8 Month Old Won't Hold His Bottle

Updated on March 09, 2008
M.W. asks from Fishers, IN
29 answers

Hi ladies,

I was around a baby over the weekend who is a week younger than my son. He will my 8 months on the 9th of March and he won't hold his bottle. I put his hands on the bottle and he just drops it, even if that means the bottle falls out of his mouth, he'll cry then I put the bottle back in his mouth with his hands on it and he leaves them there but applies no pressure to hold it up so... his hands eventually he just drops his hands.
What would you recomment that I try? He can place it in his mouth as well as the paci.... he just won't hold it in place......
Please help, I need to start giving him some independence since I also have a 1 1/2 yo and I run like crazy....
Thank you!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you ladies for taking the time to respond to me. I do feel he misses on a LOT of attention with my busy toddler running through the house. It's so easy to put him in a swing or the bjorn and go about the daily duties.
I decided to enjoy his need to be babied more - since my dd was holding her bottle at 5 or 6 months ;) I don't mind... I just wanted to make sure it was a reason for concern. Again, thank you!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Cleveland on

my son never held his bottle. i held it for him. A baby should be held for every feeding anyways so theres no need for them to have to hold thier bottle if you are holding it for them. Too many parents are so lazy that they just leave babies with bottles in thier cribs for the infant to fend for themselves. Now if by like 18 months he cant hold a sippy cup them Id worry.

M. mommy to 7yr old Darien, 2yr old allison and 1 month old T.J.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Don't expect him to hold his bottle....until it is time, in a few months, to wean him to a cup.
Enjoy this time with him, it won't last much longer.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

Avent has these convertable bottles that have detachable handles, and you can switch out the top for a bottle or a sippy cup. I started my daughter with just the bottle, then added the handles (with the nipple on top), and soon I will switch the top to a sippy. (Let me know if you need help finding these.) It works wonderfully. Sometimes my daughter won't hold the bottle when she's tired, but when she has energy (even in the morning!) she will hold her own cup.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

Why don't you just hold it for him and take the time to snuggle and enjoy him being a baby? My kids only got/get a bottle a few times a week when I was out because I mostly breastfed. My husband would never think about making the baby (she's currently 7 months) hold her bottle so he could walk away. One of the best benefits of breastfeeding is that one-on-one prolonged contact several times a day. In fact, many experts warn against propping up a bottle or having the baby hold it - they say you should take the time to interact with your baby. I love feeding time... it forces me to slow down and sit and "do nothing" but I know I'm doing something... I talk with her, smile and make goofy faces and sing. Mealtime is a great bonding time.

I'm busy too, and my kids are extremely independent (to a fault at times). I have 3 young children at home and I play ice hockey 4-5 times a week on top of all the preschool/school volunteer stuff I do. I think it's because I'm so busy that I really do appreciate having to sit down for 10-15 minutes every few hours to feed the baby.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.T.

answers from Cleveland on

If you are holding your baby, and giving him the benefits of family bonding during his feeding time, it really doesn't matter if he holds it or not. If he wants to hold it also, which he would be learning from you by watching, then he can help to hold it. But if he wants to relax and enjoy your warmth and company while he eats, can you blame him? I don't see bottle holding as a milestone. When he sits in a highchair and learns to hold a cup - then that would be a milestone. It all goes by so fast... Enjoy feeding him because it's going to be over in the blink of an eye.
I understand that you have a daughter who also needs your attention, but you'll learn to juggle - don't under estimate yourself!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Feeding time, whether by bottle or at the breast, is a time for parents and babies to connect and bond. Bottle propping isn't recommended because it basically eliminates that important time --> your 8 month old deserves all of the in-arms time and attention that's supposed to happen during feedings, and you won't regret it either because this time passes SO quickly and they grow up SO fast!

Of course, trying to parent 2 babies at once can be a challenge (I've been there, too!), and yes, there's a lot of running around involved! Have you tried wearing your 8 month old in a sling or other carrier while you feed her the bottle? That would make you quite mobile and able to attend to your 1 1/2 yr old's needs while at the same time meeting your 8 month old's needs of close contact and your holding the bottle during feeds.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Lima on

My now 6 yr. old never did hold her own bottle. She too could put in her mouth etc. but never wanted to hold her own bottle.
I feel now that it was a bonding issue. She wanted the closeness of me holding the bottle and feeding her.
Amazingly, when she was old enough to go on regular milk, she took right away to a sippy and I no longer had to hold it for her.
I know how relieved you feel when they do start to do things for themselves, it frees up a little of your time!!!!!!!
I also have a 19 month old, and she finally started holding her own bottle but not until she was over a year old.
It is a very confining feeling, but I still wouldn't worry too much until they are a year old and are old enough to go on regular milk.
Later you will appreciate the bonding time. As now my 6 yr. old doesn't like to be held and cuddled quite like she used to be.

L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't think I would worry about it too much. Every child develops at their own pace, which I'm sure you've heard often. My daughter, who is now 14 mos. didn't start holding her own bottle until probably 10 mos. or later. I would always just hold the bottle for her (or prop it up) not thinking that she should be doing it on her own. Then one day, it came out of her mouth and she picked it up and put it back in like she had been doing it for months. Your son will do the same.

Kids get to the point where they don't want us doing everything for them. It's all part of the growing process. Don't stress yourself out about it.

Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.S.

answers from Columbus on

I think your little one will figure out how to hold his bottle eventually. My son didn't hold his sippy cup until he was almost 10 months and even now (12 months) he doesn't want to hold it all the time... Hang in there.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Tampa on

My son never held his own bottle. We were worried about it when we introduced the sippy, but he never had a problem holding that. He was completely weaning from the bottle by 13 months, but even during the transition, he would hold the sippy but not the bottle. Sometimes kids just crave that closeness. I breastfed for 10 months so I think he liked the "together" time. Try not to rush it - I bet you will miss it soon. He will show his independence in other ways soon.

Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I only breastfeed so this wasn't an issue for me - I had to hold my baby, not just the bottle! But when it came to sippy cups he didn't get it until he was past a year (typical of breastfed babies because they don't have the bottle to practice with).
First I got him cups with straws and then I would hold the non-straw types for him. It was a little annoying at meal times. I suggest getting the type of bottles that have the attachable handles so he has more to hold on to. Put his hands on the handles and he should pick it up at some point.

Good Luck:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.J.

answers from Indianapolis on

I know you are busy! I have an 9 month old and a 2 year old. My 2 year old was bottle fed and never held his own bottle. My 9 month old is mostly breastfed, but gets a bottle before bed and although she can hold it, she normally doesn't. I am fine with that though because I know that it is hard to get my cuddle time in. By holding the bottle for her, I know that I am getting a chance to hold and cuddle my baby. They grow up so fast and my 2 year old doesn't want mommy to cuddle him nearly as often now.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Hey I don't remember how old my son was when he first started holding his own bottle, but I would say it was around nine months or so, I sometimes had other things to do, so I started laying him on the floor or in his playpen with his bottle, at first I propped it a little, but he soon started holding it on his own and ended up prefering this position because it was more independent and he could control it more... I know they say not to prop a bottle, but I feel as long as someone is in the room to make sure they don't choke and also at 8 months he had the ability to take it out and all, so I just thought that I would share my info with you, hope it helps some

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

He probably just likes having you hold it. And if he is stubborn, he won't hold it himself unless HE sees it beneficial to do so. I went through the same thing. My two girls are 15 mo. apart (BOTH stubborn and strong-willed). I think my youngest didn't want to hold the bottle because it was her way of getting more of my attention. Maybe your 1 1/2 could "help" you hold it?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from South Bend on

Make sure the bottle is small enough for his hands. The 4 oz. born free bottles are the perfect size. My little guy can't hold any other bottles. Also, my son learns through imitation. We would demonstrate it for him or have other kids show him how to do it. I know this won't fly with some moms, but we would start by propping the bottle with a blanket while he was in his car seat or another slightly reclined position. Then we would put his hands on the bottle so he could get the feeling of how to do it.

I don't know though. Now that he feeds himself, i miss donig it for him.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi M.,

my little guy (also 8 months old, will turn 9 months on the 25th) just started to roll over. I thought he will never start moving from his back position (which also gave him a pretty flat head on the back). But I really wouldn't worry. Now je is all over the place, rolling through the entire house. Julius also just found out to hold his bottle all by himself. I can imagine that you would like to get him a little bit independent but they have there own pace of moving on. I always gave Julius empty water bottles to play with, maybe that helped him, holding his bottle. But really, there is no "supposed to" in the world of baby development, that's what I figured out. I give my little guy the time he needs to develop the skills. Maybe some more experienced moms have a better recommendation, I can only tell you what helped my little guy. Take care!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

i hate to say this you can be mean and say you don't get any milk if you don't pick it up but my four year old held his bottle really early and my almost two year old took forever. so i just kept doing it for him and not even asking him to do it. and eventually he took control and wanted to do it himself. same with eating. my first one caught on quicker. or it could be the fact we have to sit with them and that is what they want. i know it is frusterating but eventually he will say that he wants to do it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My first daughter (now 4) would never do that either. In fact, she was over a year old and still wanted me to hold her bottle/sippy cup. My 17 month old twins both very early held their own bottles. I think it just depends on the child. My daughter just stopped one day and started holding it herself. I just kept letting it drop. I think the problem might have been that I would just do it and not think anything about it. I just kept telling myself not to make too big a deal about it because she wouldn't go to kindergarten and still need someone to hold it for her.

J.
mom of 4 year old girl
17 month old boy/girl twins

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Cleveland on

I would give it another month before worrying. Is he eating many solids? Once he's feeding himself crackers, etc. is when he should be holding his bottle.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Evansville on

My daughter never held her own bottle. She did her sippy cup from 9 months on, but NEVER the bottle. I just figured she wanted me with her. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I have a perfect solution for you. Hold the bottle for your baby. Put your 1 1/2 year old in front of something that interests him, be it TV, books, toys he hasn't seen in awhile, and if he's not well trained....a playpen or crib. And then feed your baby. He obviously wants your attention. You only have to do this for 4 more months.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Personality coming out, and from what I've seen personally a more independent baby isn't always "better off". That being said, some children tend to want to rely on others more. My son was half breastfed, half bottle, and didn't hold he bottle on his own til later I remember. Heck, he would have let you hold his sippy cup at 18 months if he could get you to do it!!! How has it panned out at almost 5...he CAN dress himself and does when I don't have time to stop and help...he CAN pick out his own clothes, and he CAN brush his own teeth, put o his own shoes, color in the lines, sound out words...he CAN...but if your not on your toes, he will have you doing it. He's very busy body and bright but really lazy personality.
I didn't fret over the bottle holding, my sister, and my sons dad did with their other children. Their solution, put them in their chairs give them the bottle and walk away. When the baby got thirsty, they would pick the bottle up and drink from it. I adjusted by doing the whole hold the bottle with the chin, the phone with one hand, baby in the arm and writing with the third hand until he started doing it. (OK I tried to sit down but seriously it is out of the question!)But I enjoyed, and miss that time where he would just sit cuddled in my arms!
Best of luck in whatever you choose to do!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Canton on

He's too young. Some of mine didn't hold their own bottles until after age 1

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.K.

answers from Canton on

My daughter did the same thing. She didn't start holding it by herself for feedings until she was about 11 months old. She could hold the bottle just fine since she was much younger, just wouldn't do it during feedings. I think she liked for me to do it...it was our special moments of togetherness and she enjoyed me holding it. The way I got her to start on her own was two ways: the first was during meal times, putting the bottle on her tray and prompting her with positive verbal reinforcment. The second way was started with sippy cups. She took to the sippy cups right away with independence and she was so proud of herself. Hang in there and for now enjoy those precious moments with her still being a little one, totally dependant on you!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

First I want to acknowledge how frustrating I know this can be. I worked in an infant room and found great freedom once they reach this milestone. That being said, it is different with every child. I watch my nieces now and the older one didn't hold her own until almost ten months, her sister (now 10 months old) starting holding hers at 6 months. My advice is to not put the bottle in his mouth, but hand it to him. If he's reaching out and grabbing it, he can hold it. It may be a little awkward for him at first - you might have to hand it to him several times, but as long as you stop putting it in his mouth for him - he'll quickly get that he has to do it. It is still a bonding time - if he's done it in the past but starts dropping it a lot or other things like that - he may just want your attention. Maybe try staying nearby and talking to him while he does it. I know on some days my niece wants my attention because she will eat baby food on those days. Most days she pigs out on self-feeding table foods and won't tolerate me trying to feed her, but some days she ignores the table food and I have to sit with her and spoon feed her and I'm pretty sure she just knows the difference in the amount of attention she gets. I've had a lot of success with the handing them the bottle but not putting it in their mouth approach so I hope that helps. I don't think you're being "lazy" or are abandoning your child - I have 2 three year olds and a 5 1/2 year old in my house everyday who also need my attention so I understand that need.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

I don't remember when my olderst (13 yrs) started holding her bottle. By my 2 yr old boy and 4 year old girl started around 6-7 mo. But then I have my littles 9 mo. he just started holding his bottle. He has been more interested in playing with mommy or daddy's mouth or wrarpping his little fingers around our finger. To be honest, I'm enjoying him being a little more dependant on us. I understand that it can be hard to tend to the older one when the baby needs a bottle, but in a few month you will miss the bonding time you have when feeding your little guy.

Don't rush his development... My sister has a little girl that is 3 weeks younger then my little guy and that are both deleloping quite differnt. She is able to give kisses and he can't, he can craw and she can't... all babies are different!

Take care!!! And enjoy your little ones!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.H.

answers from Terre Haute on

Hi M. - I have 4 grandchildren, and when my 18 month old granddaughter was 8 months, she was having the same problem as well as not picking things up and putting them up to her mouth (ie: cheerios, etc.) She was a little behind in her development of her small motor skills, and at about 10 months she was on track and doing everything. It is frustrating (my 26 year old son is raising her on his own), but if you have concerns, talk with your child's pediatrition (our's suggested contacting an agency called First Steps, but we didn't need to). Hope this helps. God Bless. P. H.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I dont really have any advice, my son is now 18 months and he wouldnt hold his bottle until he was about 10 months and walking. Maybe he likes that mommy holds the bottle is might be a security thing. I use to get really frustrated that my son wouldnt hold his bottle but after coaching him and reminding him of what he needs to do over and over again. I know they cant respond but I think they know.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches