Should He Be Able to Sit Still for More than a Few Minutes?

I have two boys (3 and 4) and I can tell you from experience.....hire a sitter for the wedding. It IS too much to ask for him to sit still. It's not adhd, hyperactivity, or anything else. It's being a 2 year old boy. Good news- He will grow up and listen and sit still before too long. I used to get very frustrated taking the boys to the library, grocery store, etc. When I realized that nothing was going to change them but time, I started to adjust my expectations. It saved (saves) me a lot of stress and time.

For him to be in a wedding is a BIG mistake, he will not work out even for a short time. He may also throw a temper temper tramtrum if corrected. This is fairly normal for a little one, but you might bring this up with the Dr. next time you see him.

my son was the same way. He is 33 months now & it is getting better. I still battle with him in church, but he can handle 30 min of story time. I usually try to take him outside to run around or for a walk before I need him to sit still. I tell him we're trying to get all his energy out. It works sometimes.

Get a sitter for the wedding. Even if it is an out of town event and you dont know anyone. I am sure the bride does or has someone who knows a trusted person. My 2yr old son cannot sit still...at home he can for a book and perhaps sometimes not even then. My parents recently took him to the movies, after I warned them he was too young and would not be able to sit still. That they would be running after him. Sure enough they came back a bit tired and said I was right he was too young.

2 year old boys are very, very busy. They can be busy as long as they are not really disruptive and destructive. 2 is a good time to start teaching "indoor voice" and to whisper, to NOT knock things over and NOT jump from furniture, etc....

It's OK to be a busy boy but now is good time to teach manners and respect. Make sure your son gets lots of running and playing in outdoors. He will sit a little better when he has to.

I would encourage you and the bride/ groom to re-think the 2 year old boy in a wedding!!!
I was a wedding planner for 6 years. Two year old boys and girls will not cooperate in a wedding.
Some girls by 3 and a half or 4 years old will do what you want. Most boys are closer to 5 before they will do a good job in a wedding.
You can practice and practice and practice at home or in an empty church...and on the day of the wedding when all those adults turn around and look at them, they will freak! I've seen it over 20 times in 6 years. I can't tell you how many brides ignored my warning...saying, "well, we are already practicing in the hallway at home and it works."

They will scream, cry, kick, run away and ruin the entire first couple minutes of that video. A screaming 2 year old is not cute, no matter how adorable they looked in their little suit before hand.

I've seen brides or their mothers in tears b/c no one could bribe the small child to walk down the aisle and stand in his/ her spot.
I've seen really frustrated grooms and attendants who were supposed to "control" the ring bearer and they couldn't. Not a good way to begin the wedding day. Please share these thoughts with the engaged couple.

2 year olds have about 2 minute attention spans. This is normal. Each child is different. Some can understand how to recognize when they are frustrated, bored or when they are ready for a different activity. Our child was very good at expressing these feelings and willing to go outside and scream. Or to ask for 2 minutes more of play time.

To expect a very active 21/2 year old to hold it together for a wedding and to perform any type of duties is a hit or miss.

I do special events and I would say there has only been one child younger than 3 that I ever saw be able to walk up the aisle and then sit through the entire ceremony without a fit.. There was a lot of squirming, taking off bits of clothing and kicking the pew, but the family was fine with this behavior. The child lived with the bride, groom (his parents)and the grandparents so they were used to all of this.

Do not set up a child to fail. It is not fair to him and you do not want him to take away from the wedding.If he attends, please be willing to leave the ceremony as soon as he starts to get squirmy. It is not a big deal, everyone else will thank you.

My son was the same way. I couldn't get him to sit still for story time. I kept trying every few months- but now he's 8 and he's still the only kid rolling around on the floor pulling at the carpet. Though your child's activity may be perfectly normal for 2-year-old, my son did not grow out of it. I finally have the testing to show he has severe ADHD(among other issues). We couldn't do storytime, but I did not give up on reading. I would read to him at home during dinner, and give him more active books like lift-the-flap or pop-ups. In pre-k, they tried having him sit on a bean-bag chair, a carpet square, a balance board, or holding a sticky ball of tape- but even that didn't work so they moved him to a smaller group. Now in 2nd grade, when he's not able to sit quietly with the other kids, he has a separate desk he can move back to, and has an aide with him most of the day to keep him on task.
My SIL wanted him to be a junior ringbearer in her wedding when he was around 3. It worked- barely- because his 5-year-old cousins held his hands and escorted him. After his part, I took him outside for the rest of the time. There was only 1 other younger child invited to the wedding, and she stayed outside with us.
For restaurants, I would always pack snacks in case the food didn't get there fast enough or he didn't like it. And lots of small toys to keep him occupied. At home, we talk about "restaurant manners" a lot. These days, our biggest problem is that sitting up straight in the hard chairs to reach a tall table makes him physically tired, so by the end of the meal he wants to lie down on the seat.

Hello I.! Honestly...each child is different & your little man sounds exactly like mine (he's now 6 yrs old). I couldn't do public story times w/him (keep trying maybe every 6 mths) we would go to the park, Gymboree, at 2 yrs old he was riding his 1st bike (w/training wheels)...he's a very active little boy. Today he loves story time. BUT hates sit down activities like leggos...he loves to sit down for art projects. Find out what he enjoys & let him play. You can do story time w/him at bed time & he'll grow to love it! I hope this helps :)

M. R.
www.mindyravinesphotography.com

Please ignore the hyperactivity remarks. Most 2 year old boys have a very short attention span and it is completely normal.

I do agree that at around 2 it is a good age to start teaching how to clean up messes. My son loved to dump toys and clear shelves at that age too. Every time he dumped something or cleared a shelf I had him pick up the mess. With time that impulse slowly faded and now if he knocks something over (usually by accident) he automatically picks it up or a small reminder is all that is needed.

In time he will be able to sit still for story time. I did not even attempt story hour until my son was closer to 2.5 and even then we would show up 5 minutes before it started and if he refused to sit and listen we left. With time and lots of patience he eventually was able to sit for longer intervals. At 3 he was able to sit through story hour without problems.

I would suggest kid friendly restaurants for now. Our favorites include anything with a sandbox or live music. We also indulge in take out when I just do not feel like cooking and want something other than fast food. Why make a meal stressful when it does not have to be? He has plenty of time to mature and sit at the table. Practice at home in the mean time what you expect.

At church if you have the option, put him in the church nursery. If this is not an option you can try to sit up close so he can see what is going on and bring him a few toys (cars, books) that he can play with quietly. If you have to take him out, take him out.

The wedding I would just tell the bride and groom that he is not ready for that role yet.

Good Luck from another momma with a very active little boy! It does get better, hang in there!

My kids could not do that at 2. But that is not to say that they shouldn't be able to show at least SOME self control. It sounds as if he is a very energetic kid (to put it nicely). I do not mean to offend, but to help.

Some kids are just wired differently. You will need to work with him consistently. Try it for 5 or 10 mins at a time. Just you and him. Sit with him facing you and say something like "we are going to play the still game". We are going to see who can sit still the longest- you or mom. Try to have all toys put away, TV off, no music, so there are no distractions. Slowly work with him on sitting still longer.

Good Luck

You have to practice at home what you expect in public is advice that I was given. You must discipline him in order to get what you want. Yes, a 2 year old can sit quietly through a wedding or funeral or church service - if he is trained accordingly. Expectations have to be made clear and discipline or praise must follow. Practice using a coloring book or dry erase board to help keep him occupied.

Well we have one of those also. He is just a bundle of energy!! He is a good boy but whoa, so energetic!! So what we had to do was start to really focus on training him in self-control at about the age your son is. For instance we started a system of him not leaving the table unless he was excused. If he got up, it was time out, at home, in a restaurant, at a friend's house, wherever. This really helped him start to control himself a lot more. Now at 2 1/2 he will ask if he is excused. We would also start to tell him when we were at places like the bank etc. that he could move within certain boundaries. Like from where I was standing to the end of the row etc. He was free to roam in whatever area we told him but if he left that boundary, it was immediate time out. Because he loves to move and wiggle, time out is like the worst for him! Anyway, these things have helped a lot and definitely dealing with any out of control behavior quickly before you lose you cool and they see that they have gotten a good rise out of you. Like one warning and then calm discipline, this helped me soooooo much because once I am irritated it just doesn't go as well. Anyway, hope some of those ideas help you, and yes I do believe they can learn some self control even at this young age. Best wishes!!

He's at the age where he's really starting to push the limits and boundaries need to be set and enforced. My 5 year old son is very much a busy body at home, but I can't think of a time when he has acted out in public, but we never stayed at home so that we didn't have to take the chances of him acting up. We took him out and he had to learn what was expected of him. I will even admit that I have my issues getting him to behave for me when we're at home, but he has still never pushed me to the limits in public; he knows we will go to the nearest belt section and try one out (I think it's more the embarassment factor there). Story time is a good chance to let him know that you expect him to sit in your lap quietly or face consequences, I think my son was about that age when we started storytime. You still have enough time to work on him, kids this age do what they're allowed to do. Good luck!! (I only have about 18 mos and I'll be doing it with twins, so we'll see if I'm still singing the same tune then...lol)

It's tough, especially at that age it seems no amount of reasoning will get across to him. Just stick to your guns and don't quit taking him places. If you don't take him, he will never learn how to behave in certain places. But, don't give into him either. My sister allowed her daughter to get up and stand around the table while they dine. She's 6 now and to this day, will not stay seated the entire meal. My son, age 7, on the other hand, knows better than to get up and roam around the table. He was never allowed to do that.

My suggestion for the wedding is to take him into the sanctuary before the wedding and let him roam and explore. Of course, all bets are off when he's there with a room full of people. Hopefully, the bride will understand that 2 year olds are very unpredictable and not have her expectations set very high for his behavior and reaction to the crowd, lights, flowers, music, etc.

If you cannot keep him on your lap for a story, then he is not ready for the wedding. I have never known a 2 yr old boy who could have done the wedding though.
Can he sit through a meal with you and dad? does he get out and get his running and screaming out of his system? If after a day of activity, he still cannot sit still for a story I would consider having him evaluated for hyperactivity. It is impossible to know from your description if you have a super busy boy or a hyperactive one.
Try sticks and carrots: "you have to sit in your chair until the timer goes off to get a cookie" and make it 5 minutes and lengthen to 25 in 5 min. increments. Mine could sit for a story and the 28 month old I have now can sit for a story, but not for a meal. She definitely could not do the wedding.
"Sticks" is not allowing him to disturb story time at the library. When mine acted up she was out on the curb in nano seconds. She hasn't done that again.
I would rethink that. Ignore Tori's belt, that is a bad idea.
good luck, he is a challenge.
K.

My suggestion is to practice things at home as you would expect him to do in public. Keep practicing until he gets it. Granted there are some kids who are more "active" than others but providing expectations and continuing to reinforce when he does what you want him to do might help. It might be difficult for you but being consistent is key here. You can't give in and let him run around when you get tired of working on this. He will eventually learn when and where it is appropriate to run and play. If you watch that Nanny show on TV you'll see that it takes constant repetition but after a while he will learn. Plus reinforcing when he does do what you want will help.

Also, if you know your son will not behave at a wedding then I wouldn't take him. That's not fair to the bride and groom.