be loud and crowded most likely. The hope is to provide a positive school experience--therefore start it out on the right track. YOu wouldn't want these first few days to be ugly ones. Drive him, if you can, and if not, I really liked Amanda's suggestions.

Chances are, your child can tolerate the bus...but it's okay if you can't. Next year might be a better time for bus riding. In that case, most parents do follow the bus for the first day and meet their child at school. It think that's a good start--without being too overprotective.

Good luck.

Hi there-

My son is 3 and I have been told by several institutions that a child under the age of 5 cannot ride the bus legally by IL State Law. I know that your child will be 5 in October but didn't know if the school was just looking the other way as a result or what but I wanted to bring this to your attention- just in case.

Good luck!
N.