1 1/2 Month and Sleeping

M.,
I found that when my son was that young, I swaddled him really tight and had a vibration thingy that clipped onto the side of the bassinet. There is something about the movement that calmed him. Although he liked the swing too, for sleeping, however, I found that the bassinet was better on his little body.
They sell clip-on vibrators and also have built-in ones on some bassinets.
Hope this helps.

My daughter absolutely hated the bassinet and would just wail away when ever she was put in it. Even at 2 weeks, she wanted to be in her own crib. I think it has something to do with the fact that bassinets do not feel real stable. Even the swings are a lot more stable feeling. Try getting one of those little pack-n-play travel cribs. Those work really well.

Good Luck,
K.

P.S. My daughter also loved her swing, and spent many nights and naps in hers. She's five now.

Have you tried a heating pad to warm up the bassinet first? My 5 week old will only sleep in his bassinet if he's swaddled and if I've warmed it up first with a heating pad. I hold him until he's asleep and then I remove the heating pad and put him down. Good luck!

How does he feel about his car seat?

My friend's child liked it, being curled up a bit, and hated her crib and bassinet, being stretched out. Her doc. recommended putting the baby in the carseat (strapped) and putting the car seat in the crib.

That worked like a charm.

I, on the other hand, held my daughter all night long. She is now 7 1/2 and moved into her own bed after winter break. Yes, it was a long haul to get her there. More like unofficial peer pressure...the need to learn to sleep in her own room with out me, so she could do it on the class camping trip in May (2 nights away at camp).

If you don't want him in your bed for the next few years, work hard to help him adjust now.

Stephanie

i think its so normal for a tiny baby to want to be near you. i understand your frustration, but try to understand that you have given your first so much in this way that now you are overextended and you are putting lots of pressure on everyone! like having a newborn isnt disorienting enough!

soooo, that being said, dont freak out that your newborn will be sleeping with you forever. my favorite way to get my baby to stay asleep is to "sling him down" in my ring sling, then loosen up on the sling so i can lower him into his cradle in his warm sling and then wrap it around him like a swaddle. this has the best success for keeping him asleep.

i also have a 3 y.o. and i have found a few things that may be of interest to you --

i thought my newborn was really high maintenance with sleep and tummy issues for a while, until i realized that i just wasnt taking time to relax with him. i would nurse him and rush him and get up right away to deal with big brother. he is a pukey kid, so this doesnt work. i forced myself to just sit down for 15-20 minutes after he ate and just let him settle. are you trying to get your newborn to fall asleep quickly because you have to do other things?

we went on vacation and all shared a bed and one night when my older boy was overtired he accidentally kicked the baby in the head twice. i was horrified and realized that i needed to separate the kids when we share a bed (hard to do without a bedrail)

your baby is so young. please try to cultivate patience. it is so hard incorporating a new one into your already crazy family life, but you are choosing right now if you want to treat this person with gentleness and love or frustration and impatience. i realized i was not being realistic toward my newborn. i was thinking that he should be capable of so much more because i am used to a 3 y.o. i have chosen patience and it has made such a difference. i truly believe that my little one senses the change and is more secure.

final thought -- around 3-4 months my son seemed to fit into his body a little better. didnt seem so frustrated/uncomfortable/fussy/hard to read. everything changes so fast at this age. just try to be patient, continue to put him in his own bed -- asleep and bundled up in a sling or blanket -- and continue to pick him up and nurture him when he needs it. he deserves the best of you just as your first child got.

A baby that small is too young for crying it out. Try some books like the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley or The Sleep Lady- Can't remember the author but you can google it or www.sleepyplanet.com There are many gentle ways to get your child sleeping. One of the first things is to make sure there's no underlying health problems like GERD. Good luck!

M.-
maybe you should try one of those co-sleepers that attach to your side of the bed. Then the baby will not actually have to sleep in the same bed, but be just as close to you. You won't have to worry about your 3 year old hitting the baby.

We also used the infant car seats for our twins. We would lay them in the cradle part and leave it by our bedside (one on my side, one on my husband's side). My kids did not move much, so there was no fear of them sliding off. This worked for a few months. The only time we let them fall asleep in the swing was for a short nap.

1 1/2 months is much too young to let him cry it out. Most recommend at 6-9 months. We started our twins at 9 months.

Good luck
K.

He's only 1.5 months old & is still dealing w/the fact that he's not in that toasty warm womb anymore. He's also trying to figure out the difference between night & day as well. I also feels he's too little for the CIO method. If he likes the swing, let him sleep there. I used to put my younger son in his carseat on top to the dryer w/it running. Maybe he'd like to hear some noise of some kind while trying to sleep, like a white noise machine or some soft music. Both my boys loved their 'fishies' as we called them...the Fisher-Price aquarium that attaches to cribs & plays different songs as well as lights up a little bit. You could try that. Good luck!

Hi, I would like to suggest renting the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. I now have a 3 year old, but felt the same way you did when he was a newborn. Co-sleeping just wasn't an option my husband and I wanted to explore and wanted our son to sleep in his own space for safety mostly, he did sleep well in his swing too and this was for about 4 months. In the video/book by Harvey Karp you will discover the needs of the 5 "S's" and swinging is one of them, it mimics the womb and being rocked. Good luck and my son has no back issues and the baby will cry if he is uncomfortable. Go with what works and gets you the most rest.

M.:

He's only 6 weeks old!!!! Of COURSE he wants to be held - he just got done with 9 full months of being carried around by you. : ) For another mother to suggest that you've already "taught" him to not be able to be put down is sort of absurd (apologies to that other mother but really...). That's pretty much ignoring the whole 9-month pregnancy concept - which is kind of necessary in order to grow the little one and bring him into the world, don't you think? So - give him a chance to get used to this world before teaching him to do without your loving, wonderful embrace to get to sleep.
I think the one you really need to teach at this point is the 3-year-old although I think you're now going to struggle with jealousy issues if you try to do it now that the infant has arrived - so take care to do it in a gradual manner that doesn't foster jealousy. (I'm sure there's books and advice out there on this.)
I'd second the recommendation to try a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed for the infant. Keep in mind - safety first! So - until you transition the 3-yr-old to his own bed, be sure that the infant is separated from your hubby and 3-yr-old by you. If you don't have rails on the bed, the mattress should be on the floor.
As for cry it out - yes, 6 weeks is too young. At that age, infants cry out of NEED, not want or manipulation. Cry it out methods shouldn't be considered until at least 4 months, and I'd stay away from it until at least 6 months (if ever). I second the recommendation for the No Cry Sleep Solution book - which also may be helpful in transitioning your 3 year old. Also - studies show that many nights of prolonged crying ALONE (alone is a key factor) MAY cause neurological damage. There's lots of "ifs" and undefined terms in that sentence, but it's worth further research and thought on your part before going down that road and taking that chance. In the near term, I'd say "blue in the face" is a definite warning sign! I'm not saying these things to scare you - just to educate you that you need to have a thorough understanding of cry it out methods and the pros and cons before using them. There's both safer and more harmful ways for it to be done. Do your newborn a favor by knowing the difference.
Finally - don't worry about the swing hurting his back - he was in that position for 9 months and that's probably why he's comfortable that way. Some positions that look uncomfortable to us right now are actually MORE comfortable to an infant recently released from the womb. So, don't worry that the swing is going to cause him back problems. He'll grow out of it before that's possible.
I think your best bet, short-term, is to figure out a way to all sleep comfortably and SAFELY in the same bed or, at a minium, the same room until your infant is at least 4 months old. (I also recommend the book by James McKenna on how to safely co-sleep - which is especially critical when you have a toddler in the mix as well.) I think you'll all sleep better. Then, when the infant is 4 months old or more, start transitioning to sleep arrangements that will work better for you all over the long term.

Good luck!
Cassie

M.,

How about an Arms reach co-sleeper. This is like a bassinet and in fact can stand alone as a bassinet but you can attach it to the bed. This puts the baby in their own space but right beside you. I had our daughter in one until she as 6 months. I could lean over and put my hand on her, she was practically in bed with us but not. There is no way you can roll on to them but they are right there. Great for breast feeding. I loved mine and even though our daughter started out sleeping on me when she was tiny she had no problems transitioning to this. I had the mini co-sleeper the regular ones are quite large and I found ours on craigslist so you might look there and see if you can find one. There was also one at the "Babies and Beyond" used baby stuff store on freeport blvd in Sac last week too.
Good luck
C.

Co sleeping worked with your firstborn and he is a happy little toddler!! Good for you!! Is there way the four of you could sleep together that you would feel your newborn was safe? sleep on the outside of the bed? Have the toddler sleep on the outside and the baby in between? Is there a way the baby could sleep in the swing lying down or semi-reclining? Cuddling together is good for each and every member of the family especially in the long run to feel safe and close and protected and cared for. Getting enough sleep is hard for new mommies no matter where and how people sleep. Is there low cradle like apparatus you could try the new baby in where he could still see you as he falls asleep and you could put a hand on him and rock the cradle and sing or talk him to sleep during the day and transfer that to the night as well. Good luck you are on the right track making the most of a difficult but wonderful time in a close family. N.

Your baby is too young to let him cry it out or transition him when you have already established what he is used to. Newborns, yes 1 1/2 month old is a newborn should be picked up every time he cries. Your toddler should not be in the same bed as your newborn, whether you are there or not. Your toddler is the one who should be crying it out. He is old enough to self soothe your baby is not. Your 3 year old should be the one who is moved out of your bed. Get a small mattress or a blow up bed and move him there. Expecting your 1 1/2 month old to be the one who cries it out is crazy. Your 1 1/2 month old should not be forced into a bassinett. Sorry I sound so mean, I just don't like it when a newborn is expected to know and sleep without any help or expected to. You sound like a very loving mother and I know you are exhausted. Put the effort into putting your 3 year old in his own bed, (separate sleeping space next to your bed ona blow up bed etc until you get your own home) not your 1 1/2 month old. Good luck

Try putting a slightly used towel (mmm smells like mommy) folded around the bassinet mattress and cover it with a tshirt you have slept in/worn. Like dressing the mattress, but fold all the loose bits and safety pin it underneath so that it is tight across the top. Make sure it doesn't gap around the edges of the mattress. Your smell will comfort him.

IMO, he is too young for cry it out. For help with sleep, read M Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

Hi M.,
My husband is also a police officer, so I completely understand your desire to have him get a full night's sleep. When we had our second she was colicy for the first 3 months. The only way she could get a couple of hours sleep was either to be swaddled very tightly and walked around or sleep in the swing. It's hard right now and seems like it will be a lifetime until your baby will sleep in the bassinet, but for now I would encourage you to try the swing and sleep outside until you can get a little more rest. Then maybe try the bassinet in another room, so as not to wake your husband or tackle the transition when he is on his weekends. I never used a co-sleeper, but that may be worth a try too. It does pass, my second daughter is 2 now and sleeps very well, while her older sister who slept very well as an infant/baby, has had a few years of nightmares/night terrors and at 4 years old is just starting to sleep through the night. Go figure.

Best of luck during this transition period.

Hi M.,
Can you stand one more response? I agree with what most have said. My own children would just wail at the site of the bassinet. It's a shame that after buying such beautiful bassinets they were never used. And now I know why. They just must feel unstable and don't give the same security as mommies own arms do. At 1 1/2 months your baby just wants to be made to feel like it was in your tummy. Warm, safe and secure. That's what they NEED. If you had a plant and it was wilting and needed water you would water it right? Right. Your baby only needs the comfort of your arms right now. Do NOT attempt the cry it out thing.

Your 3 year old is old enough to sleep on the floor. Giving the fact that is all you have right now, put together a makeshift bed next to yours on the floor and keep your new born with you.

As far as you and your husband go regarding the "private time", take advantage of every minute. Even if it is a few special minutes alone in the bathroom etc. I think you know what I mean! After all, your baby is just now 6 weeks old and YOU should not have been doing much in the ALONE department up until now anyway. LOL But seriously, for the both of you to stay connected, even if you don't really want to and are very tired, take advantage of those special times. You need it and your husband really needs it. It will add spice to your marriage to sneak away to someplace other than the bedroom. Us ladies can't forget about the "Quicky". Your hard working husband will appreciate and enjoy it and so will you.

Isn't is funny we all know what "It" means!

Keep your baby close to you and your husband closer. Everyone will win!

Enjoy,
L.

Like several have said he is too young for crying out method. My dd slept for 2-3 months in the swing. Several moms have there baby sleep in the car seat (you can put it in the bassinet if it will fit).

M.,

Do you swaddle your baby? If not, you may want to try that.

My youngest son (now 14 months) loved his car seat. He slept in that until he ws 2 months old.

Good luck!

A Very Simple solution:

1. Cot or sleeping bag on the floor next your bed for the 3 year old.
(Fun! It's like camping! YAY!)

2. Infant in bed with you and Daddy.
(Cuddly, warm and secure with easy night nursing. YAY!)

3. Everyone happy and sleeping.

: )

Oh!
And P.S. Your infant is WAY too young for crying it out - if ever.

Hi M.,

Congrats on your second baby boy! Here are my thoughts:

1. I think your new baby is too young to CIO (cry it out). He's still getting used to this new world and probably enjoys your warm bodies and breathing to sleep next to. You can always break these habits later. Many pediatricians (including mine) said its fine if they are at least 14 lbs. I just didn't feel great about it at all, so we didn't do it until 13 months, and he never really cried it out, it was our own slow version with dads help.

2. My suggestion about your toddler, is get a toddler/crib mattress and put it next to your mattress or at the bottom of it (if its on the floor). If not, maybe put it flush against one of your walls and put some pillows around it in case he rolls around. Then he's still in your room (maybe he can fall asleep in your bed and you can transfer him to this new bed).

3. If #2 above works, maybe you can start sleep training your toddler into his own room once you move. You can talk about it now and get him ready for it mentally...maybe go to the library and check out a book about getting his own bed/room and make it fun for him to decorate. And if he's still unsure, just start with naps in this new room (I can tell you more about that in a separate email how that worked for us).

4. For now, keep your new baby in bed with you, until its time to move to your new home. And maybe start putting him in his bassinet after he falls asleep just for naps to start. Does he fall asleep on his own? nursing? being rocked? if so, then maybe you can transition him into his bassinet??

5. As for the time with hubby, can your dad take toddler to park while your infant naps? And then you can squeeze in some alone time? Or, while they are both napping...sneek away into the bathroom for some fun? Or maybe just some cuddling on the couch while watching a movie?

6. Another alternative to the swing, a sling. Do you have one or can you get one? The baby can sleep on you while you are doing stuff at the house, or going on a walk. I used to vaccuum sometimes with my baby sleeping on me...he liked that sound. (Check with you pediatrician about the back issue in a swing, I bet its fine because they are so flexible...they were in the fetal position for 10 months so he probably likes it).

7. One thing about his crying...I wouldn't let him cry until he's blue in the face, that sounds like he is really scared. Crying is the only way he can communicate, so by ignoring this signal, you may not be meeting his basic needs.

Keep in mind, these are only opinions and whatever you chose for your family is the right way for you. I always listened to what felt right.

Good luck to you!
A.

He's way too young for the cry it out method. They should be about 6 months old for that. Babies need constant body contact for the first four months. Maybe you can try sleeping between your toddler and your new born (with a bed rail).

I understand the lack of space problem you have as well as the lack of privacy but you will have trouble getting your 3 yr old to go in his bed when you move if you are not careful. I would make him a space on the floor in your room and let the baby cry it out. They are never too young to develope bad sleeping habits.

You've already gotten a lot of detailed advice. Sometimes you need to try several things to find something that works for you and your child. One thing that worked for me is swaddling the baby tightly. It seems kind of weird to adults, but often the tight confines of a swaddled blanket help the babies sleep, since it is like being in the womb. They even have special blankets (like the Miracle Blanket, look up on the web, which worked great for me and several of my friends). The swaddling only works in the first few months of life, but by then they are used to sleeping in their bassinets/cribs. The reason I suggest it might work is because often, if babies like to sleep in swings or car seats, it's because it is confining, and helps calm them down. They can't really control their own bodies well, and sometimes their own movements startle them so much they can't relax and sleep. Swaddling prevents that. When they get to about 4 months old, they are usually able to work themselves out of a swaddle, but then they are more able to control their bodies, too. Anyway, it's something to try, if you haven't, and it's easy and cheap.

Good luck -- sounds like a tough situation now, but you'll get through it!

Before transitioning to a crib, my third child spent about the first 3 or 4 months sleeping in her infant car seat next to our bed. I know it sounds strange, but she must have felt very snug and safe in there. Also when she started to fuss I would simply drop my arm down and grab the handle, rocking the seat gently until she stopped (which was most of the time.)
BTW, the bassinet never worked for any of my kids, we ended up using it as a toybox!
Good luck :)

Well, M., it sounds like you've gotten yourself into quite a pickle! First of all, you really need to try to make different arrangements for your 3 year old...a little pallet of blankets on the floor or something. You are going to have a hard time transitioning him back to his own spot when your living arrangements change. As far as the baby goes, since you have either held him or swung him to sleep so far, of course he's going to cry when you put him down. That doesn't mean there's something wrong. That just means it's not what he's used to. I would go ahead and put him down and let him cry for say 10 minutes, then pick him up for a bit to calm him down and put him back down and let him cry some more, making it longer and longer each time. Eventually, he will cry himself to sleep. Just make sure he's not truly hungry or wet or poopy. Try a white noise machine (we used a hair dryer on low and it was perfect!) and a vibrating bassinette. But don't give up! If you know he's not hungry, wet or poopy, let him cry a bit. It's okay! No baby has ever died from crying for a few minutes! And it won't make him an axe murderer, either! And just one other thing. I understand wanting to make sure your husband gets his sleep. But let me say this, and please don't take it the wrong way. I'm a nurse and I work 12 hour shifts, too. And I work in the ER, so they are 12 very long and hard hours on my feet and running the entire time. But when I went back to work after having my babies, I still got up with them to nurse them at night and I lived. You and your husband should be in this together. If he has to lose a little sleep for the good of the cause, there is nothing wrong with that. We women have been doing it for thousands of years. We get up in the middle of the night several times, and then still either go to our jobs during the day, or take care of our kids at home all day long the next day. Either way, it's full time jobs for us, and we've lost sleep and had to be a little tired for a while. Just have a talk with your husband and tell him, look, we've got to get this fixed now before it becomes a huge problem and before I lose my mind! So we're both going to have to lose some sleep for a while. He can wear earplugs, if nothing else! If you work on it consistently, it will be over before you know it, and your husband will be even happier than ever because you are back in bed with him...ALONE! Good luck and God bless.

Hi M.! I had similar problems with 2 out of 3 of my children as babies, and I let the newborns sleep in whatever they were comfortable in... carseats, or swingamatics. You have to remember, when the babies are inside you before birth, they're in all kinds of positions, so sleeping in a carseat or swing won't effect their backs. In your living conditions right now, everyone getting a good night's sleep, especially YOU, is important. So let your little guy sleep where he sleeps most comfortable for right now, and you go back to your nice cozy bed! Sincerely, CJ

My son is three months old now and he is now in his own room. I always thought I would be one of those moms who would want their baby to sleep in their room until the kid was in Kindergarden, but it has done wonders for him and my husband and I. We had trouble at first putting my son in his co-sleeper. He would fight it tooth and nail. I would end up putting him in bed with me but as you know nobody sleeps except him. So...we would put him in the co-sleeper and give him his pacifier and rest our hand on his belly until he calmed down. It took awhile, about three to four days but he and everyone ended up sleeping great eventually. You just cant give up and stick to your plan. He also had gas so we would sometimes put him upright in his vibrating chair at night and he loved that too. If you dont have a vibrating bouncing chair, you have to invest in one. They are the greatest.-J. B.

hmm... I'd perhaps move out the bassinette and move your 3 year old into his bed and co-sleep with the baby so he can be close to you now... definately wouldn't do the cry it out method with a little one that young - creates too much stress and he needs/wants to be held!

I am a huge advocate of co-sleeping. But it is NOT safe for a newborn to sleep with a toddler. Get an Arm's Reach co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed next to you. So your husband and toddler won't roll on your baby and potentially suffocate him/her. Your baby is used to being inside of you and does not want to be separated. We can't expect that they will happily sleep for us alone in their bassinets. This expectation will surely cause frustrations. Their sleeping patterns are different from adults. They don't need 8 hours straight. Their brains function differently and they need to wake every 2 hours to eat (a little longer stretch if formula feeding). Swaddling your baby will help him/her to sleep better. Make sure the temp is cool enough to wrap them in a blanket. Don't want to over heat your baby.
My baby slept in my arms and cuddled right next to me in my bed for 3 months. I was nursing so it made it easier. You have to get used to the sleep deprivation. It comes with the territory. Swaddling helped to make them feel secure like when they wee in the womb. Keep using the swing for naps if it is working. Or carry your bay in a sling (horizontal) while you get things done around the house. Avoid the Bjorn and upright carriers that force legs apart. Your baby is too young to try to hold his head up. The sling needs to be horizontal like the New Native Carriers or Hot Slings. Enjoy this time. It really does go fast!

A couple of things to try.

1- wear a shirt for a week straight at night (ack I know), and than lay that shirt over his bassinet mattress so he can smell you while he sleeps.
2- some parents will not advise this, but it worked for BOTH of my boys, put a thick comforter on the mattress for cushion, the mattress's on those things are HARD, no one, not even a one month old wants to sleep on something hard. If you keep him close to you, your momma ears will hear if something comes up.
3- try to put him to sleep in your bed next to you, than move him to his bed, try it for as long as it takes for him to get used to this bassinet. He's gotten used to sleeping with you, so it could be a minute.
4- try getting your 3 year old to sleep in his own bed, put a mattress on the floor next to you to put him on when he falls asleep.
5- get a bigger bed? I don't know....

Hope something helps.

K.

I co-slept with both of my boys, but both of them decided they liked their beds better than mine, I hear I am lucky.

Do you swaddle your baby? I highly recommend trying that, if you're not doing it already. Also, is there a chance he has colic or is gassy? If you're nursing, are you eating something that is upsetting your baby's tummy? Or if you're using formula, consider switching to a different brand? Good luck and I hope you get some sleep.

Dear M.,
Do not allow your baby to cry it out. He is WAY too small for it, and actually, even when he'll be older, it is such a harmful way for babies. These first three months are so very important in how baby feels his needs are met. If he is left to cry it out, he will be left with the imprint that his needs are not to be met, he does not belong, and so on. Often people say that they let their babies cry it out, and they turn "OK." This is such a myth! Babies may not remember and seem normal kids on the surface, but it leaves traces in their brains and psyche which sooner or later will manifest in relationship with others and in intimacy. So many psychological problems come from not being attended when needed and especially at this tender age. Now, there maybe things that will work. For e.g., how about a co-sleeper? My twins slept in the co-sleeper next to us for the first 3 months, and then we started co-sleeping in one bed which worked just great for everyone. Another alternative is to have a baby bed hanging form the ceiling next to you, so you can rock the baby gently. It is less common in US, but it is common in other countries like India. And please listen to your baby, he may not like to be anywhere but next to you, which is a very common and normal thing for a 1 month old. Please hang on there, by 3 months it will become easier, he will sleep longer, and you'll get more rest. As for you and your hubby, you'll need to allocate special time for being together. :-) Also, it seems that your toddler should sleep in his own bed, and the baby needs your warmth, closeness and breast more.

Hi M.,

Congrats on the new baby!

Yes, you are right...a month and a half is fresh out of the womb and it's far too young for crying it out. With my schooling in psychology, I frankly believe crying it out is never okay. Babies have only one way to communicate to you...vocally. Crying for your newborn can mean a variety of thing, "I'm too hot/cold', "I'm lonely", "I'm scared", "I'm bored", "I miss you", "I'm hungry", "I hurt"...etc. What a cruel world it is in the eyes of a newborn who cries out and no one answers. It's called "learned helplessness"--they realize that it doesn't matter if they call out, no one is going to listen. How sad for them! They eventually give up ('success' for some parents). That's why you may have seen clips on TV of orphanages in Romania (or the like) where there's a room full of all these kids in cribs and it's quiet...they know that even if they cry/call out, no one will help them and come to their aid. And yes, later down the line (for a lifetime) these kids have big social and psychological problems because they have not gotten the proper love and bonding they need to feel secure with the world.

So what to do? I strongly suggest reading, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It's a very helpful book (my kiddos sleep so well since putting her methods in to practice) and it's a super quick read ('cause you're sleep deprived and busy!).

Enjoy the blessings of your babies. Do please read the book. You'll all be sleeping better soon!

Hi M.!

I had the same issue. My baby (now 6 mo's) i had to feed her and hold her sitting upright with me in bed and sleep with her in my arms for a good 20 mins after she ate otherwise she'd spit up and I'd worry she throw up and suffocate. When I'd try and put her laying on her back she hated it! I then started putting her in her swing to go to sleep and she'd sleep for at least 4 hours at a time if it kept slightly swinging. One night we went on a camping trip in a friends trailer and she had to sleep in her car seat, she slept for 7 hours straight through which was great becuase i was worried she'd wake everyone up all night. I then started to gently rock her in her car seat for a few mins after I fed her and she slept great! I told my pediatrician that she'd only sleep in her car seat or the swing andhe said it's becuase its snug like when she was in the womb. I was terrible at swaddling..i tried she'd just kick it off. My pediatrician said it was ok for her to sleep in the swing but no longer than an hour. He said when they are young its ok but as she gets older she needs more support for her back. She slept in her car seat for probably 4 weeks. By the time she was 3 months she was ok. Don't worry, it is very normal but i hope that information helped. Oh yes and in her bassinet everyone will yell at me but she was so tiny i'd put a down pillow in there, put a fuzzy blanket wrapped around it..so when i dropped her in her bassinet she'd just sink a tiny bit like a cloud and she LOVED IT! They can't roll over yet and can't move becuase it's so soft and it wraps around them a bit. It worked for me. I hope I helped in some way.

Good luck!
J.

I have a similar story but we were lucky to have purchased a crib and a bassinet. We wanted the bassinet when my son first came home so he could be close to us in the bed but in his own bed. For some reason he hated the bassinet. I tried everything,and he still hated it. But when I put him in the "big ole" crib he slept perfectly fine. I immediately took the bassinet back to the store and moved the crib into our room for the first 6 months. Every once in a while at night, he would co-sleep as I b-feed but the crib seemed to work and periodically he would sleep in his swing and his travel car seat. Who knows why he didn't like the bassinet but don't force it. Every child is different. Good luck!

swaddle tightly and leave the lights dim so he can see a little bit. they get a bit freaked out by the complete darkness. but def swaddle him nice and tight and that should do the trick

You WILL have private time again -- a few months is really not that long.

I would just do whatever works. And you will probably be tired. He is too young to cry it out. My oldest had to be held all the time until he was about 5 or 6 months. At 1-1/2 months what you are experiencing is quite normal. Good luck.