Attire for Summer Funeral

Updated on July 19, 2010
H.O. asks from Lincoln, NE
20 answers

I will be attending a funeral in a few days and want to be sure I'm appropriately dressed. The last funeral I attended was a few years ago and I wore a long black dress and remember seeing other women in less traditional clothing. Could anyone help with suggestions for a summer funeral?

Thank you!

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R.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Dark clothing, but I think knee length is okay for a skirt, if it is hot. Or just make it breathable fabrics, like dark linen.

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

Be comfortable. As long as you are neat, clean & a little dressy you will be fine. Darker colors are usually the norm but it depends on the formality of the family & sometimes the requests of the deceased. Some, if they know they are going to pass, the deceased will ask morners to wear bright colors & celebrate their life rather than morn their passing.

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T.L.

answers from Denver on

Funerals are no longer the 'all black' from head to toe affair they used to be. I do, however, stay away from wearing white. If you attend church anything 'church attire' would be appropriate. If not, then something you might choose to wear to a nice dinner. Slacks and a top or a skirt and a top.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

Having just been to a funeral a few weeks ago--it's sort of like other "formal" events: You will feel bad if you think you are under-dressed, but won't even if you overdress. I would say to go with something summer-appropriate for business wear, that is in darker colors.

If you can't find something, check out your local Goodwill/thrift store. I found an outfit (black skirt, nice top and a vest) for $10, all of which I have now added to my work wardrobe.

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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I dont think I would wear a long dress it is too formal. A blouse and skirt or dress that is not a big wild print or really bright color is good. You could even wear nice slacks and a top or blouse. Be sure the style of clothing is fairly modest and not revealing. People no longer wear only black to funerals unless they are in the immediate family and even so not always in the immediately family. I am sorry for your loss.

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi H.,

Black is always correct because it is traditional. Better to be overdressed than under dressed. If this is truly a Christian funeral, many encourage bright colored clothes now to celebrate the loved one arriving in Heaven. Either way, Church type attire is appropriate. I've seen people come in jeans, sundresses, flip flops and personally it distracts me from what's important. Maybe I'm old, but I do appreciate someone that takes the time to do (and ask about :) the proper etiquette.

M.

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T.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello H., I feel that in recent years funeral attire has definitely changed.You can wear something much less formal and it is accepted.Last year July my grandmother passed and it was extremely hot on the day of her funeral.I choose to wear a pair of dressy black capri pants and a white blouse with black heels. I was not underdressed by any means and I managed to stay cool in the heat! I do feel jeans is not appropiate though:).. so sorry for your loss.

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H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I also found I was the odd duck out in black. Seems people don't do it anymore. In the future, it think I'll just wear something dressy thats not splashy.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

i would still wear black, or navy, but it would be okay to have a print of maybe white outlined flowers or something subtle. sleeveless or straps are fine. i wouldnt want it above the knee though.

but the thing is, thats what i would wear. as for whats acceptable, i think nuetral colors/patterns are fine. i dont think bright colors or patterns are appropriate. i also think if you are an aquaintance, you may dress more casually than if you are close. i do agree though, better to be more than less. but it is completely appropriate to wear something your will be cool in.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

At my nephew's funeral last month it was 100 degrees here in Texas. The men wore black suits and most of the ladies had on sleevless black dresses. That's what I wore. I agree that some do wear jeans and flip flops and personally, I think it's disrespectful.

C.S.

answers from Medford on

It depends on where you are. I am sitting at my desk right now is business attire, plus a coat. :)
I would dress simi-formally (not a prom dress by any means), but it is a formal occasion. A lighter fabric would be fine if its hot hot hot out there, but it needs to be a darker shade (no white).
I live in a very small town and the people here just don't get it. I see people in jeans at funerals and I think its disrespectful. Worse yet I have seen countless people show up in what looks like pajamas! To each their own, I guess...but you asked and I say keep it formal winter spring summer or fall.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

My 22 year old son died in an accident a month ago and his wife, my husband, daughter and I wore red and black which were his favorite colors and my oldest son and his wife and children wore camaflogue to show their love of hunting together. I bought a new top and sweater for it because I wasn't going to keep it where it sticks out at me each time I opened the closet door but just 3 weeks to the day one of my good friends died from lung cancer and I wore the sweater with a different shirt to her funeral. Most wore darker clothes but some were in springy clothes. I think as long as it is respectful, no one minds what you wear. I know the family of the loved one won't remember who is there let alone what they are wearing so dress for yourself and your comfort. At my son's funeral we told even the pall bearers if they wanted to wear jeans and t shirts, that is what Jordan would have wanted to wear so it was ok but they all dressed nice.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

If it's going to be warm (and I have no idea if this will be all inside or if there will be a grave side ceremony - heels just don't do well on grass or gravel), you'll want something that's light weight in dark, somber colors. A dark dress (knee length) or pants suit should be fine. I had a light weight black cotton sweater (it had a few flowers on it) that my husband called my funeral sweater because it was my first choice when ever I needed something dark.

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K.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Relax. What do you WANT to wear? What would please the person you're there to honor? It may be helpful to remember that you're not the center of attention, and that your showing up is what matters most.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

If it is in a church or chapel dress code is more formal style with black being the primary color, also navy or dark brown are considered to be somber. If it is graveside just wear normal clothing that you would wear to a get together such as a company picnic.

Stay away from revealing, low cute, halter without a jacket to cover shoulders, spaghetti strap sundresses, short dresses or shorts, pants that touch the floor and drag, shoes that are filthy or in bad shape with tears or stains, clothes that have to stretch to fit over body parts, it that shirt has to be pulled down over a flat hiney then wear something looser, just dress in something tasteful.

It's nice that you care enough to ask what you should consider wearing. I am sorry for your loss.

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M.M.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

In my personal opinion, funerals are somber occasions and one should be dressed as such. If you stick with dark colors (not necessarily black, dark greys, very dark blues, etc. are ok, although if the person that passed is a close family relation, consider black) and conservative clothing, you'll be ok. If you're worried about being too warm, and want to wear something sleeveless, throw a light weight cardigan on top. Lots of bare skin isn't appropriate for a funeral.

Hope this helps!

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I have a basic black suit that I wear for funerals with a pair of black heels. But any dark suit will also work. If you do need to go shopping most of the stores now have the summer clearance going on now. Hopefully you can find something plain and dark that would work year round for funerals. As you look through the racks think about the weather in your area all year. If you can choose something that will work for any time of the year, maybe by adding a jacket or sweater for winter. You could also look for a pair of Dockers type pants in a neutral color (black, dark blue or beige) and wear them with a nice top or blouse, in winter you can add a sweater or jacket. Be sure the shoes are comfortable enough to stand in for long periods of time and won't sink in for the grave site ceremony.
I have been to funerals and seen people in jeans, tee shirts or sweat shirts and sneakers. I find this very inappropriate.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

It used to be that solid black was known as "Deepest Mourning" and was reserved for the closest family members only. In fact, ALL of the widow's or widower's clothes would be dyed black. Others wore somber colors, typically in shades of grey and brown, but black was reserved.

Over the past several decades that has loosened up a great deal, and anyone can wear black, and even color is allowed.

Essentially, "muted" and business casual to business formal is what's called for for adults.

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I went to a funeral last month. They called it a "Going Home Ceremony." I wore a fluttery feminie black top and a colorful black and pink flowery skirt. Several people told me how nice I looked. I wore some black, but also a more hopeful color. I think that was an appropriate outfit. A little somber and respectful, but also a little bright and hopeful of a better tomorow. ALL the ladies had on heels. Mostly knee length dresses or skirts. Some wore no black at all, and that seemed perfectly ok. The only faux pas that I noticed was women that wore revealing clothes. There were some side ways glances and eye rolling at women showing cleavage or wearing too short of a skirt.

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B.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have seen everything from black pedal pushers, to modest sun dresses. I think anything goes now adays.

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