Cavities in Baby Teeth: Looking for Advice About How to Proceed.

Sorry about the Cavity, my child also had some cavities and I don't go back with her - the one time I did go back she freaked out on the dentist and so I don't go back anymore. She does a wonderful job and they NEVER do anything without asking me first. I find she is so much braver when I wait in the waiting room and I can hear everything going on. Hope this helps.

Hi I.,

I'd look for another dentist. I would highly recommend Dr. Thomas at Bellevue Pediatric Dentistry http://www.nwpedo.com/ if you're in the area. He's a very nice young dentist and father of small children, and has all the latest digital equipment.

I have always accompanied my kids (we have 3) to the dentist's chair, basically until either I can tell they're completely fine/relaxed, or until they tell me "I can do it alone, Mom". And I'm not one of these overprotective helicopter Moms... I just want to know how they handle it, and how the doctor and staff handles them. It is my job as a parent to make sure that my kids are OK, and just because someone is a doctor doesn't mean they have good "bedside manners" or are sensitive to a small kids' needs. I've had some not-so-nice experiences with a dentist when I was a child, and it took me years to overcome my fear of dentists. I want to make sure to not have the same happen with my kids.

As I can tell from your post, you're not comfortable with the arrangement. I recommend you go with your gut feeling.

S.

Honestly look into it but I would find a new dentist there is no reason that you should not be allowed to go back with your child that is not right!

We go to kool smiles its a kids denistry and they allow you back with your children if you want, or they can go back by themselves! I would not feel comfortable sending my 5 year old back by himself.

We had a similar situation with our daughter. We took her to her first dental appointment at one year and discovered some cavities.

The initial dentist insisted that we need to have oral surgery done and that we couldn't be present.

We asked around and sought a second opinion and ended up in the office of Dr. Allan Pike - http://www.doctorpike.com/

He capped Mila's teeth in the office to stop the decay with me by her side. When Mila was older - age 4 - we had the caps removed and the cavity filled. Again, in the office with me by her side.

I think you need to go with your instinct and your comfort level on this.
I am certain that wherever you are that you can find a dentist who will allow you to be present for filling a cavity. If you are in the Portland area, I would recommend you consider Dr. Pike's office.

Best of luck,

J.
Milagros Boutique
http://milagrosboutique.com

I have to say that I find it odd that your dentist won't allow you to accompany a 3 year old. No way I would be alright with this, not even for a check-up.
My daughter fortunately hasn't had any cavities yet, but two of my nieces had to have dental work done around 3 years. I was with my oldest niece when she went in for her first filling. He iced her gums prior to giving her the novocaine, so she would no feel the shot. During the procedure he would show the the different instruments and let her touch them. He also talked her through the procedure letting her know what kind of noises and sensations to expect. She was very scared and cried a little, I don't think she would have cooperated if I wasn't there to hold her hand.

Honestly I would look for a dentist that more in tune with your expectations of care. Try to find a pediactric dentist if you can.

I. - My three year old also had a cavity that needed to be filled a couple of months ago. He did NOT have to have novocain and did just fine in the dentist chair. It was a little tough to get him to open his mouth wide enough, but he did a great job. I held his hand the whole time and also rubbed his leg while they were filling his tooth. There is no WAY I would let him go back by himself.
It sounds to me that maybe you need a dentist that is a bit more familiar with kids. I remember my mother coming back with me until I was a young teen (I REALLY hate going to the dentist). Unless there is a medical reason for you not being able to be in the room, I would put my foot down.
There are a lot of instruments that dentists use that could be scary to a young child, and there they are all by themselves. He may put up a fight the next time you want to go!
Good Luck, and stand up for yourself!!
L.

find a dentist that specializes in pediatric dentistry and is compassionate and understanding. there are a lot out there who work with you so that going to the dentist is not a traumatic experience (because realistically..how many people don't go to the dentist because of a bad experience?? tons of us!) what your dentist is suggesting doesn't sound like he is the best for your child.

Please see a pediatric dentist. They are completly set up for and focused on little ones. It doesnt make sense to traumatize your child for the rest of their life over dental visits, because of what could happen. I would be in that room.

A lot of pediatric dentists have this policy, probably from experience of having stressed out parents panic their children unknowingly.

If you aren't comfortable with it, though, you should find a dentist with a different policy. My daughter went to one with this policy (her cavity came when she was two), but we moved her to a different dentist, and he's great with any arrangement I decide on... and he's my dentist, too! That made me more comfortable overall.

Good luck with the cavity... it happens to some children... it happened to me as a child. The only real concern is when adult teeth are coming in. Be sure the dentist is watching to make sure the tooth comes out properly. When I was a child, I had a capped baby tooth, and when the time came for the adult tooth to come, the little one wouldn't budge. It had to be extracted. Most teeth cooperate nicely, though... my experience was a rare one.

Hi I.,

My 7 yr old just had an abscess...and we were going to pull 1 baby tooth. Because of scheduling we had to wait 2 1/2 mo. to have the Dentist (D.D.S.) pull the tooth. In that time the abscess tooth developed a cavity the size of a pea, and the neighboring tooth also developed a cavity. Our dentist said it was no big deal... we'd just pull that tooth too, (since it was a baby tooth).

The only problem we had was: my daughter's fear of needles. So, getting her numb was a trick all in it's self. But she was brave enough and we finally got her numb enough to pull the teeth...which only took 3mins. to do.

Maybe you should seek a 2nd opinion from a D.D.S.

Good Luck & best wishes~
Heather friend of C. m Hamlin

Hi,

My friend's daughter also had cavities at age 3. Since it was her baby teeth the dentist advised just applying a special coating over the teeth to prevent further decay. The dentist that she uses and we use is at Woodinville Pediatric Dentistry and we love her. Dr Rama. I think it might be worthwhile getting a second opinion.

Not having you there is not really a fair thing right at that age when it would make you and your son feel much better.

Good luck.

D.

Hi I., I just took four four of my kids to Little Smiles, and I was very happy with them. My three year old is going in next week for a filling. :(
They are in SE on 17th I believe.
Good luck!

I have always acompanied my son to the dentist, whether he is having a normal check up or getting his teeth filled. When my son goes for his normal check up and teeth cleaning, I usually book mine and his the same day and i go first so he sees what they do to me and tell him that is what they will do to him.

However my son had cavaties and we had to take him in several times. The first time he did good. The dentist had me explain to my son before we went they he was going to get seepy juice and that his mouth may feel wierd, but that was it. But I was there with him, because he was scared a little, He didn't know what to expect. But I was there holding his had and reassuring him when they actually put the needle in and it hurt him. But my son was strong and did very well. But after the second time we went he remember how it was and didn't want to get the procedure done. So my dentist said that if he didn't want to we would have to send him to a child dentist. So we went home and tried again another time. By then I had talked to him that at the other dentist they wouldn't let me be with him and so he let them work on his teeth. I have always been there with him watching, and he goes sometimes when I get mine. This has helped. and he does very well. Good luck, but I wouldn't feel comfortable no being there watching him and being there for him.

My daughter's dentist had this policy, but when my daughter injured her tooth at 2 years, he did not enforce it. She had to have regular visits for about 18 months, and he never asked me to stay in the waiting room. The policy was intended for kids 4 and over. My dentist now, is not a pediatric dentist and does not have that policy... in fact, they ask me to hold the kids or hold their hands. I personally strongly disagree with the policy forcing parents to stay out because the kids only obey better because they are totally freaked out. I don't want my child obeying out of fear. I want to make him feel safe. Rewards work wonders for getting kids to obey at the dentist. Since he won't be able to have a treat afterward, I'd get a small gift and wrap it up. Let him hold it through the whole appt and he gets to open it when he is all done. Let him know he must obey in order to get the tooth fixed quickly... otherwise, he'll just have to come back again another day too.

My youngest child has her daddy's teeth meaning that she had 3 cavities by the time she was 3 years old, despite my best efforts. I took my girl to a pediatric dentist mainly because she has a bad gag reflex and she has to be knocked out for the simplest of procedures. I did go in there with her while she was getting her crowns, even when she started freaking out because the kiddie Valium wasn't helping much and she started gagging.

I would be VERY suspicious of any doctor that does not allow you to accompany your child. Dental procedures can be handled several ways for children. One is the tie-them-up & pull method, in which parents are not allowed in the room for the simple fact that no parent would allow a doctor to do this to their child. It can also be very traumatic for the child. The other way is sedation, a much more gentle & less traumatizing way to sedate a child before dental procedures. Trust your instincts & always accompany your child! Sorry, don't mean to scare you, but I think this is important.

Hi I.:

Get a new dentist. We went to a pediatric dentist when both my girls were that age (now ages 13 & 16). All of my then 2 1/2 year old's cleanings (she gets tartar building up, so lots of scraping) were in my lap. It was actually really a nice thing--it wasn't fun for her, but I think it was comforting that I got to help her with it.

3-year olds aren't going to follow directions well in a stressful situation with or without you in the room. Now I think that's probably a good policy with an 8 year old, but I think 3 is too young for the "no Mom in the room" thing.

That's my two cents...

First do some thorough research about your doc. Is he a ped. dentist? I had a really bad experience When I needed to use a ped. dentist in an emergency and had no time to do research for one. Then see what is the general procedure for such things. Also remember the shot is the thing that hurts, and the drilling the thing that is scary.

Good luck.

My children have had procedures on their teeth, both with me present and without. My current dentist is happy to have me there during cleanings and procedures like cavities and sealants. I don't think my presence has made things any more difficult for my children. They did fine without me there also.

Some children probably do better with each method. I don't think there is a one size fits all. But if you think you need to be with your child or your child needs you, then maybe you need to find a dentist that shares your philosophy. It shouldn't hurt your child to wait a little longer to get a cavity filled if you want to change dentists to one who has an approach that better fits your parenting style.

Hi I.,

This is just my opinion so please take it as that, an opinion. Doctors of any sort who refuse to allow parents in the room during procedures make me nervous. I am sure that most of these doctors really mean well, but part of working with kids is dealing with parents. If they can't handle the parents then they should consider whether or not they really want to work with kids, because kids come with parents.

I say get a second opinion. It can't hurt and most dentists will do a consultation visit at a reduced fee or free. I did that when my little one had to have his front two teeth pulled. The first pediatric dentist we saw would not let me in the room for the procedure or the recovery. So, I called another one and took my son for a second opinion on what had to done and how. The second place turned out to be much better suited to us. It was a huge relief for me at that time to just hear another opinion and even better to get to be with him.

Good Luck,
S.

We go to a pediatric dentist who encourages the parent to stay with the kiddo. It's a bit of a drive for you maybe, but might be worth it.

http://www.akidsplacedentistry.com/

A health care professional that won't allow a parent in during a procedure has something to hide. I'd find a new dentist. Dr Phil Etheredge in Kirkland isn't a pediatric dentist, but he does see children. My 5 year old just had 2 cavities filled and Phil was great with him.

I sat in the corner and told my son to listen to Dr Phil and do whatever he was told. The only time I said anything was to repeat or clarify an instruction.

If you aren't comfortable with a dentist or their recommendation, don't go.

I would definitely get a pediatric dentist. Some dentist just don't have the temperament to deal with children. I am not sure but it sounds like your dentist is one from what you say.

Usually parents don't accompany the child because "yes" they can make the situation worse. The child might possibly act up with mom there but will behave if mom is not around.

N.
SAH Mom, Grandma, wellness coach and retired dental hygienist

Hi I. - First question is the dentist a pediatric dentist? If not I would suggest looking for one in your area. For me I have to drive 30 minutes for the one we use (it has been a 90 minute drive but they opened a satellite office closer - YEA). For our pediatric dentist they have always welcomed parents with the kids, I was there when they would do the exams & cleaning and even when they pulled a tooth from my oldest. As long as you are not a distraction to the procedure most dentists that I know are fine with it. My kids' dentist office is also very kid friendly with TVs on the ceiling and games & toys in the waiting room. Their dentist recently (in the last few years) got the digital x-rays and so now it is even more easy for the kids to have that done. The only time I was not allowed to be with my kids during a procedure was when we had to knock out my oldest (he was about 4yrs old) to have caps put on a few teeth (poor enamel - no amount of brushing helped). But that procedure was done at the hospital, they did allow me to carry him to the operating room and set him on the table & then I left. I have had no negative experiences. One of the bummer things for us right now is when my husband changed jobs the kids' dentist does not take our new insurance but we loved having such a positive experience for the kids so they will continue to like the dentist we have opted to still use them & just budgeted to pay for the entire amount. Hope you will start having a more positive experience! God Bless

There are a lot of pediatric dentists that specialize in dealing with kids. We go to one recommended by my pediatrician and the office is set up for kids to enjoy, the staff are excellent and the doctor makes everyone comfortable while making sure he can do his job. All of this while I am in the room! My daughter, now 4, has gone once a year since she was 2. She was a clingy child but let the dentist do everything because he took care to explain and make her comfortable!

There have been a number of pediatric dentists just opened up in the portland area in the past few years and all have had great reviews. Maybe your pediatrician will have a recommendation.

good luck
D.