Comments About Sons Size

Updated on December 03, 2008
S.K. asks from Joliet, IL
19 answers

Hello mamas! I am fed up with people's comments about my little man. He is 5 1/2 months old, 21 pounds, and 29 inches long. People are constantly saying he is "fat" "huge" "doesn't miss a meal" etc. It infuriates me. Just once, I want someone to comment on his beautiful blue eyes, bright smile, awesome personality, etc. I think he is perfect in every way. I was made fun of as a child and I don't want that for my son. Is there a kind way for me to ward off these comments? I have tried correcting people by saying "I think he is just right" but it doesn't help. Please help. My husband and I are tired of the comment

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So What Happened?

Thank you,mamas! I am overwhelmed by everyone's help. As a child, I was always made fun of for my size...actually, my mother in law referred to me as sickly thin last week, so I guess that has never gone away. That is probably why I am so upset about everyone's comments about Lucas' weight. My husband was also made fun of for being too small as a child. Now he is a bigger guy and gets comments too. I am upset because I do not comment on other people's weight and it bothers me when other people make comments. After reading everyone's responses, I think I will be able to take these comments more lightly. He IS healthy, and perfect, and my bundle of love. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. And when I can't remind myself, I will use some of your witty comebacks!!! Thanks again!

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

My son is a very big boy too. When people make comments, I say, "Yes, and he is going to make millions when he is a linebacker in the NFL." Then people laugh and it brings humor to the situation. (:

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T.O.

answers from Chicago on

We would always say, "Yep..He's perfect" and people usually didn't have anything negative to say after that. We tried not to be rude when saying it (even though we often felt people were being rude) but that usually worked well.

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

My husband started out referring to our son as a "jumbo shrimp." He was my 7 pound preemie and was booted out of the NICU after an hour of observation for being too healthy. Fine by me!!

As he got older, he got more and more rollier. I just LOVED his "beefy" thighs, segmented arms, wrists that looked like they had rubber bands around them, baby "boobs" (as I called them) and enjoyed each and every pediatriciton appointment where he tipped the scales well into the 95th percentile for weight. It meant that he was growing and gaining weight at a healthy rate and the doc never saw any issues with it.

People would make comments and I'd tell them the story of my 7 pound preemie, proud of the "fatty" he'd become - he was healthy and that was the most imporant thing to me.

As long as your pediatrician is happy with how your son is growing and gaining weight, then be proud and think of those comments as compliments as fat babies are generally healthy babies and you're doing an excellent job making sure he's getting the nutrition he needs.

The doc always told us that our son would let us know when he was finished eating and that as a baby, it was nearly impossible to overfeed them. He's now 2 years old and is much thinner than he was (now that he RUNS everywhere instead of crawls/walks). He needed that extra fat he gained early on to boost him into walking and to support the activity his little body is doing now.

At some point if your son's weight is an issue, your doctor will help you. In the meantime know that he's getting proper fat and calories to support his brain development and that some day, a lucky girl will really enjoy his beautiful blue eyes.

You could always joke back if you're really not able to see the compliment side/or are totally annoyed and say, "yes, he's on diet baby food and we have him working with a personal trainer 4 times a week." See what kind of response that brings along!!

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

i'm so sorry about people's hurtfull comments. i just realized i may have made these comments too(oh what a big baby...). i have never intended it in a mean/hurtfull way although now i realize it may have been taken the wrong way. i am so sorry to anyone who may have taken an offense to it and will be more carefull. i always meant it as a complimant because it means the baby is healthy/happy but i will be more carefull now.
on the flip side i have 2 boys, (15 months apart), the younger one is bigger than the older one(weight/height). and i feel bad too because people are always commenting on it. my older one notices it too and always asks " why do people think he is older or that we are twins"? i honestly explain people are all different, we come in different sizes and shapes. i know it must be tough for him to really understand it though.
kirsten

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Oh the irony...can you imagine saying those comments to an adult? At the supermarket, would anyone come up to another adult and say "wow, you don't miss a meal"? People may mean well, but unfortunately they don't always think before they speak. Don't you just wish you could say "yeah, he's a fatty...just like you?" I'm kidding of course...

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S.

answers from Chicago on

I get those comments all the time. My little boy was also 21 lbs and 29 inches at 6 months. I beam with pride when people say he's big. Obviously at this weight and height they are proportional, not tall and skinny or short and fat). When people make comments ( he's now 8 months and 25lbs) I say "he's already an over achiever, he's scoring 98 and 99 percent on his tests!" (height and weight obviously). That usually gets a giggle.
I wouldn't let it upset you, tell them there's just more to cuddle! Your little one is obviously very healthy, you can always say " I hope he's always this healthy!"
S.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

Sara

Both of my sons were (are) big babies. My oldest was 22 pounds at 3 mo and my youngest was 24 pounds at 3 mo. I heard it all. "Wow, they look nothing like you, if we had not seen you pregnant we would not believe they were yours!" "What is in your breastmilk?!" "What are you feeding those boys?!" "OMG they are ENORMOUS!!!" "You have monster size children." "Have you radiated those boys?" The comments were and continue to be annoying.

I smile and reply that big babies are healthy babies and I am glad they are starting off with such an advantage. I tell them that nutrition is very important for brain development. I tell them it is nice that they are not delicate and that I do not have to worry about them wasting away. My reply is always sweet and complimentary of my boys. The less I show my frustration with the sugar coated and not so sugar coated insults, the less each person makes the comments.
Congratulations to you for having a healthy baby!

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

Our little guy had the cutest chubby cheeks & rolly legs! We got the same comments, and I would also say he's perfect, or more of him to love, or I love having a healthy baby, etc. He was short & chubby and I loved every minute of it!

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H.E.

answers from Chicago on

I think it is a compliment as well. Big babies are healthy babies and I think most people are enamored by bigger hefty babies, there's just so much to love and squeeze. Unless someone's saying it in a derogatory way, I don't see why it's so bad. People are always complimenting my sons red hair, I suppose if I thought they were saying it like it was bad, I would get annoyed. If you think he's beautiful, then it shouldn't matter right?

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T.C.

answers from Chicago on

I had people do the same with my son and daughter... my daughter was actually 6 weeks early and weighed in at a whopping 8 pounds! She was the largest baby in the NICU! lol

With my son, I would say Yep, he is big... I bet he is going to be the next Walter Payton and make millions! I always turned it into a sport thing and blew the comment off even though it hurt sometimes!

With my daughter I have not found someone to compare her to for size- Hmmm maybe J Lo! lol THe only thing I do say is I am thankful for her being healthy to people that I do not know.

My friends daughter is a couple months younger than my daughter, about the same height and about 15 pounds lighter though. When she makes nasty comments I turn it around and always say, well atleast if she ever gets sick (which she never has in almost 2 years) I wont have to worry about her being in the hospital on IVs and what not! Or I will sometimes when she gets REALLY nasty I will turn the tables and ask her if she ever feeds her child when she starts comparing the two.

I was so worried after all the comments and because I am a "big girl" that I took my daughter to a dietician. She actually only eats 2 healthy meals a day and a small healthy snack before bedtime so her diet was perfect... this is just who she is!

I think most people do not mean to be hurtful with the words they use and most still think if they have nothing nice to say they will say nothing at all.. BUT- If someone you do not know says something hurtful... like the fat or huge comment tell them they are rude. Be blunt and maybe they will think first before they hurt someone else. Since your son is big expect the Wow comments and the questions of how big he was at birth etc... do not take those to heart as those are mostly just friendly conversation and a way to check out your adorable baby! Know that most people will not comment on a baby they do not think is adorable!!!!

Many blessings to you and your healthy beautiful boy!

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H.D.

answers from Chicago on

I think that other parents think that saying your baby is big is sometimes meant to be a compliment. I know that for me when people say my baby is big it kind of clears any doubts that I have about A- that I'm giving her enough to eat B-that she is growing at the right pace and C- that she is on par with her peers.
Sometimes people are just jerks and probably think they can't offend a baby but forget that they can offend the parents. That's a tough one. I have dealt with being teased and it's no fun. As long as your baby is healthy then God bless. If weight/size has been a issue for you and your husband maybe take some precautions to insure that is not a issue for your son. Not just for vanity sake but his health and to spare him the pain that it has obviously caused you. It's sad that we have to tolerate ignorance and conform to the popular opinion about what we should look like but such whatcha gonna do?

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

Sara,

He's a BABY and I'm sure he's adorable - as all baby's are. My son, Ryan, was 19.5 pounds and 28" at his 6 month check up. Sure, he was big and he still is. People would say things like you mentioned and I just laughed. Actually, I nicknamed him my "pumpkin" because he was bigger and had some jaundice so was a little orange and he was born in the late summer. Lol. I also call him my "chub-a-lub" and his 3 y/o brother does, too. I love the baby rolls he had/has and how much different he is from his brother.

My older son, Jacob, on the other hand is smaller and I've had people say things about him, too. One person (a friend of mine) even called him "scrawny". That kinda bothered me.

What does your pediatrician say? That's what matters. As long as you and his doctor are comfortable with his eating habits - that's fine.

Truthfully, I don't think people intend it in a mean/hurtful way. I think because he is big people notice it at first. There's a set of twins at daycare that are so little and cute and I've called them "little peanuts" and it's a term of endearment to them, I don't mean it in a bad way.

Really, once he starts crawling he will slim down anyway so it won't matter. Ryan is still larger (22.5 pounds and 29" at 10 months), but I'm curious as to what he will be at his 1 year check-up since he's so much more mobile now pulling up and such.

Don't let it bother you, really. He's too young to worry about people poking fun at him when he gets older. And, even if he ends up being a totally average size, kids will always find something to poke fun at. They always do.

Oh, a little story...my younger brother was HUGE. He was 11 pounds 10oz at birth and 24" long. He was always off the charts at his check-ups and they called him "Baby Huey" for awhile because he was SO much bigger than the other kids in daycare. He's now 25 and 6'4" and maybe 180 pounds. Perfect shape and very athletic and smart. So HA to all that made fun of him! :)

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J.H.

answers from Chicago on

Sara-

My son was 11 Lbs. 8 Oz. at birth so he was HUGE! I heard it all the time! But I loved hearing it because he was/is healthy! I know that people were not trying to be crude; let's face it he was HUGE! Be happy and enjoy your baby and know that people are just stating the obvious not trying to insult you or your little one.

Smile and enjoy!

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G.P.

answers from Chicago on

Our son just turned one and we get that all the time! We don't let it bother us, I know he is not over weight, he is just bigger, it gives people something to make conversation about. We get the comments, "you certinley don't have to force feed him!" He has had teeth since three months, so he has been eating what we eat for some time. I personally like it, cuz I haven't had to buy baby food in months! Just ignore them, they want something to talk about!

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C.N.

answers from Chicago on

My son was bigger as a baby and my brother always made comments calling him "chubs", "never misses a meal", etc. I finally looked at him and said quit making these comments and he was like I am only kidding and I said "you know this is what gives people eating disorders". When it is all said and done he has grown up and is no longer "bigger" at all- very average. And my SIL has an eating disorder...hmmmm!

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N.W.

answers from Chicago on

It seems like people will make comments on EVERYTHING. If it's not that your child is big, it's that he's small, or has red hair (my red-haired friend said people were forever making comments about her hair color) or with me they made insensitive comments about me being adopted. People can be insensitive, even when they don't mean it.

If you don't feel like laughing it off, a tip from the Miss Manners column (I love how she doesn't advocate being rude back ever) says to look at them with a straight face and say "what makes you say that?" It puts them in their place immediately, lets them know they are being rude without YOU being rude. If they are asking a question you could say "why do want to know such a personal detail?"

I have used that response when asked about my own adoption (who are your REAL parents? etc.) and it works!

Good luck to you!

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Don't listen to these people. First of all babies are suppose to be a little chubby but by what you are saying you baby can not be to chubby. What is wrong with these people, it is a baby, chubbier babies a cute. Just close you ears and enjoy your healthy baby. ^j^

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W.P.

answers from Chicago on

I would tell those rude people (in a very nice tone of voice)that I can't wait until my baby is old enough to teach not to make rude comments about people's appearance. My little one did not have to endure such comments but I did (also for being skinny) and my sister was called out and out ugly by people! It was horrible and did damage her self esteem.

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L.

answers from Chicago on

My guy was small for the longest time, like too small, so I had the opposite problem - "oh, he must be so tiny for his age!" "Does he eat enough?" "He seems so skinny"

It started to drive me crazy but motherhood is already so stressful, I decided that most people probably don't think of what they're saying but generally, they are trying to make conversation and they really do mean well.

You love that little dude and he's healthy and robust and that's all that matters. I'd just laugh and say "yep, there's lots of him for us to love!" and be on your merry way.

Congrats on your boy!

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