Ahow Do You Address Your Child's Teacher?

Updated on May 02, 2012
L.M. asks from Chicago, IL
24 answers

When your child is not around, like in emails or during conferences, do you address the teacher as Mr or Mrs? Or do you use their first name?

I respect my daughters teacher, but also think of us a equals, so I'm never sure what to say. She signs her emails with her first and last name.

Obviously, when the kids are around you address them as Mr or Mrs.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

With all do respect.. always Mr/Ms/Mrs. Until they give me permission to call them by their first names.

Yes, equals, but they are teaching and caring for my most prized person.. I want them to know I respect that.

6 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Houston on

I always call people by Mr/Mrs until they ask me to call them by their first names, no matter who they are or how old they are.

5 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I always call them Mr/Mrs <last name> in every situation.
I prefer they call me Mrs too when they address me.
Parents and teachers are presumably all adults but I don't exactly equate them as equal.
Family and neighbors call me by my nickname, children call me Mrs (except for mine who calls me Mom)
Husband calls me Sweetheart
Co-workers call me by my given name and I call them as they indicate.
Waiters/waitresses and telemarketers are advised not to call me by my given name - they are to use Mrs.
I suppose I am old fashioned with my personal hierarchy but it works well for me.

4 moms found this helpful

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

it's a professional relationship. call her mrs, miss or mr.
of course you're equals. addressing someone with professional courtesy does not imply lesser status.
khairete
S.

7 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Mr. or Mrs. unless they ask to be called by their first name.
I'm pretty sure all my kids' teachers have done the same thing with me, they've always called me Mrs. S.
Seems more professional and respectful, not to mention just good manners, IMO.

5 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Suz said it well. This is a professional relationship, so Mr. or Mrs. is polite unless s/he has asked you to do otherwise. I teach high school, and I've never had a parent address me by my first name unless we know each other outside of school. I address them by their last names, as well.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Unless they say otherwise, Mr/Mrs/Ms whoever. Same as if I were talking to my child. I feel it is always best to err on the side of formality unless told otherwise.

4 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Unless the teacher says "Please call me...". Then I refer to Ms., Mrs., Miss, Mr.

4 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have never called them by their first name. However, I do call one of my daughters resource teachers by her first name because she has always signed her emails to me like that and when she calls, she says, "Hi F., its Sue...", instead of Mrs. _____, so I do that with her, but no one else, they are all Mr/Mrs/Miss _______. And the first time I meet a new teacher and they call me Mrs. ____, I always say, "Please call me F.". I will only call them by their first name if they ask me to, and I don't recall that any of them have. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Mrs. ____________. Always. She's never corrected me, so I assume that is the way she wants to be addressed.

3 moms found this helpful

D.S.

answers from Columbus on

To me it will always be Mr./ Mrs./Ms, even if we're equals or if they're younger.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

As a teacher I always feel disrespected when a parents calls me by my first name. I know they don't go into their Dr's office and say "Hi Joe". I feel as a professional we earn the respect. However once their child is no longer in my room I ask them to call me by my first name

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I always assumed it would be first names but in my son's preschool the teachers go by Miss/Mrs. Last name. They call me Mrs. Last name too. Now I would feel wierd doing anything else.

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Always Mr./Ms./Mrs. unless they tell me otherwise. My son's kindergarten teachers told me otherwise as did his first grade teacher. Everyone else gets the proper title...kids around or no.

2 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I refer to my daughters' teachers as Mrs. LastName, and they do the same for me. When the kids were in preschool I referred to them as Ms. FirstName, since that was what the children called them and how they introduced themselves.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

Using a title (Mr, Ms, etc) is NOT saying that someone is "above" you. It's a respectful way to address someone until they feel they know you well enough to ask you to address them in another way.
Better to err on the side of respect and "old fashioned" ways of being polite, in my opinion.
Joseph's kung fu teacher: we called him "Sifu" for about 11 months whether Joseph was there or not, until he started saying "Hey, this is __". Now we call him by his name when talking, just the adults.
When introducing myself to people, even just casual acquaintances, I give them my first name. But it rubs me wrong for strangers on the phone (like when ordering something or whatever) to use my first name like we're friends or something. It puts my guard up and makes me feel uneasy. The only reason I don't correct them or go off on them is because I know they're just reading a stupid script and "have to". For all business relationships though, I do prefer Mrs C unless I've developed a relationship over a little bit of time...not because I'm in any way above them but because it helps even when being friendly to have a little line that says "we're not best buddies, this is still my job". It helps me remember to be professional as well as helping others to remember it's a professional relationship or even a friendly partnership.
Boundaries aren't bad things. Nor are they made to make someone feel small, so I wouldn't take it that way.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Denver on

Funny- I always stress about this! I always start out with Mrs. Mr., Ms. Sometimes, say in an e-mail, they will sign it with their first name. I still usually go with Mr, etc, unless they tell me to call them by their first name.

1 mom found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

If the teacher has offered by email or by word, use of his or her first name, I use the first name. I ALWAYS offer my first name because I like hearing my first name rather than hearing Mrs. so-and-so.

Dawn

1 mom found this helpful
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C.G.

answers from Chicago on

I always address my child's teacher as "Mrs.". To me, it isn't about being equals, it's about our relationship. We're not friends, so I don't think about calling her by her first name. Funny, with our kids and our adult friends, we have them say "Mr." or "Mrs." with the adult's first name, for example "Mr. Tom". That's because we are friends - so they can use the first name, but there is a respect level for adults, which is why we have them use the title.

Not sure if that makes loads of sense or even helps! At the end of the day, I guess it all lies in what you feel comfortable with.

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

If there are no kids around I will call them by their first name but any time a child is around it is Mr or Mrs/Ms.

Seems like a lot of teacher ask the kids to call them Ms Sue as an example. In that case if that is what they want the kids to call them I will use their first name around the kids as well.

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

It all depends on how the teacher introduces themselves. If they introduce themselves with their first name I use the first name if they use Mrs/Mr First/Last name that what I use.
I also do the same with my kids. I let them introduce themselves to adults so the adults can use what ever title they want.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

even those that are much younger then me are called by Mr, Ms or Mrs. There are a few teachers who my kids had years ago that I do address by first name occasionally, but usually not if kids are around to hear. These are teachers that we had a very special connection with either because they have a child the same age as ours or we shared something special. It's a matter of respect for their position, you are NOT an equal to them, that is like saying you are an equal to your parent's boss. No they are not your boss but they are in authority over someone so you give them the formal greeting title. They also address ME by MY title, and call me Mrs. as they have respect for my position as well. Again, when not around children we may use first names if it's not a teacher situation (like say we run into each other while shopping).

Basically you should assume that unless invited to do otherwise you should address them all with their formal title.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I address her by her first name when we are one on one and Ms....in front of kids.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I always respond to them as Mr or Mrs. My girls are in high school and some of the teachers have nicknames (shortened last names with no Mr. before it). I don't use the nicknames. Maybe it's old fashioned, but I see it as a form of respect.

Now, the principal of our middle school, whom I have no respect for,I call by his first name. In our home and with friends we have a not so nice nickname that we use and we allow are kids to use it to.

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