5 Year Age Difference Between Kids?

I don't see a lot of negatives, my son is 7 and my daughter 2 - they play great together, he looks after her and can watch her for a few minutes if I need to hang some washing out.
they like similar things, my son still likes thomas, my daughter does too, they both love to swim and walk and cycle, I am racking my brain, but I can't think of any negatives

My sister and I were 6 years apart and got along great! Being so much older than me we were not really in any competition with each other. Being older than me she was very protective of me and we were very close growing up.
When I got a bit older I did want to "follow" her around and was a pest at times when she was trying to be grown up but other than that I honestly can't think of any negatives ")

Well it seems to be the same story as other posters. My mom and aunt were 7 years apart. They never were on the same page or got along till they were in their 20's. So I guess if you can deal with all the childhood discord, in the end they will love eachother(lol)

My son is 4 and the baby is due at the end of January... so He'll be about 4.7 when the baby's born...

I found a book called: Making Me: The Pregnancy Activity Book for My Brother or Sister.... Each day you read about the baby and do an activity... My son seems to enjoy it... I've modified some of activities to fit his age... I also bought a book about what to expect when the baby gets here to focus on the last 2 months of the pregnancy.

I let him hug and kiss my belly... put stickers on it... whatever he wants so he feels he is apart of the pregnancy... He's been to my midwife appts.. etc...

We weren't sure we wanted another one and decided to see what happened within a timeframe... We didn't actively try but the baby came so we took it as it was meant to be...

We see how adjustment period goes when the baby gets here... I think preK will help me and my son that way I can focus on the baby when he's at school and then give him his special mommy time after school...

My kids are 5 years apart and it is wonderful! Don't be apprehensive...it's a very good experience. My son just loves his younger sister to death and she just adores him. He is proud of each new milestone she reaches and tries to help her along the way (she is now 10 months old). She wants to copy her big brother in everything he does - already! It has only been 10 months but I can already see that my son cannot imagine life without his sister...she is important to him. Feel free to email me anytime if you want to chat!

Well my kids are 4 years apart... just so happened that way.
My kids, LOVE each other and are very close.... we have no problems with their age difference.
My oldest is a girl... so I don't know if that makes a difference, but she is very caring toward her little brother and they both play together, well.. ...and are cognizant of their differing developmental abilities because I teach them about that. So that they play well together...

We had a 2nd child, because we did not want my daughter to be by herself... in the future. When I gave birth to my son, my 2nd child, my daughter came to see me at the hospital and INSTANTLY loved being a big sister... and she told EVERYONE "Mommy had brother for me..." that was the way, she as a little child, felt about it. She was so proud.. and loved having a sibling. Even now, she will say "I'm glad to have my brother...." even if she was an 'only' child, for 4 years.

It is all in how you "prep" your eldest child.... per any upcoming siblings... so that they can 'adapt' to it and understand what "family" is and what a "sibling" is... during my pregnancy with my 2nd, I spent MOST of my time prepping my eldest child for her sibling and her brother in my tummy... I didn't focus on myself or "my" pregnancy... but focused the experience on my daughter... so that she bonded with her little brother, while I was pregnant... even taking her with me to my Prenatal exams (which my Doctor encouraged) and my Doctor even taught her how to use the Doppler heart monitor on my tummy. Therefore, she was a 'part' of the pregnancy... not just an 'outsider' or observer... but a PART of it... already... and adapting to it. I always, included her in things... even before my 2nd child was born.
That is important. For my daughter therefore, she had already formed a type of 'relationship' with her baby brother, while I was still pregnant..... and felt caring about it all.

And, you have to spend a lot of time, on the eldest... and I would tell my daughter, that no matter what she "was my first baby and always will be...." (but I tell that to her privately, not 'comparing' she and her brother...).

All the best,
Susan

I JUST read an article that says to have baby #2 either before 13 months (because they dont know any better) or after 4 years (because they are starting school and dont need as much attention from you as they used to) Im sure it will be fine.

My sons are 5 years apart. They love each other, but there were many years they really didn't play much together because of the age difference. I really think it depends on their personalities and common interests though. My two are very different. However now that they are older they have become much closer.

I would not let this stop you if you would like another child. There are never guarantees in regard to how siblings will get along. My sister and I were 2 and 1/2 years apart. We love each other, but fought like cats and dogs.

I saw someone write they always got stuck being the babysitter as the older child. I never did that to my older son. Yes, on occasion when I ran up to the store. Or I gave him a choice and offered to pay him if we would be out for the evening on the weekend. I never asked him to give up his activities and so he never had that resentment.

We have boys 4.5 yrs apart. Our baby plans were slightly interrupted when we decided it was time for DH to go back to school. I was a little curious about how the almost 5 yr old would adjust. We did not experience any even slightly negative issues (with the boys or with our own adjustments to being newborn parents again). Those boys are the best of brothers. K has always been very caring for D. D was often the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the first one he ran to at the end of the day.

But...! You knew there would be a but, right? = )

At age 9.5 and almost 5...Well, they can go from best friends to feuding in 60 seconds. And just when you step in the settle the dispute, they are best friends again. *sigh*

But my theory is that all siblings have their good moments and their bad moments. The age difference is just one of the obstacles they will navigate around and figure out. We all did it with our siblings. My sister and I were born sort of close together and really didn't dig each other from 8yrs until 18yrs.

My son (7 1/2) and my daughter (2 1/2) are best of friends. I didn't expect the two would play together but my son really liked having another kid around. Even when it was just his baby sister. He especially liked her once she could run. They chase each other all over the house, build forts, play "monster", etc. Both my kids have benefitted from their sibling relationship. My son has learned to share and think of others--something he was not forced to do prior to having a little sister. My daughter has also learned to share (we're still working on that one). She talked earlier, in fact her first word was my son's name, Jonah (she called him "No-nah" until recently ), at 5 months. She looks forward to seeing him and really misses him when he is in school. I love their relationship and I treasure their very special bond.

I will warn you that a challenge has been explaining (over and over) why my children have different rules. My son often says it is not fair when he can't do things that she can do. He doesn't want to understand that she still needs help to do things like cleaning her room but I ask him to do it without assistance. This has been a more recent problem and we are making progress.

We also had great family support in making my son feel special with a new baby around. We included him in picking things out for the baby and focused on the "big brother" part of the experience more than the "new baby" part during the pregnancy. We also had him stay with us in the hospital the last night we were there. We watched movies and ate snacks. This really helped them bond from the beginning because he associated her with him getting to do cool "big brother" things.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hi L.P.,

I have a 5 year old son and a 6 month old son and its WONDERFUL!! My 5 year old just LOVES his baby brother and does all sorts of things to help daddy and I with him!:o) I just let my 5 year old know while I was pregnant (he was 4 at the time), that after I had the baby, that I would needs lots of help and would be spending a lot of time with him. He fully understood this and we do something special each day together so that he doesn't feel left out. Daddy does this as well!

I hope that this helps!:o)

I. K.

My sister and I are 5 years apart. When we were young it was fine. There were times that she felt jealous, I was the younger one. The only problem is that we never shared any hobbies or interests, we were completely different in the things we liked. I married at 23, she married at 32. She doesn't have kids and I have two. We aren't close now, at all!!!
I have two girls and they are 4 1/2 years apart (wasn't planned that way, it just happened). She doesn't take any interest in them like I had hoped. So my goal is to nurture my daughter's relationships as they grow older so that they remain friends in their adults years!!!

Although I never planned to have my babies 5 years a part that is the way worked out. My oldest daughter cried happy tears when I told her we were having another baby...then when my youngest was 3 she made a Mother's Day card for her other mommy (her big sister). Just yesterday my youngest told me her best friend is her sister.
My oldest went to kindergarten soon after I gave birth to her sister. As a result I was able to give my youngest the same kind of individual, uninturupted attention I gave my oldest. So although I would never have willing planned this 5 year gap I highly recommend it!

There is a 5 year difference between my husband and his brother. He remembers feeling like he had to fight for attention. Now, his mother has never been good at dividing attention, or being able to focus on more then one thing. There might be some jealousy, because he's used to being your one and only. A little resentment and confusion, too. However, it should pass. My husband said after a while, it was pretty cool to help do things for his brother. Get your son involved as much as you can. Maybe, he can help with baths, picking out cloths, handing you diapers, etc. I think making him feel part of all the newness is key and he will eventually be just fine. Schedule some just you and him time, even if it's for just 10 minutes where he has your whole attention. My husband and his brother are very close and he is now glad he had a sibling to grow with.

I can't help you with my kids, but one of my best friends is 6 years apart from her little sister. I will admit that they didn't play together as children, but in about high school, they began to get close, and now they are BEST FRIENDS. They adore each other.

My mom and her sister are 12 years apart and when they get together you would never know the age difference... of course growing up I knew it was a bit tougher for them to see eye to eye with age difference but with a good family background they grew out of it (shortly after her sister entered high school, so my mom was out in the real world already) but they are super close now. If you have good family values in the end siblings can get along (may take a few years but it does happen, my mom loved helping being the older helping with everything for the baby).

Honestly I have 3 brothers, all younger (age difference 2 years, 4 years, 9 years younger then me), I get along with my youngest brother the best who is 9 years younger then me. It was easier for me to understand at a younger age that since he was younger I had to be careful and why I was not always the center of attention (with my brother who is 2 years younger then me I could not understand for the life of me why most of the attention switched to him, so we had more resentment towards each other, now we have a much better relationship that we are older).

I'm currently expecting our 2nd. Our daughter will be 4.5 yrs when her baby sister is born. She is so excited!  Now, that might change when the baby actually gets here,  but right now she is super thrilled about being a big sister.  (If course, she started asking about how she could be a big sister since before she was three...  "Mama, what store do we go to to get one?!")

Ultimately, it depends on what is right for you and your husband and the goals you have for your family.  For us, we wanted our daughter to have a sibling.  Both my husband and I have siblings and we wanted to have a slightly bigger family experience, for us and for our 1st born.  I have a cousin who was an only child and my aunt always told me how often she would complain of being lonely, no other child in the house to play or interact with.  I don't think small children complain of this, but once they get over the age of 5, I think only children often do feel a certain home-based loneliness.

We also felt that having a sibling helps both children better understand compromise and sharing, conflict resolution, compassion and empathy, and the realization that everything is not always about them.  Of course, having your 1st born develop the positives from it takes a lot of interaction and guidance from the parents.  It won't just happen on it's own...  My brother and I were 21 months a part, and sibling rivalry destroyed any kinship between us--however, I do think my mother/father could have done more to foster a better relationship between us.  (Basically, I think my brother was a child that needed more attention and one-on-one time.)

Good luck!

Any interval is going to have its positive and negatives. My sons are 4 years apart. In the beginning, it was great to have an extra pair of hands when hubby wasn't home. We set things up to enable the elder to be involved in the care of the baby (burp rags and bibs at his level so he could grab when we needed them, etc.), which helped give him a sense of being an important part of this new baby's life. Now, the elder is still great at helping out his brother and most of the time, they play great together. However, there are times that the elder can also drive my younger crazy, but I think that would occur no matter how great or small the age gap would be.

My sister and I have an even larger age gap-- I was 9.5 when she was born. I loved it when she was a baby, but not so much when I got to an age where I was expected to babysit her for free all the time, but once she became a teenager and I was in my early 20s (and out of the house), we became fast friends and have been close ever since. We still talk on the phone at least once a week and share all of the great moments of life with each other right away.

In the end, it is up to you -and your SO- to decide what is best for you and your family. If you can find ways to include everyone in the experience, adding another baby to the family can be a wonderful thing!

My kids are almost 4 years apart, a girl and a boy. They are very close. My 4 year old was able to help me a little with her new baby brother. We know a lot of people whose kids are 5+ years apart, and the kids are close. It doesn't matter at what age you have that 2nd, in the sense that your world will change when you go from 3 to 4, just as when you went from 2 to 3. Having a sibling is a real gift that not everyone gets to have. Approach it positively and never as a negative, and I would hope that your son would buy into the whole idea of being a big brother.

Good luck!

My sister and I were about two and a half years apart and fought like cats and dogs. Being so close in age, everything was a battle. My husband and his sister are five years apart. They get along great. He was old enough to help his mom a bit. He ended up with another brother quite a few years later and learned how to change diapers before I did!

He grew up around younger kids and I was always around older people or kids my own age who were growing up with me so I never knew how to deal with little kids. When I became a mother, he had a better handle on parenthood than I did.

There's nothing wrong with waiting.

I have 3 kids. They are 9,6 & 14 months. My first and second are 2 months shy of 3 years apart. My second and third are 5 years 6 months apart. My first and third are 8 years and 4 months apart.
My first 2 are boys my third is a girl.
It's my first 2 I have all the problems with, they are both super good with their sister. The problems I have are more a personality clash and general sibling rivalry at this point and has nothing to do with age difference.
I am glad they are not any closer together. I was able to give each of them what they needed as infants and wasn't pulled apart in a million directions and the older one was able to understand that I wasn't pushing them aside for the other one.
I found ways to include my older ones as much as possible so they never felt left out.
I home school the lot and everything. It has it's bumps but they honestly aren't age difference, it's typical sibling bickering that would be there no matter how close or far apart they are.

My daughter's father is 5 years younger than his brother. They were not close at all. I think it's the way the children are brought up. Their parents were divorced and their mother was always working and didn't really paid attention to them.

Now, I have a sister 1 1/2 years older and a brother who is 6 years younger. Growing up, my sister and I were close. My brother, who took my place as the baby, well, I didn't care for him much during his elementary school years. Now we all need each other and are very, very close! My little brother (33yrs) just got married and I was his Main Groomster (maid of honor). My sister was the other Groomster.

I can't wait to give my daughter who's turning four and sibling!

It really depends on the child , my sister was 5 when I was born and she really had a hard time accepting me , and when I got to the age where I could play , she never wanted to play with me (we get along really well now though) , however my husband is 1 of 4 , and the first 3 were all 17 months apart , he got along with his sister fine (she was the 3rd) but his brother who was 17 months younger , they never got along ,and still don't now.

I really think it depends on the personalities of the children ( and the gender).. My sister and I are 5 years apart and grew up fighting all the time.. Isn't that common for siblings at any age though? lol... We didn't get really close until we were older (in our 20's)... I followed her around (she was the older one) and she always begged for me to get away when we were young... I was always the one that got away with anything because I was the young one and she got blamed for most things... I say if you want another baby, go for it!

I just had my second child and they are two months short of being 4 years apart. She's only 4 months old, but I like having my son a little older b/c he's so independent and really loves helping with the baby. I initially wanted them about 3 years apart, but everything doesn't always work out the way you plan. :) I don't think you can ever be sure of how they will interact, regardless of age, but every night I tell my son that his sister will always be his best friend and he always needs to protect her....so I'm trying to instill the importance of being good to his sister and vice versa. He is always being told how great of a big brother he is and how important his role is now that he has a little sister.

I was also worried about how my son would react being the only child for 4 years, but we haven't really had any jealousy problems so far. We talked to him alot about what the baby would need and how much the baby needs her Mommy and Daddy when she's little, just like he did. And we try to keep him busy and integrate him in the care of our daugher as much as possible. He's so very sweet with her and even all the time that I spend breastfeeding, he's very understanding about it b/c again we talked to him many times about it. I think explaining how things will change and how great it will be for your son to be a big brother helps them know what to expect. We also read alot of books on becoming a big brother and he still talks about those books and will repeat things that were in the books.

One last thing to leave you with that someone told me and I never forgot it...someone once said that the greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling. Might not be for everyone, and sometimes you don't have a choice, but regardless of the issues of them being 4 years apart...I would never do anything differently. Good luck with your choice!

Hello,

If it's any consolation, my sister and I are 5 years apart and we are very close...

R.

I just had my second baby about 3 weeks ago and my first baby is 6. I can tell you that I am extremely glad that we waited to have our second baby until our first son was a little older. He is so excited about being a big brother and loves to help as much as he can. We made him a big part of the pregnancy and let him go to some of our appointments to listen to the heartbeat. We wanted him to feel special and needed so we did everything we could to help him adjust to the idea of having a baby in the house before the baby was actually here. So far the adjustment has gone really well and he loves being a big brother. I think if you prepare him and let him know what it will be like with a baby in the house, he will have plenty of time to get adjusted to the idea. Think of all the positive things (like all the things he will be able to teach his younger sibling, etc.).

I read somewhere that siblings 4+yrs apart tend to have a bipolar relationship, and are never really close until both are adults and into their 20's.

This is true for my family. I'm 4th out of 6, with the oldest 4 being 5-6yrs apart each. My little sister/brother are 7/8yrs younger than me and always had a closeness as if they were twins.

One of my sisters' two sons are 8yrs apart because of several miscarriages.

We all experienced the flip-flopping while growing up, then the great closeness as adults. I can see how that may be a negative for some, and I remember being very distraught at times as a kid (like when my big bro would go from being best friend/protector to wanting nothing to do with me, or when I was a teen and had no privacy because the younger two would gang up on me).

It was also hard at 7yo, when my sister came along and I went from having an incredible relationship with my parents to being resentful. But I had a great childhood overall, and I would think that several things could make us distraught, if its not our family, haha :).

if it works for your family to have another child, then go for it! You'll be aware of possible roadblocks and be able to head them off. Good luck!!!!!!

I have to say i am sooo glad you posted this question!! Not because i have any insite but because my son who was born 2-09-2005 is going to be a big brother around the 30th of december and i have been sooo worried about this because he is at this point an only child a major mommys boy and he is my world so i had no idea what to expect though he is excited and talks about the baby often i am still worried...so reading threw some of them really helped put my mind at easy now if something could just help with my fear that the baby would come early and i will be in the hospital for christmas or the problem of he has never slept away from mommy and daddy his bed is bunked up againsts ours in our room and i dont plan on changing that till he is ready. If you can help with any of those things i would be thrilled lol Good luck it is a big decision.

My boys are 5 years apart and I think it's great! Just make sure that you keep the older one involved with the care of the new baby. Make him a part of it and let him know that the baby needs his tender, loving care too. I also use to use the baby's milestones as a "moment" for me and my oldest as well. I would say things like "Did you see that?! I remember when you took your first step. I was so proud of you. You always were a quick learner!" This helped my older son to see his brother's babyhood through my eyes and it let him "rewatch" his own babyhood as an observer this time. I feel that this was useful in fending off any jealousy. Also, when he asked me why I wanted another baby I told him "You were always such a gem that I couldn't wait to have another!"

BTW, this isn't really that large an age difference. After all, my older sister and younger sister were 5 years apart. Just because there happened to be two of us in between doesn't make their age difference any less. Most families with more than two children have an age gap at least this large between the oldest and the youngest and it works well for most of them.

My kids are 14, 9 and 3...I would not have it any other way. I never had two in diapers at the same time, I never had to worry that I had more than one diaper bag to drag around, and the kids have all been as close and loving as could be. Now the pro's are that I have always had an older trusted child to help out, keep an eye on so I could do something as simple as run to the bathroom or as complicated as make dinner. I love my kids spread out. They are very sweet to one and other, I have always felt like because they were so far apart there was less jealousy issues.

My brother and I are 5 years apart with me being the oldest. We lived in a rural area so we pretty much only had each other to play with. We had our fights but got along and still have a good relationship. I even went and had my 2 kids 5 years apart because of the way my brother and I are. My son is the oldest and he helps out tremendously with my daughter. He looks after here and loves even playing with her. I of course dont expect him to help and have only asked a handful of times for him to help. Their ages now are 3 and 8. If you are able to stay home once your oldest is in school you get alot of one on one time with your little one. They do have their fights and they do have their times that they dont want to be around each other, but I have no problem with sharing as my oldest knows to share. I truly can not think of anything negative that has come to me or my oldest having a younger sibling that is 5 years younger.

Not sure but I will be able to tell you in a few months. My little girl will turn 5 in September and out baby is due late Jan/early Feb. :) I agree with a poster that said it depends how you raise them. I do not expect my older child to take care of the younger one. That isn't her job so that responsibility won't be placed on her. I am going to try and create a family where they can enjoy each other without stepping into their space. They are going to be in such different life places for a long time. I want them to be friends in the end. I would read the posts to find out concerns and see how to avoid them. I heard a great idea of putting a baby gate on the older child's room so that the younger isn't crawling, walking, taking toys from the older child's room etc. Best wishes.

Ohhhh I think it's great having kids 5 yrs apart! My daughter is 9 and my second child is 4. It was SOOOOOO easy on mom and dad having her be so responsible by the time he came. She used to go to all of my OB appointments and understood so much of what was going on. My 2nd and 3rd are only 2 yrs apart and that was HARD. Even to this day, it's hard having them be so close. I love having the 5 yr gap in between my first and second. She plays more of the "mommy" role to him, reads him books, plays pre-school with him, teaches him SO much and they play great together. So if you're considering having another, don't let 5 yrs scare you away from it. I also felt so much more ready for him when he was born since I had experience now and it had been so long since I had a baby in the house so it was much more exciting having a baby again. Also, I have 3 sisters, we're all 2 yrs apart, I'm 4 1/2 yrs younger than my first sister, (I'm the 3rd) and we get along better than I do with any of my sisters closer in age. So I say go for it and good luck to you!!

I'm 5 years older than my brother and my son is 5 years oler than his sister.
I got stuck being the babysitter alot growing up and got in trouble if my brothers didn't do their homework or chores so I was bossy and a bit of a bully if I felt they were going to get me in trouble. Bad idea.
So, we agreed that our son will not ever have to babysit - unless he wants to and we will pay him for it.
Our daughter is 8 months old and our son adores her, he is very patient most of the time when I have to put off helping him to take care of her - I try to do things with him when I can to make it up to him.
The age difference wasn't intentional - we tried for 2 years to have #2 so I worried too but I am thrilled with how loving he is to his Sissy and love watching her respond to Big Brother with delight.
We went over safety issues etc. before the baby came home but still have to remind our son not to try and pick her up, be gentle etc. once in a while. Don't assume the 5 year old will stop Baby from eating lint off the floor - he may just watch and laugh! ;)
We got a great book "What to Expect When the New Baby Comes Home" it's perfect for this age group - explains what the baby will look like and issues like crying, breastfeeding etc.
There's a show on TLC called Bringing Home Baby that might help too.
I am so glad things timed out this way - I had horrible morning sickness and can't imagine having to change a pull-up or diaper during it! My son can dress himself, brush his teeth and play independently and I get a nice little break when he's at Kindregarten when I can spoil the baby without feeling guilty. ;)
Watching my son be a big brother has made me love him even more - he is so generous and sweet, and in a way I get to revisit his babyhood - I was so nervous the first time around - this time I'm trying to relax and enjoy it because I know how fast it will go by!

Where shall I begin? I think you'll find some who are totally against spread out ages, and those who are all for it, due to their personal experiences. Each child's personality is going to be different, as is each family. So it may work well for some families, and not well for others. You just have to approach it in a positive manner.

I have a 23 year old son born in 1987. It was just he and I as I was a single mother at that time. We were alone for nearly 6 years and all we had was each other. I always wanted more children but couldn't imagine loving another child like my first.

We then met my now husband. We were together for 2 years when we married. I was pregnant with my second, his first at that time. So when my 15 year old son was born my oldest was 8. I didn't know how 8 years difference was going to work but we put our best foot forward. After all, I couldn't reverse time.

The boys adored each other, until after #2 turned 1 and hit him over the head with a plastic toy hoe. From that moment on he became disinterested. Long story short, #1 had some disorders so his dealing with his little brother negatively had to do with his disorders and HIS personality. He's attempting now to get closer now that he is seeing him growing up but they live a few hours away.

#2 was 9 years old by the time we decided to finally have #3. We waited until our "marriage was in a better place", which I laugh about now, lol. But #3 turned into #3, #4, and #5, as we found out we were having triplets. I was concerned about #2 and how he would handle it. Would he unintentionally be left out or pushed aside? Would the triplets get enough of my attention as they were going to be the same age.

When the triplets arrived, we involved #2 as much as possible. #1 was mostly gone by this point. We made sure that #2 and Dad spent time together, running errands together, and he and I would go to movies while Dad took a turn staying home with the triplet babies. Dad would take #2 to ballgames, etc. He still played sports as much as possible. We allowed him to change diapers and feed the babies, as much as he wanted. He was volunarily involved with the babies. We put in an effort to give each child time. It wasn't always much time but the time we gave was QUALITY, still is.

As school was going, the triplets would get a later nap so when #2 got home from school at 3pm I would have one hour alone with #2 while the triplets napped so I could see how his school day went and have some time to chat and go over homework and have a snack. Once 4pm hit, the triplets got up, and #2 gave hugs to the triplets, spent a short time playing with them and went off to his room for quiet time and homework.

My triplets are now going to be turning 6 in October. #2 gets driven nuts at times by 3 children, but he loves them, spends time with them inbetween his own time (he's 15 now) and enjoys teaching them things. We still encourage them to listen and respect their older brother, give him space when he needs it, and makes sure #2 gives as much patience as possible. We encourage lots of hugs and kisses and loving times. Do they fight? Yup! Especially one of the triplets who looks and acts like #2 and worships him, but he's still learning to get positive attention and not negative.

It can work and it can work well! Just schedule times for each child just for them and even if it's 10 minutes make it the best 10 minutes you can give! Encourage positive attitudes from both siblings at all times and remind that that you're one big happy family!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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I had children in the following order
daughter in june 82
son in august of 88 (6 year span)
son in january of 90 (17 mo span)
son in June of 95 (5 year span)

I had more fighting etc with the middle 2 than any of the others lol. of course they are really close now at 20 and 21. older daughter and younger son are very very close. the cool thing about your age span is the younger will get the benefits of being an only while older one is in school. but older one will get the benefits of being able to be a big brother.

I am 5 years older than my brother and we didn't get along growing up. It also depends on how you raise them, and the type of personalities they have. If you want baby number 2 I say go for it !!! I also have a brother who is 18 years younger than me lol !!! Siblings are going to fight and be at each others throats and some point .... its like a right of passage or something :) My girls are 3 years apart and fight all the time so I don't really think there is a "right" time for adding more members to the family !!! Good luck

My sister in law and brothers kids are five years apart. the oldest is five years older than the middle child and the middle child is five years older than the youngest child. I would say that the youngest and the middle child fight with each other. It is more the middle one complaining about the youngest young. The oldest helps with the youngest one and the middle one.
He is laid back so he does not let them bother him too much. I would think that you need to think about the consequences if having another child if the other one is the apple of your eye. I would talk to your child and ask him if he wants a brother or sister? When my SIL had the second child the oldest was excited and in turn were both excited when they had their sister. He could help out with the baby. Just remember it is a big adjustment going from one to two.

I agree that it depends on the child. My first and second child are 4 1/2 years apart. Even after two years, my oldest still resents his little brother. He admits to being jealous. We have tried focusing special days on him, and it makes things worse. He wants all the attention all the time. Although he says he isn't jealous of his baby sister. Maybe being the opposite sex helps, feels less like he's being replaced. We tried to include our oldest during both pregnancies.

me and my brother are about 7 years apart. one of the worst things he's done to me is slap me twice, shoved me out of his room and slammed the door shut in my face when i was like 4 or 5. I just wanted to borrow one of his gundum figures for my doll house. now im 11, turning 12, and hes 18. But a good thing he has done, was when i was being bullied he came into the school and demanded something to be done, and boy was he MAD. in the end the bullying stopped and everything was good, he also used to like picking me up, spinning me around, and throwing me onto his bed, we also play wrestled together, and with dad. whenever i got hurt he'd always comfort me and help me. but he does has a temperament, so i try not to get him mad. especially because hes much older then me.