Pet Loss... - Bonita Springs,FL

Updated on March 18, 2010
T.M. asks from Bonita Springs, FL
19 answers

Hi Ladies,
How many of you have sent out sympathy cards for pet loss??? And how do you decide to do that??? I am really iffy about sending a card. My brother and sister-in-law lost their beloved dog yesterday, he was very sick and died in his sleep which took the decision making out of their hands to put him to sleep. To date I have not ever sent one of these type cards out to any family member or friends that have lost their animals. Going back how many years we lost our German Shepherd and I never recieved any cards through the mail. I was deeply affected by the loss of my dog and we remained dog less for many years because I did not want to go through that type of loss again. I have verbally expressed over the phone how bad we feel to have heard the news but I don't know what to do next??? If anything... When this happened to one of my friends she quit talking for awhile. I had no idea what to say, I did not know what to do for her .... felt she needed some alone time.. I waited till she called me to talk about it. I often wondered if this was the right thing to do. Loosing a dog is so hard at any time but even harder when your pet has been in your family for a long time. Any suggestions how to handle this is going to be appreciated. We live out of state so its not like I can jump in my car to do a cheer up visit. I Thank you so much for your input.

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So What Happened?

Thank you Ladies for all the good input you have graciously provided me. It has been a very rough weekend for my family that lost their dog as all of you and I already knew it would be. I have been online searching the sites that all of you have recommended and really appreciate your thoughtfulness. I have called them on the telephone and checked in. I have taken your heartfelt advice about the different types of cards to appropriately send out to them and have gone shopping and picked one card up and mailed it out...Donations and memorials in honor of their very special dog that all of us liked so very much ....all of these are really wonderful ideas! This loss of my brother and sisiter-in-laws beloved dog triggered my memory bank of sadness and grief. The emotions surfaced once again reliving my own pain regarding the dogs that my husband and I along with our kids have had, loved, and lost...I am starting to think that our 4 legged friends are in our lives for different reasons and at different times in our lives and are never meant to be forgotten.

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R.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

I also say send the card. As this is family if you have any pics of the family with the dog that they dont you could send that too. My sister found some pics of mine dog shortly after he died. It is was nice. I also like the idea of the stones/headstone. I know you can get a stepping stone--I can't remeber the site- it wasn't that expensive. My girls wanted that to remeber him.

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R.K.

answers from Tampa on

I would send a card. It helps for people to be reminded that you are thinking of them. It is hard for animal lovers because sometimes their grief is not legitimized. There is often the attitude of "its just a dog". By sending a card you legitimize their grief.

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L.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi, we just had to put our dog of 12 years down last week. It was extremely difficult for our family. He was our "first child" and was treated like a member of the family by both immediate and extended family. We received several sympathy cards and they really helped us deal with the loss. The majority of the cards were sent by family and friends who are "dog people". There were several with notes about specific memories of Jack and they really meant so much. I too have sent sympathy card to friends who have lost their dogs as well..they have always been appreciated.

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M.S.

answers from Columbus on

This past year, 3 out of the 4 kids in our family lost pets. My brother and SIL lost their dog unexpectedly and my sister and BIL had to put their dog down. We also had to put down our beloved horse, Cody. It was very h*** o* each family and we all supported each other with cards, calls, email, etc. My brother drew my name for our Christmas exchange and donated money to the humane society in Cody's name. That was one of the most wonderful gifts I've ever received. Obviously, your brother was a dog lover, so I say absolutely - a card would be a very nice gesture. It's not how you felt about the pet, but how they felt about their pet. To know that someone cares enough for them to support their grief, has to be a comforting feeling.
Be honest. Tell them you know you don't have any words to make them feel better, but they should know that you are thinking of them.
*One thing I will never forget is an email I received before any of our family lost their dogs. I wish I could find it again, because I've had to paraphrase, but this is the basics.......a vet was making a visit to a family who were having to euthanize their dog. The vet was talking to the young son about why their dog was having to have this done. The parents were explaining why dogs have a shorter life than humans. The boy seemed to understand completely, so they asked him his thoughts. He said he knew why dog's lives were shorter.....it was because they learned how to love before people did. They learned unconditional love a lot faster, so God says
"You did a great job, you can come home, now." That always sticks with me. This is why dogs rock. :)

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

I have never personally sent a card. But, when my dog Jordan passed it was really h*** o* me. He was my baby. This was almost 4 years ago. My vet, the specialist office (he had cancer) both sent me a sympathy card in the mail. It was very touching. Also, 2 of my closest coworkers got me a card and left it on my desk when I returned to work, I took a couple of days off. You don't have to write much. Just tell them how sorry you are for them, that they are in your thoughts. It really did mean alot to me to recieve the cards from the vets in the mail and also my co-workers.

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S.F.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi. Cards are always great to get. You don't have to do a pet sympathy card if you don't want to. Just a thinking of you type of card. You obviously know how hard it is to lose a loved one like a pet. Just tell them how badly you feel, how much you loved the dog and maybe mention some funny, quirky things you remember about him/her. It will make them smile in the memory. Expressing your love and being there is always a great idea and will be appreciated.
good luck.
S.

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L.O.

answers from Melbourne on

Go ahead and send her a card. Sometimes a simple gesture like that is enough to let them know you are thinking of them. I was devastated when I lost my dog several years ago and cried off and on for at least two months. Our vet, who had put Yasha down, was kind enough to send us a card and we really appreciated it. After all, it's something he does practically everyday, but he was kind enough to realize it wasn't something we went through everyday.

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V.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I've given a card for pet loss before, it was very well received. If you go to a Halmark or American Greetings store sometimes they have sympathy cards specifically for pets. (I used to work at a card store and I know we had them) Doing something is better than nothing especially where you aren't close by.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I have both sent and received pet-condolence cards. I think they are very nice touches, because a pet-loss is treated differently by society than the loss of a family member - and yet, for the family, that is how it feels. I think pet condolence cards kind of legitimize the sense of loss the family is feeling. That's just my opinion.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

when my friend's dog died I went to hallmark and bought her a doggie condolence card. I also bought her a pie. I know she was very attached to her dog and it did make her feel better.

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A.G.

answers from Orlando on

You can find a poem online called "The Rainbow Bridge". I don't know who wrote it, but it is perfect for someone that has lost a pet.

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S.W.

answers from Miami on

Send the card. It's appropriate to also acknowledge their loss. Include a fond memory of the pet (chewing up the shoes, barking at the wind...anything that will bring a smile...)

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L.N.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have sent cards in the past and my friends were really touched. I was able to find perfect cards at www.jennysweenydesigns.com, but if you can't find one you like you could always send a card telling them you are thinking about them.

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J.D.

answers from Tampa on

Hi,
Your family members would love to have a card and a donation to say SPCA or some Rescue Organization in their dog's name. I know, I have been through it twice and I swore that I could never go through it again...it helps to know that others care during your grief. I still have small mementos of them both, a toy and their collar, even a small blanket. They were both American Pit Bull Terriers, and I loved getting a card of rememberance from those that knew us, and them. I was fortunate to have them in my life for 14 years each. I replaced the last one 2 years ago after being "dog starved" for 2 years, and lots of tears. This one is only 13 pounds of love that I rescued from Lost Angels. And what an angel he is! Please, do this, they will appreciate it and never forget your act of kindness. These little guys are a member of our families...it hurts!
J.

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Send the card- I got one and was so touched. Make sure you have said- "I am so sorry for your loss"
When you talk to them say"How are you doing?" and then really listen.
These are the things which helped me when we had a death in our family- people and pets.
best,k

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B.R.

answers from Boca Raton on

it would be good to send a card, you might want to look online at pet memorials to send them something with the dogs name, breed etc. i just ordered a memorial stone for a friend (personal creations) and they loved it...best wishs.

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C.F.

answers from Jacksonville on

Not only do I recommend you send a card, but also include a copy of the poem "Rainbow Bridge" which is so beautifully written that I tear up everytime I read it. When I recently lost my beloved kitty of over 10 years, a cousin sent me a sympathy card with that poem in it and somehow, I felt a peaceful closure knowing that our pets DO live on in another realm, far more wondrous than the earthly one their physical bodies inhabited while here. You can "google" it and find it online. I think anyone who has lost a dear pet should have a copy of that, and also knowing that you care and understand that a pet's loss is just as real feeling and significant as any other life should bring comfort to the one(s) grieving. Hope this helps:)

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M.H.

answers from Melbourne on

I have received sympathy cards for the loss of pets and really appreciated it. If you know they had strong feelings for the dog I would send.

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C.T.

answers from Tampa on

It is the hardest thing to go through.....but not to adopt again I feel is a very selfish act. There are so many dogs out there in animal shelters that need your love. I am up in age and never been without a dog and boy oh boy the feeling when one passes on. I can cry just thinking about it, but when I think of all the ones that need you I will say "Go get one" it will help.
Now about your family's loss. You don't need to send a card, I think they know how you feel since you went through the same thing. You could tell them however to adopt another one soon.....to love and to fill the void. Believe me ...it will help.

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