Baby Nursing Through His Naps . . . Won't Sleep All Afternoon. . . Help!

Have you heard of the book "The Baby Whisperer"? I read this book and referenced it with my son. It really helped solve a lot of sleeping, eating, scheduling issues. He hasn't had a problem since! Check it out and good luck! I'm on to the "The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" now and again, great tips!

My babies became much more easily distracted around 4 months old. It is a phase common at that age. Their nervous system before then automatically shuts down outside distractions when they need to rest or nurse, but now it becomes something they must learn to regulate. At this stage I did initially have to find quiet spaces for them to nurse or else they would not be able to nurse. But what worked too, was my calming my body. Babies pick up our "vibes" so much, so that if you become anxious about this situation it will not have a chance to resolve, and I would hate to see you in a pattern of having to do step aerobis with a fan in a dark room each time you need to nurse him. So if you know how to meditate begin to meditate with him in your arms, it works miracles...he will begin to calm, and then be able to nurse....begin in the dark room without distraction first, but slowly begin to add more stimuli, perhaps beginning with more light, until you can nurse in public with a blanket over him so at least he is not getting the visual distractions....this phase will pass, but it is really miraculous how much influence we have over them with our own states of mind, and the more meditative you can be even with a bunch of distractions you will see he will learn to tune out other distractions too...If you don't know how to meditate, ask again....I can give suggestions

Hi K.,

I read through your post, and it appears that there may possibly be several things going on here. It is really difficult to know for sure without speaking to you and finding out more details and history. I would urge you to get the help and support of your local La Leche League leader. You can get locations and numbers for local leaders at Lalecheleague.com . These women are dedicated to nursing Moms, and hold monthly meetings as well. They are also on call 24 hours a day. I am a leader for the Wachusett North group in Massachusetts. Get some support so you can not only find out what is going on, but to enjoy this special time without so much frustration.
If you can't find anyone, look me up, and I will help you or find a leader and group who can.

You sound like such a dedicated and loving mother.

Take
Care,

A.

Assuming that you don't suspect food allergies (they can really disrupt sleep and make eating uncomfortable) it's possible that you have oversupply/overactive letdown. I've had this with all three kids and it down make peaceful nursing more challenging. My letdown is so strong that it's like trying to drink from a firehose, and the little ones sputter, choke, pull off the breast etc while the milk sprays everywhere! Also, the oversupply means that I have an overabundance of the thin, watery, high-sugar foremilk. It's easy for a baby to fill up on this before getting to the fat-rich hindmilk. When this happens it can cause cramping, gas, green stools and general discomfort. The foremilk also gets processed faster and baby is hungrier sooner.

If any of this sounds familiar, I would suggest searching for "oversupply" on Kellymom.com or contacting your local LaLeche League leader for tips on how to manage the oversupply. Once you learn what works everyone can be more comfortable--it's so much easier than wrestling through until they're old enough to handle the stream!

If not I would just say that in my experience, your sleep woes are not too unusual, and you're doing a good job managing them. With my son I had to bounce him on an exercise ball for AGES to get him to sleep--sometimes upwards of two hours, in fact, in a dark room. They're cheap--about 12 bucks at WalMart--and might be an easier solution than step aerobics if he needs the movement.

Alternatively, if you haven't tried swaddling, I would strongly suggest trying it. It was a must for my babies for the first several months! It helps to calm frantic little hands and arms that they can't control and is very soothing. It might be just the thing to calm your little one for nursing and to help him sleep, too!

45 minutes is a typical single sleep cycle for a baby. At some point they do learn to resettle during light sleep stage and will begin to add an extra cycle for a total of 90 minutes. My youngest daughter is 7 mos and is just now beginning to have some 90 minute naps, although most are still 45 minutes.

Hang in there, K.! You're doing the right things it can just be tricky to figure out what a baby needs. I've had a couple of very challenging babies and have had to learn a lot of tricks!

Have you heard of the book "The Baby Whisperer"? I read this book and referenced it with my son. It really helped solve a lot of sleeping, eating, scheduling issues. He hasn't had a problem since! Check it out and good luck! I'm on to the "The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" now and again, great tips!

My first two sons were (are) very active and I thought I might die with what they needed from me...but I didn't. The longest reprieve I ever experienced between feedings was 45 minutes but 30 minutes between feedings was the norm. Night or day did not alter these feedings in any way. I breastfed them (until I had to stop because I found myself to be pregnant again and not capable of doing both pregnancy and breastfeeding). The first son could not sleep unless he was being moved in some way. I had a swing that he slept in but he would wake up every time it stopped and it was a wind-up. I think those battery operated swings must be wonderful for this situation. My second son would sleep wonderfully if I put his cradle or crib right up against the dryer while it was running. If you find a place that he will sleep, try nursing him over that spot so that you don't have to move him once he's through eating. I would nurse him over his car seat in the car and over the bassinet against the dryer or over the swing and then just gently start the swing when he had fallen off to sleep. This time will pass, I promise.

Ah yes, the dreaded four-month sleep regression. This almost killed us when it struck our our house four months ago. My best advice is not to panic, and to know that this not only a completely normal developmental spurt, but also that it will pass. It won't be like this for long, though it might be a rough few weeks. My guy pretty much stopped sleeping more than 45 mins at a time AT ALL, and also became impossible to feed or nap out and about, which was a truly miserable combination for him. We essentially just resigned ourselves to hanging close to the house for a few weeks with only the briefest of outings until things settled down. Believe me, it will get better. Here are some links to some good info on the topic. Both the posts themselves, AND the comments are worth reading. We had never heard of such things when we hit out 4-month regression, and honestly? We thought our baby's brain had exploded, which I guess is kind of what's happening, in a way. Ours went on for almost 3 weeks, and then....then it just....stopped. I mean, we did what everyone says to do, instituted a bedtime ritual for both nighttime sleep and naps: same things, same cues every day, at the same time of the day, including a little nap-time song. I have no idea if these things helped, or if it was just time, but it made us feel good to be doing something proactive, and now we already have a rock-solid bedtime routine that we can carry with us wherever we go. There's definitely something to be said for that. Anyway, read these if you have a few minutes. They won't turn him into a sleep-angel, but they'll help YOU, I think. Don't worry, you're doing a great job.

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2007/10/4-month-olds.html

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2005/12/quick_and_dirty.html

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2007/02/qa_4_12monthold.html

Hi,
My first child was a like yours in that she only took 45 minute naps...until about 6 months when she solidified two good naps, one in the morning (9-10:30ish) and one in the afternoon (1-3). I always said I'd rather have a good night sleeper than a good day sleeper, so keep at it. It might just be the way he is with napping while he's little.

The breastfeeding is a little confusing to me. For a completely different reason, I used a nipple shield with my first, but for you, it might slow down the flow for him so he can cope better with the fast flow. It's just a thin plastic thing that goes over your nipple and he latches to that, but it has little holes in it like a bottle top so the milk goes through. Also, maybe instead of letting the window of sleepiness pass, just put him down for a nap and when he gets up, he might be more ravenous to eat. They can go more hours at that age between feedings...actually think about how long he goes at night (which I'm guessing is his longest stretch). Maybe after the nap, he'll nurse easier. It sort of fits with the "baby whisperer" philosophy...which is a cycle of eat, activity, sleep, repeat. That did work for my daughter and son at that age.

Another thing is that 10 minutes to get him sleepy thing. I think kids do great with routine...and that's what he's used to, so that's what he wants. You can change that, though. It will be harder at first (day or two), but then it will get better. Start as you mean to go on...whatever you want to be doing for the next year (or more!) to soothe your little guy, start doing now. Of course that also means...stop doing something you don't want to keep doing. He's going to keep wanting what he's used to.

Good luck. I know how hard the first months are. It'll get easier...you'll figure something out.

Hi K.,
First of all, good for you for the multi-tasking of being with your baby and getting some exercise, even though it sounds like hard work. My 4 month old has a hard time getting to sleep when she is overly tired. If I don't jump right on it after I see her yawn once, it could take hours to get her to sleep. I know that my daughter requires a lot of sleep but some babies don't. Is he definitly tired or are those quick naps while eating enough for him? My daughter and I were not successfully breastfeeding until about 6 weeks after she was born, she wouldn't latch on properly and I think my milk supply was low, anyway, one way to get her relaxed was to take a bath with her and nurse her in the tub, the hospital actually suggests this to mothers of premies because it relaxes the baby. It sounds like you also have a very fast let down and it might help to express some right before he eats (if you do it manually, it won't stimluate your milk supply as much which hopefully won't encourage your body to make even more) maybe your milk is coming so fast that it overstimulates him and gets him wired before he eats. I am only sharing information with you that I have learned from attending the Breastfeeding Support group for the past 4 months. It may help to actually talk to a lactation consultant. Good luck!

I'm expecting my first in July, so I can't speak from experience, but I can tell you what my sister did! She had a "monster" baby while he nursed. He would get so excited about nursing that he couldn't actually nurse. She spent a lot of time teaching him to calm down, simply by removing him from her breast, stroking his face and quietly telling him to calm down and be gentle. Then she would try again. After a few tries he usually calmed down enough to actually nurse. This took time of course, and he got very upset at first, but it all worked out. He often would fall asleep nursing as well, so she took to striping him down to feed him. The temperature difference kept him awake enough to nurse, and she dressed him after he was done.

Good luck!

My first baby would only nurse if I was lying down, at home. I used to pump milk for when we were out. She wouldn't use a bottle, but she would take the avent sippy cup, even at 3 months. It sounds like you have a fast letdown, I have the same problem, my baby gets sprayed and it comes out too fast to drink. If you wait a couple minutes, the letdown slows down and then you can try again, usually with more success (in my experience). In terms of distracted babies, white noise helps, sometimes mom talking to the baby can help hold attention too. Good luck!

I am so sorry for you,,, your baby is totally running your life. You must get very frustrated, have you spoken to his pediatrician???? Have you tried pumping for nap times???? He will drink, when he is hungry,,,Good Luck R.

Dear K.,
A baby is still a human being at 4 months old. They KNOW when they are hungry and need to be feed or just suckled to feel secure and safe. I would recommend that you WEAR your baby and start attaching yourselves. If you are slinging your baby, he will nurse when he needs to, and sleep when he needs to. Don't worry about "schedule", darkened rooms, white noise, ect...
When he is tired he will sleep.
Think about your son as an individual and not just a "baby".
He has needs and wants. He can communicate to you by crying, cooing and being calm. It is up to us to interpret his needs without checking the manual and adhereing to a schedule that we have set.
Try looking outside the box. Attach yourselves and feel his daily rhythm. He has one all his own.

Once you stop the struggle to make your child conform, it becomes natural and easy.

You will be fine, as will your son. Try to be one. Feel his daily rhythym and let him feel yours.
As a mom of 2 wonderful, unique children ages 4 and 5.5, I can attest to letting them find their own path.
We are there as facilitors and guides.
From babyhood, they know what they want.
Let's help them..
Peace.
~C.

Wow a lot of what you said sounds exactly like my baby when she was 4 months! It gets WAY better soon don't worry.
As far as breastfeeding, if you have not already, research "OVERFLOW" it can cause many problems: fussy feeding, blood in the stool, explosive stools, waking after 40 min. due to stomach gas. The sleep thing gets better after 5 months, try the 5 S's: swadling, sushing, shaking(gently)while holding him on his side, sucking-passy? For distractibility, try a dark quiet room, and for public feedings-pump a bottle?
Is he your first? The first 4 months are the worst! :) Hang in there. I know a doc who knows a lot about breastfeeding if your interested?

K.,

Sounds like he's really running the show. However frustrating it is I would continue to nurse your son while he is wide awake. If you continue to sort of nurse him through his nap time you will always be tied to the house because he is associating the breastfeeding with naptime. In addition, your milk supply will dwindle because he is not feeding vigorously enough. You could try expressing some milk before you start feeding if the stream is too strong. A hungry baby should be able to empty your breast in 5-10 minutes. Usually, I would nurse on one side for about 5-10 minutes then switch to the other breast for a few minutes and the next feeding I would start with the opposite breast to.

I also had a problem with a distracted baby who would fidget through the feeding and also teeth on my breast. My advice is to stop the feeding when this occurs and reattempt in about 10 minutes. Eventually he will understand that he needs to get down to business if he is hungry. At this age you need to establish solid feedings because he should be eating less frequently and more with each feeding. If you do not establish regular feeding times now you will establish this sort of grazing type of feeding and napping which will tie you to the house and rocking chair until you wean. I don't mean to sound harsh and I know breast feeding is also a time to bond, but your son is no longer a "newborn" so more regular feeding and nap times are possible to establish. If you don't you might become so restricted and resentful that you abandon nursing altogether. If you are a stay at home mom you should be able to establish a regular schedule if you are persistent. As far as napping is concerned, babies of 4 months generally nap about two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon but many sleep much less. If your son is sleeping 11 hours at night I would count my blessings.

Although routines are good for babies and children, you shouldn't have to be tied to your house. You may find that he sleeps well if you take him for a stroller walk after his feeding or a drive in the car. I found I could feed my daughter in the morning then either take a walk or drive to the mall and walk and she would sleep for two solid hours. I could stroll then read the paper and have a bagel before she woke up. If you are working it may be more difficult to establish a good pattern. You could try pumping and then feeding a bottle. Personally, I found that very difficult to manage. It seemed like I was spending twice the amount of time. 10 minutes to pump then 10-15 minutes to feed the baby. Either way although we love our children we shouldn't have to give up all our own pleasures. Baby will follow your lead; you establish the pattern. As you know, if "mommy ain't happy; ain't nobody happy" and remember you will be raising this child for 18-20 plus years! Best Wishes!

J. L.

Your comment about the fan running and your doing aerobics made me respond. My daughter is now 18 and in order to fall asleep peacefully, she needs to have both her ceiling fan and a white noise machine running. They block out the distracting noises like the clock ticking. When she was little she had a terrible time falling asleep and we always thought that her room needed to be quiet as possible. I now know the opposite is true.
When she was a baby, she got startled by the cupboard door clicking shut or the click of a camera shutter. She is still highly sensitive to noise. In her this is primarily a Sensory Integration issue--people like her need a transition period from wakeful to sleepy that sometimes takes an hour or more.
She still has trouble with the transition from a noisy place (restaurant) to a quiet place (the car) too, and has learned some coping skills for the transition. If she doesn't ease in and out of environments with different levels of sensory information (especially sound), she sometimes feels "funny" and gets irritable (fussy). She sometimes says it "hurts her brain." The OTs where she got occupational therapy call that being "disorganized" meaning the brain is not organizing and intrpreting sensory information readily or completely.
I first learned about this by reading The Out-of-Sync Child when my daughter was in junior high. My biggest regret (and hers) is not knowing all of this when she was much younger. Early intervention does wonders.
Maybe a white noise machine would help your son. Incidentally the hard sucking may be his need to have more than the normal amount of pressure on his mouth. Did he like to be wrapped in his blanket and fuss when it came loose? That was true for my daughter. There are many many ways to address these issues, as there are many different aspects of Sensory Integration/Sensory Processing Dysfunction. That may not be the answer but it may be worth investigating. I hope you and he get some relief. Good luck.

does he have any signs of reflux? my daughter became uncomfortable with feedings and had some traits similar to your son, when we treated her reflux, she settled right down and had her feedings done quickly and got a better sleep schedule.
good luck