Sex After Childbirth - How Long Did You Wait?

Updated on October 01, 2011
J.R. asks from Geneva, IL
24 answers

Hi Ladies,

I am just wondering what the average is!

I had a pretty serious episiotomy to heal from with my first born. It took a while to get back into the saddle.

With my second, the episiotomy wasn't as bad, but still took 8 weeks.

With baby #3, I just had two very minor tears. I am a few weeks postpartum and already feel great. I don't want to be stupid, but I'm curious if most people really wait six weeks, especially if you didn't have anything more than a few minor tears?

What did you guys do?

=)

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So What Happened?

Thanks! I didn't have a sex drive for a long time after the first two... but this time I feel great and ready to get back in the swing of things much sooner. It was a long 9 months. Was just wondering if I was in the minority or if some ladies go for it sooner.

I probably will just wait until I get my IUD put in. =)

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

3 weeks was the wait time my OB gave me. And darned if I didnt get pregnant again practically right away!

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

I realize I'm in the minority, but it was about 2 weeks after each of my two babies (c-section births).

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C.C.

answers from Kansas City on

What ever you decide....just remember not to take ANY chances or you will be pregnant again. You are so fertile right after you have a baby. I know...my first two are very close and we only slipped up one time.

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N.R.

answers from Fort Collins on

3-4 weeks with each child....Natural births with all(4) of them,no tear ,fast labors ,no complication.
Hope this help.
N.

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

My midwife told me to wait until I had had 3 days with no bleeding to make sure that the placental site was completely healed. After that, whenever I was ready.

With my first, it was 9 months, but that wasn't because I wasn't ready -- it was because my I was in the process of a divorce, and wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship.

With my second and third, it was about 2-3 weeks. Both were natural births with no complications or tearing, and I tend not to bleed a lot from childbirth.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I don't think it's about the tearing so much as the risk of infection.
You had something huge come out, you don't need something going back in for a while.

That's what my doctors told me about resuming intercourse. Even if you weren't in a lot of pain, it was for infection and bacteria purposes.

Not to mention the risk of another pregnancy.
I know people who didn't wait 6 weeks and they have kids less than 11 months apart.
My grandmother got pregnant with my father immediately after my uncle was born. They were basically raised as twins.
Same thing with a girl I work with.
They didn't think they could get pregnant so soon.

Let your body heal. Don't do anything that hurts you.
I understand having desire for your husband, but give your hoo-hah a break.
That's just my opinion.

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

No sex for 6 weeks rule was born out of the desire for physicians to get a woman on birth control at the 6 week postpartum check up before she resumed sexual activity in order to prevent pregnancy. As long as your episiotomy/vaginal tear is healing and not causing pain and you aren't having signs of infection of the uterus (smelly discharge or abdominal pain), there's really not much risk. BE SURE YOU USE CONTRACEPTION EVERY TIME though because I've had too many women have a positive pregnancy test at the 6 week check up. A condom is a good choice especially if you are still bleeding lightly and have risk of infection. Another pregnancy so soon is at great risk of miscarriage and pregnancy complications as well as being a really h*** o* a woman's body and sanity. Nurse Midwife Mom of 3

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,

I waited for 9 weeks for my 1st baby, 8 weeks for my 2nd child and am pregnant with our third. I think if you feel ok, you could probably have sex when you feel better. Take it slow though....its rough the first several times.

M

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I waited the full 6 to 8 weeks with all of my kids. I wasn't ready to have sex again and made sure that my husband knew that the doctor said I had to wait! The first time after the kids was always kind of different, slow down, where's the lube, wait! I only had two small tears with my first (2 stitches), but I was a single mom so it was a while before I had relations again. With my second two they were both C-sections, but I still waited!
L.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My OB said: Whenever you feel like it. Go slow, and you'll know if it's too soon.

I had no tearing and no episiotomy. I happened to feel like it just a few weeks in. So that's what I did. And she was right. First time was a few days too soon. So it got called off. A few days later, :D :D :D

S.T.

answers from Denver on

It was 8 or 9 weeks. I tore pretty badly. I think I've heard the doctors recommend 6 weeks no matter what, just to be safe. If your doc says sooner is OK, then go for it!

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G.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Yes I waited until I went back to the doctor for my checkup so that I could be put back on birth control. I love sex but didnt need it that bad. I didnt want to risk getting pregnant again! I had been looking forward to getting my body back and making plans. Wasnt about to risk missing out on all that just because I was horny. With each pregnancy, yes I waited.

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K.A.

answers from Saginaw on

I only waited 2 weeks-for all 3 of my kids. I was and still am just fine!

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C.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I had three c-sections, so I had to wait the 6-8 weeks. Sorry I can't be much help!

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

6 weeks. I got the ok from the doctor at my postnatal appt. and two day latter I got married so yeah I was going to have sex on my wedding night.

S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

With my first I think it was 4-5 weeks. Second it was only a little after 2 weeks. Both were c-sections though. With this next one I don't think we will be having sex for a few years. I can't imagine having the time with 3 kids!

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Oh gosh. I can't remember but I do know it was long after the 6 weeks had passed both times.
I did however get my 'desire to' back way sooner after my 2nd.
HTH!
ETA: Had an episiotomy w/ my 1st. Tore w/ my 2nd.

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

One stitch, almost no tearing with my first. I think we waited 4 or 4 1/2 weeks.

With my second, I had the same, almost no tearing, one stitch. We waited around the same amount of time, maybe a little less time.

With my third, I had no tearing, no stitches, and I wanted sex the day I left the hospital. I didn't tell my husband that and still had to talk him into resuming that at about 3 or 3 1/2 weeks. This last time we actually used condoms since I wasn't back on birth control until my 6 week appointment.

My doctor always said to wait 6, but that if I felt ready sooner and had no pain it was fine. I think you are supposed to wait for the bright red bleeding to stop since your uterus is just so exposed after delivery, but otherwise it is more a matter of when you are comfortable.

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S.F.

answers from Utica on

I was the same as you with my first - a pretty serious set of stitches and I was really sore for quite some time. It took months before I could even have sex and many months after that before it was 'fun' again. I am currently pregnant with number 2 and I am nervous about the damage that could be waiting for me afterwards but its nice to hear that it was a bit less for baby number 2 with you. I think even of I was feeling good though before the 6 week wait I would still be inclined to wait just because you never know - you could be setting yourself up for more problems by not waiting. What if you tear more or if you cause an infection?
Good Luck

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H.1.

answers from Des Moines on

8 weeks - had the okay at my 6 week checkup but I was healing from a pretty bad episiotomy and wasn't feeling up to it

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

All 3 times we had the 6 week post partum celebratory sex. He was awaitin' my arrival home from the 6 week appointment. We both felt excited to get back to the intimate time.

Good luck and best wishes!! Congrats on baby #3...this is an exciting time for your family.

K.J.

answers from Chicago on

I've waited the 6 weeks after all my deliveries, and I didn't even deliver vaginally.

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J.D.

answers from Boston on

I really can't remember exactly but I think with each of my 3 I waited at least 6 weeks with each. I was hardly in the mood before that even if my body would have been! lol

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It's been different with all 6 of mine. My rule of thumb is wait only as long as you feel necessary. Doctors recommend 6 weeks postpartum. Sometimes I've needed every one of those days (plus a few more). Others, I was ready a couple of weeks earlier than that. Trust your body to know what is right.

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